As I drive back to the cabin from the casino, thoughts I try to keep at bay start to invade my mind. Where are the other girls? The other victims? Every woman I’ve seen looked to be enjoying themselves. All of them other than Cat, which makes me think of my mother.
It’s probably fucked-up I associate a woman who makes me feel a certain way with my mother, or maybe that’s the thing. For years I watched my dad hit my mom, rape her, break her down mentally and physically, so now when I see it, I don’t care about anything other than putting a stop to it.
When I saw the picture of Cat in the file, all I could picture was what my dad did to my mom. Sure, my mom would never be classified as mother of the year. She spent more time trying to please our father than actually taking care of us, but I can’t blame her. Regardless she was still our mom, and because of that we loved her. She held a certain spot in our hearts even if she was never much of an actual motherly figure.
When Dad would rape her or beat her, we would take care of her. I can’t help but to think if he weren’t so terrible to her, we would have been brought up better. She would have done normal shit with us like sign us up for sports, come to all of our games, been our biggest fan, or whatever other normal shit parents and kids do. But she didn’t. Because of the bullshit my dad did, he robbed us of an actual mother, turning us into her caretakers instead.
I try and silence my thoughts as I pull into the cabin drive. I need to be clearheaded when I talk to Lucas and try and make him understand why this is so important, and I don’t care if I have to use the love of our dead mother to do it.
The door opens and Julius enters with a look of condemnation covering his features. Lucas stands from his spot on the couch beside me and starts closing the gap between them. “What did you do, Jules?”
Julius lets out a breath, then crosses his arms and sucks his teeth. “I went back.”
“To the casino?” I ask, standing to join them.
“I saw her.” He doesn’t answer my question, but he doesn’t need to.
“What the fuck. What if someone saw you?” Lucas practically yells.
“I wasn’t seen, okay? And even if I was, what’s the big deal?”
“Are you fucking stupid?” Lucas asks, jabbing his finger into Julius’s temple. “We can’t risk shit right now. We can’t be reckless. We have to wait for Sebastian to make his move before we do anything.”
Julius pushes Lucas away with enough force that he bumps into me. “You know—” He lets out a sinister laugh as he runs his hands through his hair. “Mom would be on my side. She would fucking help me.”
“Don’t bring her into this,” Lucas hisses.
“Why? Because you know I’m right,” Julius bites back.
“No, because I couldn’t give a fuck less what she would think. She wasn’t a fucking mother, and you know it. So, why should her opinion matter?”
“Pretty fucked-up.” He shakes his head.
“Because it’s true?” Lucas asks.
Suddenly I feel the need to walk away. Like I’m interrupting a conversation they need to have alone.
“I’m going to go.” I point behind me to my door and start to walk away.
“No,” Julius calls behind me. “You claim to be a fucking queen, so be one. Do the right fucking thing, Charlie.”
I turn to face him, but before I can say anything, Lucas speaks. “Don’t talk to her that way,” he warns.
“Or what?” Julius waits for a reply, but it doesn’t come, so he continues. “When Teddy raped her, I didn’t even question shit. I followed you and did what had to be done to show him he fucked up. I wanted to kill him, but you stopped me.” He looks to me. “No fucking offense, but why is it you matter so goddamn much and Cat doesn’t?”
“Watch it, Jules,” Lucas warns again, stepping closer to him.
“Fuck you, brother. My respect for you is down to nothing since you want to turn your back on something so fucking important.”
“No one said it wasn’t important, Julius. We just need to think things through—” I start before he cuts me off.
“So now you’re wanting to plan things, to make sure shit is perfect? Maybe you should have thought about that before and Teddy would still be alive. We wouldn’t be in this fucking position to begin with.”
My mouth falls open as my heart starts to break. How could someone who was so fucking sweet, so fucking caring, turn into such an asshole. I’m about to question it out loud, but I snap my mouth shut. What’s the point? I knew these boys were just like Teddy. I shouldn’t be surprised.
“Fuck you,” I whisper as my eyes start to water.
Lucas looks to me, and it seems to fuel him forward. Before I can stop him, his fist flies into Julius’s jaw. “I told you to watch it!” he yells.
Julius raises his head with blood oozing from his mouth. “Too bad I don’t like to fucking listen,” he says through clenched teeth.
Everything that happens next almost moves in slow motion. Lucas tackles Julius, and they both fall to the ground. For a moment they roll around, fighting for dominance, all while throwing punches. My hands start to shake as I try and scream over all of the noise they’re making, trying to tell them to stop.
“Lucas!” I try, grabbing his shoulder and pulling as hard as I can, but he doesn’t budge.
Julius flips him and gets back
