So many years had gone by, but Inéz could still remember the pain, the fear, the cold. Every damn thing. Terrifying feelings that she wouldn’t wish on the devil himself. Maybe her mind jumped to that comparison because she had more in common with Satan at this point than she wanted to admit out loud.
"I will fucking kill the motherfucker," Noah hissed.
His eyes became darker, making the girl’s breath catch in her throat. He had the power to scare her with simple words. It didn’t matter that they were coming from a place of protectiveness over her. A monster hid within Noah. But he was the only one she didn’t want to run away from, even if the path he was leading her on was getting too dark to see what lay ahead.
She shivered, which the Caposaw, making him lower his voice. "Don’t," she whispered.
It was almost four in the morning, but neither Noah nor Inéz cared. The man wouldn’t leave without answers. Each day there were more and more things he noticed out of place about the girl. Her undoubtable fascination with brutality, over-the-top bravery as she hid the fear she obviously felt, and reluctance towards alcohol.
"How can you be alright with him still breathing? For fuck’s sake, Inéz, the moment you learned who I was should have been the time to tell me this story. I would have helped you get revenge."
Inéz laughed. He didn’t understand it. "I love my father, Noah. It was a dark time and not just for me. He made a mistake. A big one. I could have died because of it. But he is my dad and I forgave him the moment I opened my eyes in that godforsaken hospital. And I don’t regret it for one second. What happened to me made me stronger," she said.
"You were a child. You didn’t need to be strong, you needed to be safe."
Noah probably thought he would have acted differently. That he would kill his father if their roles were reversed. But it wasn’t true. As someone born into the mafia, he most likely saw and experienced much worse. Marco Falcone could have never in a million years been a decent human being. Let alone a good parent. However, Noah still respected him enough not to put a bullet in his head on the first occasion. They were the same. Shaped by their pasts.
"How did you recover?"
"Long years of rehabilitation. I actually only stopped a little bit after graduating high school. I tried many sports as they were supposed to help me."
The Capo shook his head. "Pole dancing can’t possibly be good for your spine."
"It’s not. But I’m an adult and I am responsible for my actions. Besides, I know what things are out of the question as far as dancing goes. So don’t worry, because I would never knowingly endanger myself," she assured the man.
She saw in his eyes that he would gladly change his plans right then and there and she would be free of being a pole dancer. However, she had a sense of responsibility, so she wouldn’t agree on quitting the job. The Famiglia was hers to care for and that’s what she was going to do. If providing the information on Gastone would help, then so be it.
"I just wish I hadn’t changed for the worse because of it," she whispered.
Noah frowned. "You should be proud of who you’ve become."
Inéz turned her head, meeting Noah’s intense gaze. "Are you proud of who you are?"
"This life doesn’t take hostages, nor does it allow anyone to be soft and gentle. It’s brutal, dangerousand dark. I’ve always been taught to fight for what I want with bloody knuckles and to stomp on broken pieces ofglass at the same time if I need to. People grew to respect me because ofthis. They still do. And I need them to be afraid of me, too. Enough not to go against me," he explained. "The mafia makes warriors out of children, cara. Flavio and I are living, breathing proof. And I am proud of it. Your childhood made you the same. Shaped you into the woman you are today. But all you do is fight against it, instead of embracing your nature. Just because society doesn’t approve, it doesn’t mean that you have to hide or lurk in the shadows. I built a new, improved society and believe me when I say this - you are free to show your true colors without fear of rejection. It’s better to be real no matter how harsh the truth can seem, Inéz."
"Would you say the same to your sister if she was here?" the girl asked.
So many times she wanted to bring up this topic, but it was never the right time. It went without saying that the Falcone brothers were hurting because of losing Sienna. She was family, so of course, they missed her and would probably prefer not talking about her. It was the only thing that could get to them.
Noah sighed. "I would," he said without hesitation. "I made the best out of each situation, just like you had to. Just like Sienna probably would have. She was extremely smart for her age. I truly believed that once I was to become a Capo, she would have more to say in the matters than me because I would go to her and ask for advice all the time."
Inéz laughed. "Somehow I doubt you’d let anyone, let alone a woman, rule over you."
"Yes, well, I won’t give anyone the satisfaction of finding that out, but my sister wouldn’t ask for permission. She would just be there whenever I needed her."
"Because if there’s a woman you appreciated and loved, it was Sienna."
The Caponodded. "She deserved to live," he whispered.
For the first time, there was vulnerability in his eyes. Sadness over the death of his younger sister. But most importantly - love. Something Inéz wouldn’t have imagined
