In that moment, I just know—call it a premonition—but I just know I’m gonna chin-punch that bitch one day.
And on second thought, there’s no way that butt is real.
36 Eli
It’s Wednesday afternoon. I step out of the courtroom into the crowded hallway, the sound of the slamming gavel still resonating in my skull. A few feet behind me, I can hear the indistinct chatter of my lawyer speaking with my parents but I can’t process their words.
My ears are ringing, my fingers feel tingly and there’s sweat soaking through the back of my shirt. I hadn’t realized how anxious I was about this whole thing until now that it’s all finally over. Ripping off my suit jacket, I land on a wooden bench and drop my face into my hands.
I’m fucking overcome.
I got my daughter back. Officially. Legally. A judge reviewed the evidence, came to a decision, made me a father again. In the eyes of the law, I am Callie’s legal custodian and no one can take her away from me.
I’m rebuilding my life, brick by brick.
Frank calls out to me. “Eli, I have to get back to New York for a few days but we’ll be in touch sometime this week,” my lawyer says as he shoves a sheaf of papers into his attache case.
I stand from the bench and approach him, hand outstretched. “Thank you again. For everything.”
I owe this old man so much. He showed up out of nowhere several months ago. He dedicated himself wholeheartedly to my case and he didn’t stop working until he got my ass out of jail.
Now, he’s helped me put another important piece of my life back on its rails—my legal rights surrounding Callie. He’s doing this all pro bono and I don’t know where he came from or how I’ll ever repay him. I never believed in guardian angels but this man sure is one.
He gives me a curt nod before saluting my parents. Then he melts into the crowd of lawyers and bailiffs and stern-faced security guys wandering the halls of justice alongside regular civilians.
My father turns my way and extends a hand toward me. “Congratulations, son,” he says. “You’re a good dad. I’m glad the judge was able to see that.”
I start to stretch my arm for a handshake but I stop myself. Instead, I pull my dad into a hug. Ma squeals when I loop an arm around her back and drag her into the family huddle, too.
“Thank you, guys,” I mutter, fighting the prickly ball clogging my throat. “Thank you for taking care of my girl while I was away.”
“Of course.” I can hear the deep cracks of emotion in my father’s voice as he pats my back with a strong paw. “We’d do anything for that kid. For you.”
Ma eases back and looks me in the face, tears shining in her own eyes. She cups my cheek in her hand. “Now’s your chance to start your new life, Eli. And I just want you to know that we’re rooting for you.”
Those words hit me hard. After being at odds with my parents for so long, it feels good to be on the same team as them at last. I stand in the middle of the hallway, feeling like I’m floating on the wings of possibility as I watch my parents walk away.
My little girl is at home with Jessa today. Now, I just want to get back to her, to both of them, to our little safe haven in the middle of the woods.
My mind flashes back to Jesssa’s reaction when she saw me emerge from the basement this morning. The nanny’s eyes did a slow head-to-toe examination of me and her cheeks turned rose pink. She says she likes seeing me in a suit.
I want to see her look at me like that again.
37 Eli
When I got back from court, Callie and Jessa were making hamburgers in the kitchen. I shared the good news with them, announcing that the judge had awarded me full parental rights. I had to explain it all to my daughter in kiddie terms. She squealed with delight and locked me up in one of her heartfelt hugs. It melted me to goo.
We’re solid with the courts. Finally. It’s such a relief. But even more important, my baby girl is starting to really know her father, and I couldn’t ask for a greater gift.
I caught Jessa surreptitiously pushing tears away from her eyes. When I poked fun at her for being a softie, she slapped me on the chest and then pulled me into a quick hug that lingered on my skin all day.
The three of us ate lunch together before going to hang out down on the dock. Jessa and I sat side by side on a big blanket as Callie wore herself out, chasing after frogs and trying to catch butterflies. Later, the nanny took Callie over to visit Penny and Walker’s twins and I got an hour to myself to fully bask in the victories of the day, to make plans for the future.
Now, the house is quiet. Callie is asleep and I’m sitting here in the dark kitchen. Waiting…
Fuck, I’m waiting for Jessa.
It’s been becoming a habit. Over the past few nights, we’ve been meeting up in the kitchen after Callie goes to bed. We’ve been spending hours sitting alone in the dark, whispering and laughing and getting hopped up on sugar and sexual energy. Enjoying each other’s company.
I know I shouldn’t be getting this close to the nanny but she's playful, sweet, vulnerable. She’s my secret indulgence. I’m addicted to the rush of being near her. After everything I’ve been through, she’s teaching me to have fun again and I just can’t stay away.
So far, our interactions have been innocent. But I’m beginning to realize that it’s only a matter of time before we
