“Why me?” I finally put a voice to the feelings inside me.
“Why not you?”
“Because I’m the enemy,” I point out in exasperation. Put like that, none of this makes sense. “Because you took one look at me and you decided then and there that you wanted me—”
“We discussed this.”
I don’t know where they come from, but the words just tear loose. “And maybe you weren’t convincing enough.”
The second they’re out, I want them back.
But Thiago merely props one hand under the back of his neck, so his face tilts enough that he can see me. He sighs. “Do you want to hear a story?”
“Only if it has some means of explaining this.”
“It does—only you don’t believe in fate.”
I eye him dubiously. “I thought that was only a line you used to seduce me.”
He shakes his head. “I never lie, Vi.”
“Then tell me your story.”
“Five hundred years ago, I was in… a bad place. I had done something so foolish that I could never take it back again, and I knew that come morning, I would have to face my daemons.”
“What did you do that was so bad?”
Our eyes meet.
And rage smolders to life in his eyes. “I intended to kill my father. I worked my way into a position where I would be able to murder him. I thought I was finally strong enough to do so, and I was waiting for him in an ambush, the knife in my hand… when I finally laid eyes on him.” He brushes his fingers against my thigh. “I knew in an instant I had made a mistake. My father is a monster. He was centuries older than me at the stage. Warped by Darkness. Twisted. And I hesitated just long enough that he passed my ambush and all I could do was sit in the snow and shake.
“I returned to the nearest city, furious with myself for wasting my chance. Even if I couldn’t kill him, I needed to confront him. I yearned for it so badly I barely ate. Barely slept. My friend, Cian, tried to talk sense into me but I was lost to his words.” He shudders. “Cian told me I was becoming exactly what I hated so much. I was slowly losing myself to the same Darkness. If I didn’t give up this course then it would consume me.” Thiago’s eyes darken. “I hit him. I didn’t want to listen. I hit him until he stopped talking and then I walked into those streets, blindly. I was no longer in control of myself. I was exactly what he said I’d become. I was my father. And when I looked into the nearest shop window, all I could see was that bastard staring back at me from the reflection.”
I can barely breathe as I trace small circles on his chest. “What happened?”
“It frightened me so much I fled to the nearest temple of Maia. I was begging, desperate, on my knees in the middle of Her courtyard. Show me the light, I said. Give me a single sign this rage will end. Give me a shred of hope. Tell me I’m not a monster.
“Lightning flashed. And there you were.” His lashes shield his eyes. “Staring back at me from the waters of the Pool of Serenity. You glanced back over your shoulder and smiled at me, and I knew you would be mine. One day. All I had to do was wait for you to come and find me. And every time I found myself lost in the Darkness, I would close my eyes and think of your face. Of your smile. And I would know hope.”
He opens his eyes, seeing the shock in mine.
And he smiles.
“Of course I came for you the second I saw you dancing. How could I resist my salvation, Vi? How could I turn away from Fate? I was made for you, and you were made for me. I recognized you the moment I saw you.”
I suck in a slow breath. Of all the things I ever expected, it was not a confession like this.
It places an incredible amount of pressure on me.
But it also feels tremulously like there’s finally a place for me.
I will never be alone again.
Thiago kisses my forehead and draws me into his arms. “I just needed to wait until you were finally born.”
“How did you find your way to Evernight?”
“Another story. A longer story.” His voice roughens. “I wanted a home. I wanted… something for myself. Something nobody could ever take from me. And so I took it. I claimed the throne. I became the Prince of Evernight. And I crushed any and all who opposed me.”
There’s a long silence. I’ve heard it all before, of course—bastard-born prince; traitor; ambitious, murderous male—but I’ve never heard it from his own lips.
“I still want it all.” There’s a hunger in his voice. “I have the people who have become my family. I have a castle, a fucking kingdom, a throne. It’s not enough. It was never enough. I want a wife. I want a family. I want to be normal—”
“Normal?” There’s something about that one word that captures my attention.
He stills. It’s a cool, controlled tension—so different from my mother’s—as if he locks it all down inside him, and breathes it out through his lungs. “There’s a darkness inside me, Vi. One I’ve fought against every day of my life.” A tiny little shudder runs through him, almost imperceptible. If I wasn’t pressed up against him like this, I would have missed it. He looks into my eyes and his thumb brushes against my lips. “I’d be lying if I said it didn’t scare me. I’d be lying if I told you it was locked away inside me, guarded by walls so thick it will never escape.” His voice roughens as his vision goes distant. “There are cracks in those walls. Sometimes the shadows slip through. Sometimes they whisper to me. I can feel it calling to me. I can
