But Noah too had transformed into someone who would put his trust in someone else’s hands, believing that it was the right thing to do. He had opened himself up for a woman’s presence and didn’t allow the past experiences with his younger sister cloud his judgement anymore.
Both had been scarred by the past and had evolved into different people, better ones under each other’s influence. It was admirable.
However, the toxicity was still an obstacle. Inéz knew that now. And she didn’t know how to handle it without it getting into the way of their relationship.
"I deserve more than you can give me, Noah. I deserve to be everything that you need. Not only what you want. You clearly need your Famiglia, not me. You need power.I know it now. That means that you don’t deserve to get any part of me,"she explained.
Color abandoned Noah’s face. "What do you mean?"
"I was prepared to do more than I should for you. I stayed in this job because I was so certain that it was what you needed, and that I should be able to handle something so important for you when you did so much for me. Everyone kept telling me to be careful but I decided to go all-in without checking the cards I had been dealt with. And that’s toxic."
Noah leaned in and kissed the corner of her lips. "There’s no such thing. I have never wanted you to be that committed to the task. Yes, it clouded my mind to think that you could finish it. But one word and I would have called everything off, cara."
"It doesn’t really matter what you would have done, because at the end I chose to do it for you time and time again. When Gastone started to get too touchy, Julian caught me eavesdropping, and Elio got suspicious of my real motives. I still stuck around. It didn’t change a thing that Nicodemo assured me that you would want me to be done after that time in the VIP room. I felt a duty towards you, not the Famiglia. You."
"I will never do anything like this again, Inéz. Just don’t leave me."
"I just need some time to think this all through. Please, understandme," she pleaded, hoping that she wouldn’t change her mind in a matter of seconds. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done. To let go when she so badly wanted to hold on. Because she had been raised to overcome obstacles. To fight when there was even the slightest hope. But she had to stay strong and keep her promise.
Right now, he wasn’t surprised that she wanted some time away from him. For the very first time, he wasn’t going to push his will through just because of who he was. It didn’t work like that. And even though it was killing him on the inside, he squeezed Inéz’s hand lightly, placing a kiss on her forehead, and stepped out of the room before he would say or do something that he would regret.
It was punishment for Noah, of it he was sure. To want something as much as he wanted her, but to know that the monster in him would never really deserve it.
§ § §
Two months went by so quickly that Inéz couldn’t even put her finger on the exactmoments when she left the hospital, started feeling physically better while going to rehabilitation once again, or strong enough to try going back to the usual routine that she’d had in Seattle. But the truth was, she didn’t care enough about any of that to pay attention as emotionally she was still a mess. Even though she did everything possible to stop thinking about Noah, and start focusing on herself. Flavio had arranged for her to keep working in theFamiglia’sname with one of the senators from Las Vegas as they were trying to keep an eye on the political side and increase their influence. And with Inéz’s experience, it was the right fit.However, it was not seeing Noah since he had come to her hospital room that kept her from actually being able to start fresh.
At one point she would have to see him again. He was her Capoand had every right to command her just as he did all other soldiers. It was only his willingness to give her some space that made him involve his brother and got him to work with Inéz instead. And she was grateful. But, unfortunately, when she looked at Flavio it didn’t change much. What was worse, seeing Isaac or Drew was also not good for her, but she wouldn’t tell them that. Strangely, Anastasia had visited her a couple of times which had been refreshing. They were both trying to fit into the world of the Las Vegas Famigliaand still continue to be themselves. And Inéz couldn’t be more grateful to Flavio for bringing her, although she wished that the girl would be allowed to join her family in New York.
Now that Inéz had officially been introduced as an inducted soldier into the Famiglia, and no longer under the threat of an already gone Gastone Conte, she wasn’t afraid to go out by herself. However, she was pretty sure that someone had been keeping an eye on her anyway. Whether it had been ordered by Noah or Flavio, it didn’t matter. It was predictable. Made Men took care of their own.
As she was coming back from her rehabilitation, she found two men waiting for her in front of her apartment. Elio and Fabro Conte. Soldiers whom she’d deceived in a spectacular way, and had only found out the truth when she had been kidnapped by their father. And their cold expressions showed exactly that.
Inézstoppedat the last step, ready to turn back.
