“I don’t know.”
Olivier sank down like he was trying to hide himself. There was a dark trail on the ground leading toward him, and he smelled like piss.
Fury burned in Eric’s chest. “You were scared.”
He wanted to punch Zan again. Except Zan was unconscious, and there was only Olivier, scared and broken and wanting.
Would it be okay if... if he touched Olivier? Eric reached forward slowly. When Ollie didn’t flinch, he caught Ollie’s chin, tipping his face up. Ollie’s warmth had never felt so welcome on his skin.
Olivier leaned away then. “I’m disgusting, Eric.” He covered his face, his hands shaking. “Go home. You shouldn’t see me like this.”
Eric’s heart broke. Which fucker made you think that? He curled his fingers gently around Olivier’s wrists, lifting Ollie’s hands away from his swollen face. “You aren’t disgusting.”
“Zan touched me.” Olivier’s voice cracked. “And—and I pissed myself. And I don’t deserve you at all. A-and...”
His face crumpled. Ollie sobbed, the sound slicing into Eric’s chest.
Eric gathered Olivier into his arms, pressing kisses to his ear, then his temple. “I still love you,” Eric said, meaning it with all his heart. “I’ll never stop loving you.”
Olivier sobbed brokenly into his shoulder, his fingers curling into Eric’s shirt. He seemed okay with Eric’s touch now. Maybe all he needed was some patience.
So Eric cradled him, brushing his fingers through Olivier’s hair. He kissed Ollie’s ear, filling his lungs with carnation and honey.
“Why?” Olivier mumbled, his voice breaking. “I’ve done everything wrong, Eric. I said all the things I didn’t mean. I pushed you away. I...”
“Because I know who you are deep down,” Eric murmured, pressing his nose into Ollie’s hair. “Because it’s always been you. I can’t stop loving you.”
Olivier cried. He wasn’t pulling away anymore. He felt small and vulnerable and afraid, and Eric regretted leaving him for this long. Regretted not returning soon enough to save him from all this pain.
“I’m gonna bring you home,” Eric whispered. “You’re safe now. He’s not gonna hurt you anymore.”
Olivier buried his face in Eric’s shoulder, his tears soaking Eric’s shirt. “I... I asked him to hit me.”
Eric’s blood grew cold. “You—Why?”
He’d thought Zan had been lying about that.
Olivier hunched into himself, sniffling. “I thought you’d... forgive me if I hurt. If I was punished for everything I’d done. I said terrible things, Eric.”
And Eric suddenly understood just how much Olivier would put himself through, just to make up for things. Just so he received what he thought he deserved.
Eric closed his eyes, horrified. The times Olivier had left him, the times Ollie had blamed himself for things... It should never have been Olivier’s fault. It had been Eric’s mom telling Ollie how little he was worth, telling Ollie he should be punished. It had been Zan, trapping Olivier with his cruelty.
I should’ve known he wouldn’t heal so easily. Eric pulled Olivier closer, holding him tight. “Promise me you’ll never get yourself beaten up like that again.”
Olivier looked away. “I’m a bad person.”
“No, you aren’t.” Eric stared fiercely at the new bruises on Ollie’s face, his heart hurting. “You don’t deserve to be punished, okay? Not this bad. Never this bad.”
Olivier bowed his head. “Really?”
“Yeah. That’s how much you matter to me.” Eric stroked the bonding mark on his neck. “Promise me, Ollie. You won’t ever hurt yourself, and you won’t ask anyone to hurt you again.”
Ollie sucked in a shaky breath. “You’re going to accept me? Just like that?”
“Yeah,” Eric said. “Just like that.”
“But you’re still disowned. And... And I can never be as good as Alice,” Olivier mumbled.
Eric sighed, pressing their foreheads together. “I told you, don’t compare yourself to Alice.”
“She was your best friend.”
“You’re my best friend now,” Eric said. “Or at least, I’d love for you to be my best friend again.”
Olivier breathed in sharply, his eyes growing wide. “Really?”
“Really.”
“I stink of piss.”
“Yeah, so my best friend stinks of piss,” Eric said dryly. “I don’t care.”
And the faintest, wobbly smile curved Olivier’s lips. Eric’s heart skipped.
“So promise me,” Eric said. “No more hurting yourself.”
Ollie met Eric’s gaze, uncertain. But Eric wasn’t moving, and Ollie seemed to realize Eric wouldn’t desert him. In a soft voice, Ollie whispered, “I promise.”
“Good.” Eric kissed his forehead, the tightness in his chest easing. Maybe Ollie might lie again, but Eric was going to keep an eye on him this time. Make sure he didn’t run off and do crap like this to himself anymore.
“I—I didn’t mean what I said,” Olivier mumbled. “About your mom and Alice.”
Yeah, Eric wasn’t surprised at that now. “As long as you don’t say it again.”
Olivier hesitated. “I promise I won’t.”
Eric kissed his forehead. And there was the Olivier he knew. The Ollie that Eric wanted to have by his side.
“About Alice,” Eric said. Ollie tensed, but Eric continued to hold him. “I’ll always be sorry that she died. But you know what? I can’t be sorry about finding you again. For coming back to Meadowfall to discover that you’ve been here all along. Just—just waiting. For me.”
It felt a little presumptuous, saying that.
But Ollie wasn’t pulling away, he wasn’t denying it. And maybe he was still waiting for Eric.
Hope fluttered in Eric’s chest. “I think Alice will be happy if you treat Jenn the same as you have been. Jenn likes you. She’s been asking where you’ve gone.”
Ollie’s mouth fell open. “I... I didn’t mean to hurt her that time. I tripped and... I didn’t mean it, I promise. Is she okay?”
Eric sighed. “Yeah, she’s fine. I overreacted that day. It was a lot going on at that time, but I still shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Olivier said quietly. “I pushed you away.”
“You did, you asshole.” When Ollie flinched, Eric cupped Ollie’s face, looking into his eyes. “But the point is, I don’t want you to leave, okay? No matter how tough things get, I want to stay by your side. I don’t want you pushing me away.
