I get that fluttery feeling again. The one I get every time he utters my name. I love the way my name sounds when he says it.
“I don’t have those answers,” I admit softly. “But I don’t think silence is what’s right for her. Callie is so inquisitive. If I were in your shoes, I would be proactive with that conversation. Let her know that her mom’s betrayal is not her fault. Make sure she knows you love her. Encourage her to ask questions.” My hand squeezes reflexively on his leg as I try to offer silent support. Before I can manage pulling it away, Eli’s large hand falls over mine, trapping my fingers between his calloused hand and warm thigh.
My breath goes shallow. Lord, he’s making it hard to concentrate.
“It’s the questions I’m worried about,” he mumbles, his thumb rubbing lightly over the back of my hand. I’m not even sure he’s aware of it. But boy, I sure am. Every nerve ending in my arm is blazing.
“I know. You just have to remember that there are no wrong answers here. You’ll know what feels right in the moment.”
Eli’s quiet for a while, but then he nods, exhaling a heavy breath. He snorts, a trace of a smile teasing those lips. “We’d be fucked without you.”
A small laugh escapes me. The man’s harsh words, combined with the sweetest compliment he’s ever given me, touches a part of me so deep, it even catches me off guard. “Thanks, I guess? I’m happy to make sure you’re not fucked…,” I trail off, the deep double meaning of the word settling into the space between us. My cheeks instantly burn as I let my eyes fall to our hands.
Oh my God, my stomach clenches.
I’m sitting on a couch, in the dark, practically holding hands with the man who’s supposed to be my boss. The man I’ve fantasized about for months. His face is just inches away from mine, and I don’t even know how that happened. One minute, I’m giving him hairstyling tips, and the next, he’s staring at me like I’m the answer to every one of his problems.
I swallow hard, willing my racing heart to slow. When I finally meet his eyes again, he speaks. “You’re welcome.” His deep voice grazes every inch of my skin.
The way he’s looking at me right now makes it hard to breathe, and my inner thoughts battle it out, as I stare back at him. There's a war going on inside me.
Kiss me.
Don’t kiss me.
Kiss me, dammit.
His shadowed eyes flick to our intermingled hands before rising to my face. The room is nearly dark, only lit up by the bright television in the corner. Still, I see the storm brewing in that dark stare. He licks his lips. “God, it feels good to touch you.” His words come out low. His voice cracks with hunger.
I like the way it feels. That’s what I want to say but there’s a boulder in my throat blocking the words.
Eli snatches his hand back. He swallows. “Shit. I’m sorry. I know…I know we can’t do this. I know we can’t take this further. You already said that.” I see the guilt in his face. It echoes the guilt I feel in my gut.
“I know…” I say. Regret sits heavy like a rock on my diaphragm. I wish things could be different.
That’s my cue to leave. I stand from the couch and head toward the stairs.
I hear my boss call out after me. “Thank you, Jessa. Thank you for everything you do for my daughter.” He hesitates. “For me.”
I force a smile to the surface. “Just doing my job.” I turn my back on him and climb the stairs.
26 Jessa
I sit straight, shoulders back, wearing my brightest smile as I answer each question like a rock star. As promised, Michael set up an interview for a kindergarten teaching position in our hometown. I took the morning off to make the trip back here. I’d really prefer to find work in Crescent Harbor, but at this point, I can’t be too choosy. I need a teaching job.
This isn’t the same elementary school I went to as a kid, but it’s in the same district, and everyone here seems so stinking nice. After interviewing with the school principal and several teachers on the hiring committee, the assistant principal gives me a guided tour of the little building.
Shannon is only a few years older than me, and we hit it off instantly. She’s a sweetheart, giving me all the ins and outs and some insider secrets, too. She tells me that tours aren’t a typical part of the interview package, so I can safely anticipate a job offer in my very near future.
A job. A real, big-girl job.
The mere thought makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, giving me a sense of hope I haven’t felt in a really long time.
The assistant principal walks me back to the administrator’s office, where Michael is waiting for me. I told him he didn’t have to stay the whole time. I’m sure he has better things to do with his day but he insisted.
“Thank you so much for the tour, Shannon. I look forward to hearing from you,” I offer, holding out my hand to shake hers.
Instead the woman pulls me in for a half-hug, catching me by surprise. Well, okay then. I laugh, and we say our goodbyes.
Michael walks me out, his hand falling to my back. “Look at you, woman. I knew you’d have them eating out of the palm of your hand.”
His words are kind, but his voice dips suggestively, making me feel…well, dirty. “Thanks. I appreciate you setting this up.”
“Anything for you, Jessie Babe.” He holds the building’s door open, letting me pass through first. “Hey, let me take you out for drinks. What do you say?” Michael offers me his
