Wouldn’t you enjoy seeing Elementa? she asked.
With the human male? After I torch him, sure.
What would it hurt to accept him?
The fact that I will kill him at the first opportunity is the only thing preventing you from abandoning your duty.
I would never renege on protecting the Eternal Fyre! she snapped. To her detriment, she had put duty before personal satisfaction with one exception—when she’d killed those who’d taken her daughter. And she’d paid for the act with the sacrifice of her dreams, her desires, her freedom.
Fool yourself, but you cannot fool me. Your deepest desire is not service.
There is no temple right now. Why should she not be relieved of her responsibilities like the others?
We are the temple. The sacred fyre burns within us.
She wasn’t invincible but near to it. Even in woman form, she could conjure fire from air or expel it from her being. With a flick of her finger, she could kill. Should she require reinforcements, she had the fealty of every single dragon. They feared her, but there wasn’t one who wouldn’t give his life for her. Not that she needed them to. She and the dragoness had an army’s strength, stamina, and firepower.
All of which rendered her near untouchable.
In more ways than one. Other than Rhianna and Helena who’d embraced her, and H’ry, who’d kissed her, no one had a laid a finger on her in thousands of years.
Perhaps if you sought a concubine, you would not be so tempted, the dragoness suggested.
That is unprecedented.
But not forbidden. Why do you prefer to flirt with danger?
Because it wasn’t physical release she sought—but peace, contentment, belonging. In H’ry’s arms those needs had been soothed—and contrarily heightened.
Feeding her desires had increased them.
To kill a craving, you had to starve it. Thus, the intent and purpose of cloistering—to separate oneself from bodily pleasures and secular pursuits. Perhaps she had erred in granting the acolytes a taste of independence. Look what it had done to her. Somehow though, she sensed they would handle the freedom better than she had.
Unworthy. Why had the Eternal Fyre chosen her?
H’ry had kept to his promise not to seek her out. He had to be aware of the desecration, and that she’d moved into T’mar’s palace. Helena would have kept him informed. Obviously his feelings hadn’t run as deep as hers. Perhaps he has forgotten me already. Perhaps I was only a novelty to him.
The dragoness was right. H’ry posed a danger to her peace of mind no one else did. He caused her to burn with want, to crave his company, to long for the impossible. This obsession had to end here. There would be no more nighttime visits. She would not come again.
Turning away from temptation, she fled for the safety of her chambers.
Chapter Seventeen
“Dim overheads and perimeter lights to 25 percent,” Henry ordered the room. It wasn’t moonlight but close enough.
He stripped to the altogether, tossed his pants and shirt onto a waiting chair, lowered himself into the waist-high dark water, and began a competition-speed race down the length. He made little splash, cutting through the water with fast, precise strokes. If he could tire himself out, he might be able to fall asleep again.
He’d completed two lengths and had started on the third when the sensation of being watched crawled over him. He raised his head and sucked in a mouthful of water. O’ne stood next to his clothes.
He dropped his feet to the bottom and stood up. Why had she come? Why now when he’d gotten himself under control? Okay, not really. But he would have, and this visit would result in a setback.
His gaze roved over her alabaster-smooth face and then followed the braid of white-white hair down to a coil at her feet where bare toes peeked from beneath the hem of her gown. Seeing her like this, he could forget she was a near-deity, perhaps a full goddess. He saw flesh and blood woman, and, when he raised his gaze to her face again, the longing in her amber eyes dashed any hope of doing the smart thing and sending her away. He wouldn’t be able to deny her anything. Whatever she offered, he’d take. Whatever she asked for, he’d give.
“I, uh, heard about the temple. I’m sorry,” he said.
She clasped her hands in front of her. “I thought you’d come see me.”
“You asked me not to.”
“I hoped you’d break your promise.”
He’d teetered on the verge many times. “I’m kind of on lockdown, and I didn’t know how to find you.”
“I’m staying on the far side of the palace.”
Had he known, nothing could have kept him away. Not even his promise.
She canted her head, her eyes quizzical. “Helena didn’t tell you?”
“I forbid her to talk about you.”
She had prohibited her from mentioning his name, but his words hurt, and she flinched. “My apologies, then, for disturbing you. I shouldn’t have come. It won’t happen again. Please, continue with your swim.” She rushed for the exit.
Let her go. Let her go. “O’ne! Wait!” He started to leap out of the pool then realized he was naked.
The wall melted away. In two seconds, she would be gone.
“I wouldn’t let Helena talk about you because it hurt too much. I missed you too much,” he said.
She halted.
“Stay. Please.” Why torture himself like this? It would be best for both of them if she left.
His breath caught in his lungs when she didn’t respond, didn’t speak, didn’t look at him. Then her shoulders slumped. “I missed you, too.” She turned around. “I tried to stay away, but I couldn’t.”
She raised her hands and then let them fall. “But nothing has changed. I can’t offer you anything. Construction of
