“I’m sorry, Josh. She fell on the playground.”
“This kind of thing happens with kids, honey. Not your fault. How are you doing? You’re as pale as a ghost.”
“I’m fine. Do you suppose they weren’t watching her closely enough at the day care?”
“No, what I think is this is just one of a long line of accidents we’re likely to face as she grows up. I had my share of visits to the emergency room and doctor’s office as a kid, didn’t you?”
Michelle shook her head.
Josh tightened his grip. “Well, if your grandmother hadn’t constrained you so much you would have! Are we ready to go?” He looked at the doctor.
The man wrote a prescription, ripped the sheet off the pad and held it out. “Get this filled and give a tablet to Penny if she complains about headaches. Otherwise, keep her quiet for a day or two. She'll be fine. Have her regular doctor see her in a week. The stitches will be ready to come out by then.”
“Thanks.”
Michelle reluctantly turned from the comfort of Josh’s embrace and tried to smile at the young doctor. But her heart sank as she followed Josh. Adrenaline let-down, she tried to tell herself as they left the hospital.
They headed for Josh’s car. He spoke softly to Penny as she rested her head against his shoulder.
Michelle felt totally helpless. And guilty. Maybe the child care situation at her work wasn’t safe. Had she put Penny in danger by offering that solution to Josh?
Once settled in the car, Josh glanced at her as he started the engine. “You okay?”
She nodded. “I was so scared.”
“Yeah, so was I the first couple of times.”
Michelle swung her head around to stare at him in startled surprise. “The first couple of times?’’
He pulled out of the parking lot and merged with the flow of traffic.
“Adventuresome kids get into trouble. Fact of life. But when she first came to live with me, I didn’t know it. She skinned her knees when she was trying to race one of the kids in the neighborhood. I wanted to forbid her to ever set foot out of her room—at least until she was thirty or something. To keep her safe, you know?”
Michelle nodded.
“But that’s unrealistic. Joanne at work, who’s the mother of three boys, set me straight. When Penny’s finger was smashed by a neighbor’s child dropping a rock on it, I was able to handle it much better. But I have to tell you, you never get completely complacent about it.”
“She's so little. Maybe she shouldn’t go on slides yet. Do you think the day care is a mistake? Maybe I should stay home and watch her.”
He flicked her a quick look.
“No, you don’t. She’s fine at day care. She loves playing with the other children. Think how much she talks about them at dinner every night. She’ll be fine, Michelle.”
Checking on Penny, Michelle blinked away tears. The little girl looked so small in the car seat. The bandage was a stark white on her head. Dirt and blood stained her clothes. She was fast asleep.
“Hey,” Josh reached out to take Michelle’s hand. “She’ll be fine. Welcome to the world of parenting.”
“I think you should reconsider your idea of keeping her in her room until she’s thirty. Sounds pretty good to me.”
He chuckled and squeezed gently. “You’ll toughen up.”
Michelle doubted it. Even if she had time. But in all likelihood she’d be gone from their lives before the next mishap occurred.
Despite being scared to death when she ran into that day care center this afternoon, Michelle knew she’d miss being a part of Penny’s life—no matter what happened.
The warmth from Josh’s hand began to seep into her. He had the ability to make her forget everything. She wondered how far along he’d gotten in his search for her father. If it took forever, that’d probably suit her.
What if he never found him?
Instead of the old familiar frustration at not knowing more about her father, Michelle began to imagine he was lost forever. And she’d stay with Josh until they were both old and gray. Every few months he’d come home and tell her that he still had no clues. She’d have to pretend to care. But the truth was, the quest had taken a backseat to what was important to her now.
She still felt shaky. Maybe her emotions were too suspect. She couldn’t be falling in love with Josh.
When they reached the house, Josh scooped Penny up and carried her inside.
“I’ll give her a bath and put her down for a nap,” he said as Michelle unlocked the front door.
“I can help.”
“No need. You’ll want to get cleaned up yourself. I can manage.” He strode up the stairs, carrying his daughter as if she weighed nothing.
Michelle watched them, once again feeling left out. Was she always going to be on the outside looking in?
She went to her room to don a cool dress and slip into sandals. She felt exhausted. Hearing their laughter reassured her as nothing else had. Penny would be all right.
But would she?
Michelle peeked into the door to Penny’s room, watching silently as Josh rocked Penny in his arms. He was so big and the little girl looked particularly small when cradled in her daddy’s arms. Love blossomed in Michelle’s heart as she studied the two of them. There was something special about a strong man holding a child so tenderly.
“Is she all right?” she asked when Josh noticed her in the doorway.
“Almost asleep,” he said.
Penny smiled sleepily at Michelle.
It was at that moment Michelle realized she couldn’t love Penny any more if she were her own child. Raising her gaze to Josh, she knew without a doubt she loved them both.
“I’ll start dinner,” she said and turned to flee.
If only she could outrun her emotions.
“Dumb move, Michelle,” she said a few minutes later as she drew the meat from the refrigerator. “Josh’s made it clear more than once that he’s not in this for
