Things went wrong and you lost people you love.
Life would not always bend to your will like a derby team. Life wasn’t coaching, it was living. Surrendering to what went wrong so you could fall in the love with the moments that went so right.
Lilith was right here. Every minute he stayed away was a moment wasted. A moment I wish I could have back with my mother.
I squeezed Lilith’s hand. “Sit tight for just a minute, I’m going to get your brother.”
“This is going to mess with your practice.”
“Don’t worry about our practice. The baby’s more important.”
She let out a short laugh. “He’s running you ragged, huh?”
“That too, but we asked for it. Sit tight.” I ran to the barn, every gasp of air burning my throat. Skidding to a stop at the threshold, I stuck two fingers in my mouth and let out a whistle that had everyone turning to the door.
Priest glowered at me and jabbed a finger at the track. “Get your ass on the bank,” he snapped before turning his back on me.
“You’ve gotta come down to the house.” I gasped out the words and at the sound of my tone his face snapped up. “It’s your sister.”
His notes hit the floor. In seconds he went from skates to boots and tore out the door past me.
“Where is she?” he yelled over his shoulder as he ran down the hill.
“Bathroom. I found her in there stuck on her knees. She thinks she was there for about thirty minutes.”
“Is she—”
“Her water didn’t break and she doesn’t think she’s having contractions.”
“Good. That’s good.”
The cold air sliced in and out of me as I kept pace next to him, trying not to fall on my ass despite the sand tossed down the path. “She didn’t have her phone on her. I didn’t have mine on me either, so I didn’t call 9-1-1.”
“It’s okay. I’ll take her in. It’ll be faster.”
“EMTs have medical training. Maybe—”
“I have medical training. I’m a cop,” he said, cutting me off. He ran over the threshold, slid around the corner, and stopped in front of the bathroom.
“Sorry,” Lilith gasped out when she looked up at her brother. “Bad timing.”
He crouched down in front of her and smoothed her hair back from her face. The smile he gave her—I—God, he should smile more often. It changed something in Lilith the minute he did. “Don’t apologize. That’s why I’m here.”
Clenched and tense until that point, Lilith released a breath and took in another deep one behind it, the strain bracketing her mouth softening.
“Something’s not right, Cain. The pain—it’s too early. If he’s born now, his lungs—”
“Shhh, one thing at a time.” He cupped her head and kept her focused on him. “Hospital first. We don’t worry until there’s something to worry about.” Taking her hand, he got her to her feet and guided her just outside the bathroom before scooping her up and tucking her against his chest.
Her arms went around his neck and her head landed on his shoulder, the tears falling freely now. “I’m scared.”
“I know you are, but I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”
But the words weren’t really true, were they? Because he’d leave.
I held the door and followed him outside to open the passenger door of the truck.
“Thanks,” he said, sliding his sister onto the front seat, buckling her in, and closing the door. “Keep going. I’ll let you know what’s happening as soon as I know.”
“I’m sending them home. You don’t need to be worrying about us up here.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Take care of Lilith. I’ve got this.”
“Thank you,” he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
I closed my eyes, tried not to read too much into it, and took a step back. “No kissing rule. Now go.”
19
She thinks she was there for about thirty minutes.
Mayhem’s words haunted me from the minute medics wheeled Lilith into the back.
My sister was stuck on her knees on the goddamned bathroom floor for half an hour and I had no clue. All while I was in the barn training, barking orders, trying to figure out what the fuck has happened to the chemistry on the track because something was off.
No phone on me. No phone on Lilith. Fuck.
Shit needed to change. My sister came first. She had to come first.
I stared out the wall of windows into the darkness, looking for answers as to how to split my time between two commitments. Answers, the pesky little bastards, they just didn’t want to come.
She’d been in with the doctors for almost an hour now. An hour and no word.
For the thousandth time I kicked myself for not trying hard enough to convince her to come to Boston and stay with me near some of the best hospitals in the country. Not that Bay Medical Center was bad. Just limited. They didn’t even have a twenty-four-hour anesthesiologist on staff, ruling out something as common as an epidural if she decided she wanted one.
I wanted Lilith to have everything. Every damn thing.
The emergency department waiting room hadn’t changed a whole hell of a lot since I was kid. The same metal framed chairs with blue vinyl. The same cherry wood end tables and chunky white lamps.
Hell, probably the same magazines.
I’d stood in this room too many times over the years. I waited here for them to tell me my mother was going to be okay. I waited after my grandfather’s heart attack for the same. I stood here searching for some sort of hope again when they brought my grandmother in.
And eventually, I waited here to find out Lana’s condition.
Almost every single time the staff stepped out those double doors, I waited for good news, and they brought me death.
I didn’t know how to expect anything different.
Warm arms slid around me, Mayhem’s tattooed hands locking over my stomach.
I blinked down at them for a minute,
