I step out of the car and slam the door. I know Julius heard me loud and clear, and that’s all I wanted. I don’t know another way to make the importance of being smart more known. Of course I feel bad for the blonde, but he can’t expect us to go in there alone, guns blazing, and not get fucking killed.
When I make it to the bouncer, he lifts the velvet rope and steps to the side. Even if we haven’t been here in a while, it’s nice to know the people here remember us. I push past him and go straight to the bar. Normally, I’d immediately go upstairs, not even bothering to stop here, but shit is different now.
I shake the thoughts away, then look to the bartender. “Whiskey on the rocks.” He nods and walks to the other side of the bar.
As I wait, I look around the place. It isn’t crowded, so I’m able to see so many things I somehow missed before. The dance floor in the center is practically bare, but the booths lining the wall are filled with partygoers sipping their drinks and bobbing their head to the music. As I study all of their different faces, I’m filled with envy.
Envy because I know no matter what, I will never be able to live a carefree life like them and actually enjoy a night out without having to watch my back because there is a target on it.
Not unless I can convince Charlie to leave once all of this is over…
I’m snapped back to reality when the bartender returns and sets my drink in front of me. “Here you go, Mr. Hale.”
I give him a nod as I take my first sip. “Keep them coming. If my glass is empty, I’m not happy.”
He nods, then steps away as I drink. Then drink some more, and then drink some more.
I’ve tried to push Lucas’s words out of my head all morning because I’m sure he didn’t intend for me to hear what he said. But over and over, they play on repeat in my mind. I was asleep, but the nightmare came just like it does almost every night. I was going to get up, try and clear my head, but when my door opened, something told me it was Lucas.
I have feelings for Lucas, more that have grown just over the past few months, but I don’t want to take that leap and be burned again. Lucas is exactly like Teddy in a lot of ways. He’s arrogant, cocky, and ruthless when it comes to things he wants. I never thought Teddy would ever do what he did to me. I thought in a way my love could change him, mold him, and I was wrong. I’m not sure if I want to take that chance with Lucas.
I’d rather love him silently and secretly before making the same mistake I did before.
I leave my room and walk into the empty living area. All of the boys left last night after Lucas basically confessed love to me and haven’t been back since. I didn’t bother calling them because I’m not sure I even want to face Lucas at this point.
I’m too ashamed to admit I love him, but I’m too ashamed to say I don’t too. I don’t see the point in dragging him along.
I pace the floor, wondering if maybe now is the time to start worrying, but just as the crazy unlikely scenarios start playing in my mind, the front door opens and Carl steps in.
“Where have you been? I have an appointment at four, and I was getting worried.”
Before he can answer, Julius breaks the threshold with Lucas tucked into his side. “Where can I put him? He’ll be fucked for a few hours at least.” He seems annoyed and angry, but I don’t ask why.
I’ve learned when it comes to the two of them, it’s better to let them work it out alone. They function on their own wavelength together. When they are in the middle of something together, their walls are impenetrable.
I can practically smell the booze on his breath from where I’m standing. I run my hand over my forehead and curse Carl and Julius both in my head for even letting this happen. “Just throw him on my bed I guess.”
As Julius pulls him further inside, then makes his way to my room, I look back to Carl. “What the fuck, Carl?”
“I’m sorry” is all he says.
“You’re sorry? Just a few months ago you were upset because he was the exact same way, and now you’re fucking enabling it?”
“I didn’t really have a choice, Charlie.”
“What does that even mean? Where have you all been?”
“We went to the casino to see if we could find more shit to offer Sebastian. The boys snuck in when we saw Emil leave and went down to the basement.”
My heart sinks when he says they went to the basement. “What did they see?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. Just know it was bad enough for Lucas to want to hit Red Eye afterwards. And Julius brought up their dad. There was no stopping him.”
I release a breath and nod. I don’t know much about their dad, but I remember Julius giving me a little bit. How he used to be terrible to not only them but their mother too. How they killed him. My heart breaks for them both with just the thought. I couldn’t imagine having to live it.
But then my mind clings to where he was. Red Eye. The last time he was there, he had a bitch slobbering all over his dick. The mental image makes me angry even though I know I have no right. How can I be jealous when I’m the one holding back?
“I’ll deal with him. Run and grab some aspirin, water, and greasy food.
