“I’m here,” Eric murmured, his breath hot on Olivier’s ear. He curled himself around Olivier, like a warm, safe cage. “Whatever you decide, I’ll be here.”
Olivier’s throat closed. Really? “I thought you—I thought you hated me.”
“Not anymore, I don’t.” Eric hugged him close. Then he turned Olivier around, peering into Olivier’s eyes. “You okay?”
Olivier shook his head, scarcely able to believe this. “You don’t... hate me?”
“Nope.” Eric dropped a kiss on his nose, and it was so intimate that Ollie couldn’t believe it. Could only stare as Eric met his eyes, Eric’s gaze ever so patient.
Olivier hadn’t seen that in years. Hadn’t had anyone offer him comfort like Eric was now. For Eric to do that...
He bit his lip hard, whimpering. Eric really doesn’t hate me. It felt like an iron band around his chest had cracked open a little, and he could breathe again. “Oh.”
With gentle fingers, Eric brushed Olivier’s hair out of his face. Then he pulled Olivier close, and held him. Olivier filled his lungs with cedar, his body relaxing ever so slightly.
“Let’s get you home,” Eric murmured. “I want to see you safe in bed before I leave.”
With the enema on the to-do list, it wasn’t as though Ollie would get in bed anytime soon. His heart fluttered, though. “You don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
“Why?”
Eric shrugged, looking away. “My responsibility.”
“I’m an adult, Eric. I don’t need to be babied.”
“I’m not babying you.” Eric frowned, making an impatient, disgruntled sound. “I just want to see that you’re okay, all right? I mean, with this... this thing. All of this.”
He waved at the enema and morning-after pill, and Olivier’s cheeks burned. “I need to get home first,” Olivier mumbled. “And... and clean myself out.”
“I’ll help.”
How? Olivier squirmed at the thought of Eric touching him again. It sounded good. Better than good.
I’m ashamed that you’re part of our family, Olivier’s stepmother would say.
Olivier silenced his thoughts, pulling himself out of Eric’s arms. “I’ll head home now.”
“I’ll follow,” Eric murmured.
He let his fingers skim down Olivier’s arm, then waited until Olivier got into his car. It was only when Olivier started the engine, that Eric pulled his own car out of the parking spot to follow him.
They drove for a while, the white-yellow glow of Eric’s headlights winking in Olivier’s rearview mirror. At a stoplight, he popped the morning-after pill out of its foil pillow, and swallowed it dry. Didn’t let himself think about it. He didn’t want to think about carrying a baby to term, didn’t want to drag Eric into a commitment he wasn’t prepared for. This wasn’t a baby he should be conceiving.
And yet... A tiny part of Olivier twisted at the thought of losing this baby. It would be Eric’s. It would be a child his alpha had given him.
Olivier whimpered, looking down at his belly. It was flat now, and it would continue to be flat for the foreseeable future.
“It’s the right choice,” he told himself. “Things will be okay.”
When he pulled into his apartment’s parking lot, the place was quiet, and most of the windows in the building were lit up. His own window was dark, though. There wasn’t anyone else waiting there.
Olivier climbed out of his car, hugging the enema kit to himself. He needed to wash Eric’s seed out of his body. Erase the evidence that he’d spent his heat with his brother.
A door slammed, and Eric jogged up to him a few moments later.
“All right?” Eric asked.
Olivier shrugged. He trudged over to the elevator lobby, Eric following him. “I thought you had elsewhere to be. People to care for,” Olivier said. “You know, your daughter.”
Those words tasted bitter.
“She’s fine. She’s with Mom and Dad.” Eric stepped into the elevator after him, his gaze heavy on Olivier. “You said you don’t have an alpha.”
Olivier rolled his shoulders, staring at the buttons. He hit the one for the fourth floor, wondering if it was inappropriate to ask for another hug. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.”
Why the hell would I be? Olivier bit back his answer, waiting as the elevator swept them up through the building. The silence was awkward. When the doors finally slid open, Olivier said, “You try having a pregnancy scare.”
Eric winced. “Sorry.”
At his front door, Olivier struggled with his keys. He didn’t want any of the neighbors seeing Eric with him. Didn’t want the news to spread even further. There were a few neighbors on this floor he was fond of—old Mrs. Riley, an alpha called Kate, and a pair of twins in the far apartment. If they knew how whorish he’d been... they’d look at him differently, wouldn’t they? It’d be worse if he carried Eric’s baby.
Olivier’s hands shook. Then the key slid home, and the door opened. His skin crawling, Olivier flicked on the lights, hurrying toward the bathroom.
He pried open the enema box on the way. Looked at the small, clear bottle that slid into his palm, with a rubber-tipped nozzle at the top.
He’d never used one of these. Hadn’t the slightest idea what he should do, where he should go to administer it.
“You need help?” Eric asked from the bathroom door.
Olivier jumped, his heart pounding. Hadn’t thought Eric would follow him here.
“I don’t know,” he said, holding the bottle to his chest.
“Come here, I’ll help.”
Instead of waiting for Olivier to approach him, Eric stopped in front of Olivier, taking the bottle out of his hand. Then he glanced around. “You have towels?”
Olivier pointed at the bathroom cabinet, squirming. “Some.”
“Lay some on the floor. Here.” Eric grabbed a couple of towels, shaking them open. Then he built a short stack of open towels, kneeling beside it. “Get your pants off, and lie on your side.”
Olivier paused. This wasn’t appropriate, was it? Stripping in front of Eric.
Eric raised an eyebrow. “I’m not waiting forever, you know.”
Olivier bit his lip, pulling his pants open. Eric had already seen him utterly naked. Hell, Eric had licked
