“What?” I say, unable to make sense of his words.
He shakes his head as if he pities me. “Ethan asked me if I could recommend a sous chef to make his first American restaurant a success. Of course I recommended you. You’re the best sous chef in Manhattan. But I warned him not to get involved with you. I knew he was going to use you to advance his career. It’s what he does.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are you implying he slept his way to success?”
He shrugs. “Priya really broke his heart. Sex became his coping mechanism, and his ticket to success. My only regret is I was the one who recommended he hire you. But I never meant for you to get hurt in all of this.”
His faux sympathy makes me want to vomit. My mind is spinning as it scrambles to separate fact from fiction. How much of what Edward is telling me is true? I used to think ninety percent of what he said was untrue, but is it all lies?
“Ethan isn’t like you,” I say, though I feel zero conviction behind my words.
Ethan may not behave like Edward, but there’s no denying those pictures.
Edward’s expression morphs into hardened anger. “He’s no better than me,” he says, his tone taking on that characteristic air of disdain. “You may think he’s amazing, but you’re deluded if you think he’s going to deliver on that promotion. And even if he does promote you to sous chef, you’re never going to be anything more than a useful tool to him, a tool to be used and screwed whenever he wants to remember what it felt like to be with Priya.”
I fight against the part of me that wants to believe his words. The part of me that bought into the lie Edward told me in that walk-in cooler seven months ago. The lie that I’m not beautiful or lovable or talented enough for him, or anyone.
“Your entire reputation in this city is built on lies,” I begin, straightening my shoulders as I look him in the eye. “All you do is tear other people down to prop yourself up. You’d be nowhere, you’d have nothing if it weren’t for the amazing people you’ve worked with, including me. And the fact that you don’t understand that, is why you’ll never be as successful as Ethan.”
“His success is superficial. I’m the one who finished school. I’m the one who clawed my way to every success while he glides in, sprinkles a bit of sugar on other people’s failures, and everyone falls all over him. So brilliant! So imaginative! Ha!”
I shake my head. “Wow… I used to think you were an egotistical jerk with a superiority complex,” I say, ignoring his lazy smirk. “I still think that. But now I know it’s not just that. I can see clearly now, you’re just a pathetic, spiteful man who derives pleasure from stealing everyone’s joy.”
“Stealing joy? Oh, please. Save me the Oprah psychoanalysis. You don’t know me, Alice, you’ve never known me. And you definitely don’t know Ethan.”
“Maybe you’re right, but I do know one thing,” I say, bumping into a bag of garbage on the sidewalk as I take a step back. “You’re trash, Edward. And if you don’t change your ways, I expect that’s where all the achievements you’ve earned on the backs of others will end up, too.”
Before he can reply, I kick the bag of trash toward him and begin walking in the direction of Forked. When I glance back, I’m relieved to find Edward is not following after me. But that doesn’t make what he shared with me any less disturbing.
I’ll never be able to unsee those pictures of Ethan’s ex-girlfriend. If I don’t bring this up with Ethan, I’ll always wonder if anything Edward said about his intentions was true.
My gut is telling me not to believe anything Edward says. Just as Minka confirmed to me before I took the job at Forked, it was Edward who used me to advance his career. Ethan wouldn’t use me.
Would he?
As I cross 8th Avenue, I suddenly remember the night Ethan and I spent together at the hotel. He kept getting text messages, which he seemed to be ignoring. Then, he lied to me about talking to Tino.
Then, of course, there’s the fact he never told me about Priya.
But we weren’t even together. Was he really obligated to tell me about his ex-girlfriend?
But she looks just like me. It’s kind of suspicious to keep something like that a secret.
What else is he keeping from me?
My stomach is in knots as I push through the swinging door into the pastry kitchen. When I find Ethan in there talking to Judy, my heart stops. I realize I have no idea what I’m going to say to him.
The smile on his face vanishes when he notices the distress in my eyes. But Judy doesn’t seem to notice.
Her eyes light up when she sees me. “Alice!” she says excitedly. “Congratulations on the Paris internship! I had no idea you were interested in teaching.”
Ethan looks at Judy as if she’s crazy. “What are you talking about?” he asks her, but he turns to me for the answer.
Judy finally notices the anguish in my eyes. “Oh, my,” she murmurs. “I… Bette called me this morning to tell me and I was so excited. I thought… I assumed you would have told… I’m so sorry, Alice. I really didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault,” I assure her, then I turn to Ethan. “I should have said something sooner.”
He shakes his head as he stares at the shiny surface of the stainless steel worktable between us. “Come with me.”
I follow behind him, feeling very much like a defiant student being called to the principal’s office. I know I’ve
