Michelle blinked mesmerized by the hot longing clearly evident in Josh’s gaze. The wash of desire that swept through surprised her. She wanted to say yes, but her innate caution held her back.
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea to get involved that way.”
“Aren’t you tempted the least little bit?”
She sighed and leaned against him. “I never stop thinking about it,” she confessed.
“Me, too,” he said and kissed her, his mouth capturing hers in a manner designed to drive her out of her mind. Her heart kicked in double time and the world seemed to spin out of control.
“Josh, stop!” She pushed back and stood up, breathing hard. Staring at him Michelle knew she’d like nothing more than to fling herself into his arms and never have him stop kissing her.
But was she ready for a fling? Didn’t she want more than just physical pleasure? She wanted caring and affection. Love.
“Now what?” he asked, leaning back in his chair and tucking his fingers in the pockets of his trousers. His expression was impassive, giving nothing away.
She tried to gather her thoughts. “Nothing’s changed. We agreed to marry so you’d look for my father while I provide child care for Penny. Now you want to change the rules. That’s not fair.”
“It’s perfectly fair if we both agree. You just said you never stop thinking about it.”
“But that doesn’t mean I want to...to give into...”
Josh came to his feet. “Say what you mean, Michelle.”
She shook her head. She wasn’t sure she knew what she meant. Maybe it would be better if he thought she was rejecting him. She only had so much willpower and he tested it every time he came near her.
“I get the picture,” he said coolly. “I won’t trouble you again.”
With that he strode from the room.
Michelle watched him leave, heard his steps on the stairs.
“Great job, Michelle. Now you’ve really done it.”
Slowly she took his plates to the sink and rinsed them. How could she tell him the truth? He’d suspect she was angling for just what she was trying to avoid. Yet she hated him thinking she didn’t want him.
Still they had no future together. Hadn’t he made it clear he wasn’t interested in a permanent relationship again? She wasn’t sure what had happened in his first marriage, but whatever it had been sure made him wary around women. It had taken him two days after she made her outlandish offer before he could bring himself to accept—and she knew he’d only done so for Penny.
Nothing had changed.
Sighing softly, she turned off the light and went up to bed. But sleep was a long time coming.
Caroline called Michelle at work on Friday morning.
“Hi, I won’t talk long, just wondered if you’ve spoken with Josh yet?”
“Yes. He said he appreciated the invitation. I meant to call you back. Sorry, I got busy,” Michelle said slowly.
“No problem. We thought we’d stop by today and pick her up. That’ll give you an extra night. And you could sleep in late two mornings in a row. I bet that sounds like heaven, right?”
Michelle gripped the receiver. Great, she'd have two nights with Josh’s cool and distant attitude instead of one and with no Penny there to act as a buffer. Yet she couldn’t say anything to Caroline without worrying her.
“Are you sure this won’t be too much for you? I thought you were supposed to take things easy?”
“Don’t be a worrywart. I’m fine. And Penny’s a doll. We plan to go to the park and then rent some Disney videos and make popcorn. She’ll have a ball.”
“Ummm.” Lucky Penny.
“Something wrong?”
“Nothing!” Michelle answered immediately. “When did you want her to be ready?” She saw no way to avoid the visit. No way to avoid being alone with Josh for two whole days.
“We’ll stop by at six. That’ll give you time to get home and pack a few things for her, won’t it?”
“Yes. That’ll work well. See you then.”
As she hung up the phone, Michelle wondered if she could insist Penny return early Sunday morning.
No, that would defeat Caroline’s gesture.
Sighing, she was beginning to wish she’d never gotten into such a tangle. She wanted to know about her father, but wondered if the price was going to prove too high.
That evening after Penny left with Caroline and Brandon, Michelle busied herself preparing the grill she’d found in Josh’s garage. She’d much rather barbecue outside than be confined in the small kitchen alone with Josh. Especially after last night.
She had the coals glowing and a fruit salad prepared when he came home. He had a stack of folders in a large case. Obviously he, too, planned to keep things businesslike.
Michelle explained that Penny had already left and would be home sometime Sunday afternoon. Josh nodded and headed for the living room, asking her to call him when dinner was ready.
Perversely, she missed the companionship they’d shared during the past two weeks while she prepared dinner. She’d deliberately set up dinner just this way, and now regretted it.
She missed Penny’s chatter as well. It was lonely and quiet in the back yard with only herself for company.
“Better get used to it, girl,” she muttered as she rotated the chicken on the grill. As soon as their mock marriage ended, she’d be alone again.
Michelle wondered if she would ever find anyone to love, to build a life with.
Someone with a quick mind, a bit unconventional, who could kiss like every fantasy ever invented.
Someone like Josh.
Ruthlessly squelching her thoughts, she speared a drumstick, and lifted it to the platter. Time to eat and stop thinking.
Not thinking was easier said than done, Michelle admitted later that evening.
Dinner had been quick and impersonal. Josh ate, left the table and resumed the work he’d brought home. It didn’t take long to clean the plates.
Then Michelle was at a loose end.
In the past she might have called a friend or one of her sisters, but anyone she called
