Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jude entering the kitchen, a smitten-faced blonde crazy-glued to his side. Iris Merlini. She hasn’t changed very much since I last saw her. Only difference is now she’s on my brother’s arm and she looks over-the-moon happy.
Jude approaches cautiously. The smile drops from my youngest brother’s face. “Hey guys. What’s going on…?” He warily sets down a bottle of wine on the counter.
Overdramatic as always, my mom fans her cheeks and sniffles. Like I’m taking Callie halfway around the world instead of a five-minute walk away. She’s uttering a stream of worried little mumbles. It seems like she’s talking to herself, so I don’t bother with answering.
“Hey now,” Dad drapes an arm around his wife’s back. “You don’t understand what we’re going through. We've been raising her all this time, so you need to see how hard this is for us, too. How hard it’s going to be on your mom.”
I sigh, reaching out to robotically pat Mom on the back. I don’t want to be a dick about this and the last thing I want is to see Ma hurt. Because my family knows as well as I do—if they hadn’t stepped in, Callie may well have ended up in the system when Gabby skipped town. The thought makes my stomach clench.
“Ma, listen,” I try a softer approach to reason with her. I crouch in front of her. “I’m not taking her away. I know you guys have gotten close, and I’m not going to come in the way of that. I just need to rebuild my family, and Callie is it for me.” My heart tightens when I say that, when I admit that the third piece of our family puzzle is gone. Gabby is gone. She left and never looked back. Now, I’m in this on my own. I’m a single dad.
I can’t fuck this up, dammit.
Rising to my feet, I reclaim my full height, standing like a man, like the father Callie needs me to be. Ma lifts her head, wiping her nose on the back of her arm. Her teary eyes meet my hard stare. “I know. I know you love her, Eli. It’s just that we do, too.”
She rises off her stool, lips firm with determination. This is it. I know it. She’s going to kick my ass out, and tell me to work with the courts. But…she shocks the hell out of me, instead.
“I’ll compromise with you, dear. You can leave here with Callie.” I suck in a breath at her words. But then she goes and ruins it. “But only if Jessa goes to live with you.”
“What?!” My shout bounces off the walls.
Ma carries on, defiant. “Callie has wrapped herself so tightly around that woman, I think that’s the only way to help the little girl transition through all this.”
Jude releases his woman’s hand. “That’s not such a bad deal. All things considered. It’s a reasonable offer.”
I glimpse outside to where Callie and the nanny are still playing together.
The woman pauses. Her eyes dart around like she’s about to dig up a body in the yard. Then she glances at Callie and holds a finger over her pursed lips. She rummages around in her sweater’s pocket with her other hand. Grinning conspiratorially, the nanny passes my daughter a piece of candy before popping a piece into her own mouth.
The two of them throw back their heads, giggling.
Pure glee. Pure, innocent glee.
Oh god…
Jude wobbles a step closer, a slight limp in his movements. “Consider the alternative, Eli. Court battles, lawyers, social workers. We all love the kid. Let’s not allow this to get nasty.” He claps a big palm on my shoulder.
I watch my baby girl as I consider my mother’s offer. I want to be a part of her life again. I want to be her father. I haven’t even hugged my own child in three years, because the poor thing is terrified of me. I’m a stranger. I have to fix this.
My focus hones in on the nanny. She’s wearing a fluffy yellow sweater that looks about three sizes too big, together with leggings. Sparkly leggings covered in grinning cat faces.
I groan inwardly and pinch my eyes closed to keep from rolling them like a high school cheerleader.
Do I want this perky, energetic, highly annoying creature staying under my roof? Especially when I’m trying to win my daughter’s heart and her attention? Especially when I’m in this foul, dark mood? No. Hell fucking no.
But what I want is secondary to what Callie needs.
I remember how Callie hid behind her in my parent’s dining room. My little girl is clearly comfortable with this Jenny woman. More comfortable than she is with me. Maybe…maybe this could work.
I don’t know if the nanny would actually agree to live with me or if my parents will be able to convince her. All I know is…she’s the key. She’s the key to fixing everything with my daughter.
If I’ve got to move her in with me, then so be it.
I turn to my family and my jaw is tight like stone. “Fine,” I grit out. “If that’s what it takes, fine.”
7 Jessa
I would have quit right there on the spot.
When Mrs. Kingston told me that going to live with Eli was the only way to keep my job as Callie’s nanny, I would have quit right there on the spot. Because notwithstanding my monster infatuation with the man, since the moment he showed up, he’s been nothing but a surly, intimidating jerk.
But one look at that little girl and my heart melted. He's her father and she loves him. But he's also a stranger and she's terrified. I couldn't leave her to face that alone.
So now, here we are, following the broad-shouldered
