Kai flushed. Micah blushed harder.
It figured, that the moment Kai left Spike to his own devices, Spike would go and spill all of his secrets.
Micah looked hesitantly at Kai. “Well... Spike’s told me about you before. I already knew.”
Kai wanted to murder his brother.
Spike looked at them both with a fond smile. “Gods, I love the both of you.”
Kai’s heart stuttered then; Micah sucked in a sharp breath.
Kai wasn’t sure if either of them was ready to answer that—Micah had only known Spike for three weeks at this point. And Kai...
Spike’s gaze drifted from Micah to Kai, lingering on him, half-hopeful, half-afraid. He’d said I love you to Kai once, and Kai had chickened out and rejected him then.
Kai wet his lips, his pulse thumping. If he said no, Spike would crash. Kai couldn’t bear to let him, not when he cared for Spike, not when he knew how much this meant to Spike.
And Spike meant more to Kai than Kai could ever put any words to.
Ever since their parents married, Spike had always been by Kai’s side. He’d offered Kai his body, he’d asked their mom for cookies on both his behalf and Kai’s. They’d attended classes together, and for years now, it had felt as though Kai and Spike weren’t separate people, but an us.
But how much of liking a person was ‘like’, and when did it become love? When did brotherly love turn into something more?
Kai wet his lips, suddenly nervous. What do I say? “I—I feel something. For you.”
It was awkward. And hope blossomed in Spike’s gaze. “For me?”
“Yeah,” Kai said thickly, his heart pounding. This was permanent, admitting what he felt. He couldn’t go back on his word after this.
Spike’s smile grew. “Do you feel enough to—to kiss me?”
A flush rose through his cheeks. Spike glanced away, then back at Kai, and Kai felt his brother’s fear and embarrassment.
Kai imagined meeting Spike’s lips with his own, and a part of him yearned.
He glanced at Micah, only to find the professor watching them with a half-smile. What if that future includes Spike? Micah had asked. What if a great career doesn’t compare to a life with him?
Kai didn’t have an answer to that. But maybe... he could kiss Spike, and figure this out along the way.
“Yeah, I do,” Kai breathed. “But I don’t know how to do this relationship thing.”
Spike brightened. He sat up, his gaze raking hungrily over Kai’s face. Then he reached for Kai and paused, his breathing fast and shallow.
“If you really want to kiss me, you’ll have to do it,” Spike whispered, his voice shaking with how much he wanted this. Kai’s heart thumped for him.
He reached for Spike, sliding his fingers against Spike’s nape. Then he pulled his brother forward, and slanted his mouth against Spike’s.
Spike’s lips were soft, damp. Kai had kissed him a couple hundred times, probably more. But none of those times had been about him and Spike. They’d been about sex, or they’d been about practicing for Spike’s kisses with Micah, or that one time in the car... Kai had done it to comfort his brother.
And now that Kai wasn’t pretending to be Micah, now that he wasn’t kissing Spike to make him groan, now that this wasn’t about anything but romance, Kai... didn’t know what to do. What part of this kiss was really him, and what part was left over from how he had imagined Micah Davis would kiss?
Spike chuckled, his breath a warm puff of air. “Are you thinking too much about this kiss?”
Kai snorted. “You can tell?”
“You were like that at first with the kisses,” Spike murmured against his lips. “Remember? I asked you to kiss me for practice, and you just froze up because you didn’t know what to do.”
Kai swallowed, glancing sidelong at Micah. Micah’s smile had turned fond.
Spike cupped Kai’s cheeks, dragging his teeth over Kai’s lower lip. “I don’t care how you kiss me, Kai. I just want to know that you care about me in—in this way.”
Kai gulped. How he felt about Spike... it was complicated.
Don’t you do anything filthy under my roof, Dad had said. If I catch you fucking your brother one more time...
This wasn’t the old apartment.
Kai closed his eyes, sliding his fingers into Spike’s hair. He dragged his lips experimentally over Spike’s, just remembering him. Then he slipped his tongue into Spike’s mouth, tasting coffee and soda, tangling his tongue with Spike’s. Just so Spike would feel how much Kai cared.
Spike sighed against him, smelling like juniper and rain. He smelled like musk, and onions and taco plates from that restaurant he’d been working at. Because he wanted to pay for the baby they’d given Micah.
This was the boy Kai had grown up with. This was the alpha who’d had Kai’s back wherever they went. This was the man who’d kissed Kai’s knee and fucked into him, and his eyes had glowed so bright, Kai had thought Spike was insane.
Something in Kai’s heart cracked open.
In that well of emotions, he found something intense, something that said Spike is mine, something that made him want to hold Spike, and never let go. And the moment those feelings washed over Kai, he knew he could never lock them back into that hidden place in his heart again.
Had those feelings always been there? Had he... felt them for Spike, but refused to acknowledge them until now?
“You’re crazy,” Kai whispered, Spike’s rumble reverberating through his bones. “But I think I love you.”
His heart stopped, saying that.
Spike sucked in a sharp breath, breaking the kiss. He pulled away and stared into Kai’s eyes. “No way.”
“Do you want it, or not?” Kai asked. I love Spike, he thought to himself, and the words sat comfortably in his chest, like they were always meant to be there.
A rosy flush bloomed through Spike’s face. His eyes grew glitter-bright, and he blinked
