It just wasn't in the cards.
So she couldn't come up with an explanation as to why he was there.
"Let me in, baby girl," he pleaded, his words mixing with the downpour.
Savannah didn't answer, nor did she open. She slid down, tucking her knees under her chin. She closed her eyes, focusing on breathing. It wasn’t like Elio would linger much longer and she just had to survive whatever else he would say to make her invite him.
She wouldn't. She was strong enough not to.
Elio sighed. "Alright," he began. "I'll tell you anyway and you'll listen."
What? What else could there possibly be to say? She asked in her head. He saw her in the window when he got out of the car. He knew she was here and wasn't able to simply move on to doing some housework and completely ignore him.
"The truth is I don't know what my future holds. I could live fifty more years, or twenty. Fuck, for all I know I could die tomorrow." Pause. "I put my life out there every single day without as much as an afterthought, yet I drew the line here with you. I know I'm an asshole. No one can probably compare at this point, and I realize that I screwed up and hurt you in the process."
Savannah nodded, agreeing with what he said even though he couldn't see.
"I said things before and made you think that I was lying. I wasn't, Savannah. I wish I was, though. Because putting myself out there is one thing, putting my feelings for people to know is something I didn't want to do. It's fucking hard."
"Yes, it is," she whispered to herself.
"But I care about you and believe that whatever happened between us has a reason. It's not faith or destiny. Those things are bullshit. However, whatever it is I need it. I need you."
It became increasingly tough to wait it out and she started doubting herself. Maybe that was his goal. To wrap her around his little finger until she saw nothing but him.
He played games. He lied. He got what he wanted.
Always.
"I know I’m asking for too much probably and you have to think about yourself and your brother, but if you find it in yourself to try and see where this can go, I'm just one phone call away."
He then must have pulled out his keys and she heard a ring.
She rose, standing in her hallway, barefoot and in a tank top and shorts. Completely and utterly torn between what she knew was the right thing to do and what she wanted. The worst thing was that she was well aware of how little control she had when Elio was concerned. He took it all. Time and time again. And she was left with giving in because there was nothing left for her to do.
And she actually loved that as pathetic as it may sound.
With a heavy heart, she reached for the knob and opened the door, stepping out. Elio was downstairs, walking towards his car. It was pouring and he was already soaked, but in no rush to get inside.
This showed her that there was a slight hope within him that she might actually come after him. Say what he wanted to hear.
Savannah wanted to be that girl who counted the fucks she should give as they were flying by. Under normal circumstances, she could be, if she really tried. However, Frank was right. So right that it made her angry for giving in to such stupid emotion.
To be in love is to be destroyed.
It never ends well.
It never had for her parents. It had only broken them.
And they'd broken her in return.
She refused to do the same to Aiden because she couldn't control her feelings.
But she was fucking weak which she proved to herself with each step she took towards the man. She walked down the stairs, not caring that she was going to get wet or that she hadn’t even bothered with shoes.
She watched Elio unlocking the car doors the moment she stood still in the middle of the parking lot. "I need you, asshole," she said out loud.
Elio stopped and turned around.
"I hate it and I don't want to. I take responsibility, Elio. Every single goddamned day I do that because there's no other way. I think of how certain things will affect Aiden, I try to do right by him. I work and pay a large amount of money so he can have what I never had. One might say I take too much responsibility. But you take none. Not enough. Not even close."
She swallowed, shaking her head. "You put me in a situation where I cannot be sure of anything. And want me to accept it and dare to live a little," she repeated the words he had said to her on their first date. As if they were supposed to make it all alright.
"And I still need you," she added before she quickly came up to him and pressed her body to his, hugging him.
At first, the man hesitated before wrapping his arms around her fragile body and placing a single kiss on her head. They didn't care about the rain that was mercilessly hitting their bodies. Their clothes became heavy. His fingers were stroking her bare arms. Then Savannah looked up at him, searching for any reassurance that she wasn't putting herself out there for nothing. That at last Elio took it seriously.
"Don't expect me to be your happily ever after. I barely can see happy most of the time," she said.
Elio smiled and lifted her chin a little. He looked into her eyes. "Happy is overrated."
He leaned in.
"I'm not going to kiss you in the rain. It's so cliché. And I'm not about to catch a cold," she commented, pushing him away lightly and moved towards her apartment. Elio was still standing in the same spot. She turned around, frowning. "Are you coming
