I hate that Jessa put us in this position. She did this. She screwed everything up for Callie and me.
Things were great for my daughter. Callie loved that crazy little woman. The child considered her nanny nothing less than family. Every night that Callie asks me about Jessa kills off another piece of me. She misses her so much, and it’s just not fucking fair.
And all the questions Callie has…
Where did Jessa go? When is she coming back? Why didn’t she say goodbye? Did I do something wrong? Is that why she doesn’t like me anymore?
My heart fucking breaks for the kid. I blame it all on that damn pretty, enchanting, deceitful woman.
Did I do the right thing?
Sometimes I wish I had at least let Jessa explain what the hell she was doing with that damn dossier about me. Maybe then I could stop wondering what the real story is behind her lies. Maybe then I could get a good night’s rest and be able to see my computer straight during the day.
I’ve been sitting at my desk, tinkering with this stupid spreadsheet for two hours now. Either I’ve forgotten how to add or I typed in all the formulas wrong, but either way, it’s clearly not correct. My numbers aren’t making sense, and Cannon needs this data for a meeting in fifteen minutes.
I press the heels of my hands into my eye sockets, hoping that will provide some relief. It doesn’t.
My door swings open after a single knock, banging into the wall.
I scowl. “Yes. Please come in,” I deadpan to my brother. No fucking manners. You’d think he was the one who just got out of jail.
“The acquisition analysis for the Barre Investments file. Have you been working on that again?” His tone is…off. He almost sounds suspicious about something. Like he’s trying to solve a mystery and I’m at the root of it.
I frown harder. “No. What are you talking about?”
“I was taking a look at the reports on our drive, and it seems like something in the data changed. Just thought maybe you were in there fiddling with it.”
My eyes narrow on Cannon. What the hell is he getting at? He knows I’m not working on that analysis. I finished it two days ago, and it’s been out of my hands ever since. “Are you accusing me of something, Cannon?”
If so, he better spit it the fuck out. I don’t have time to be speaking in circles right now. I need to jump back on the nanny cam and make sure Callie finished her lunch.
He grunts. “No, I’m not accusing you of anything. Just…just double check your work, man.”
With that, he pivots and slams the door behind him.
“Double check this,” I mutter, slipping off my shoe and launching it at the closed door. The loud thump gives me just enough satisfaction to suffer through the rest of my day.
54 Jessa
My pulse starts to mimic the Hammer Time beat the second I spot Eli’s Audi turn up the end of his long driveway. Swallowing back—well, I can’t even remember the last meal I ate—I force myself to my feet.
Here goes nothing…
I watch with pulsing jitters as the car draws closer and comes to a stop. He gets out. I’ve been sitting here for a long while now, waiting for this very moment.
After the first hour, my butt started to ache. But it was the painful type of ache, not the welcome kind of sting that blazes across my skin when Eli’s getting frisky with me. God, I miss getting spanked by him.
I miss touching him. And kissing him. And falling asleep in his arms.
Why does he have to be so darn handsome? My eyes roam over all of him. I’m not sure it’s possible, but in the time I’ve been gone, sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms in my sister’s big old mansion, I think Eli Kingston has managed to grow even better-looking.
My mind is spiraling.
“Go away, Jessa.” He strides right past me toward the door, his tired voice cutting through the silent air. His eyes don’t even stray in my direction and that makes me feel two feet tall. But I’ve waited all this time to speak to him and I refuse to be ignored.
“No,” I say, mustering a surprising amount of strength. “I need you to listen to me.”
At my outburst, he spares me a look. “You shouldn’t be here. You’re going to confuse my daughter by showing up like this.”
“First of all, I know that Callie isn’t at home right now. That’s part of why I came here when I did. I saw her in town, going to her play group with her new nanny, I guess.” Boy, that was a hard image. Seeing that god-awful woman hustling my Callie along.
It took divine intervention to continue driving on by when I saw the broken look on the little girl’s sweet face. I wanted nothing more than to give Callie a hug and to smell her bubblegum shampoo and to listen to her sweet giggles. But I had to keep my distance.
Eli’s hand falls from the door knob and he turns to me with his mouth pressed into a thin line. Well, he hasn’t barricaded himself inside yet, so maybe…maybe I’ve got a shot here.
“You don’t have to speak,” I promise. “I know that what I did was fucked up. And I know that the last thing you want is a confrontation after a long day of work, but I can’t sleep until I get this off my chest. All I want is to explain…Even if I don’t really deserve the chance.”
I’m not feeling very much self-love these days. I’m not sure what I deserve in this very messy situation. I really made a clusterfuck of everything. Let’s just face it—what I did was fucked up. Even if I did it with the purest of intentions, clearing the name of the man I love. My heart is broken for the secrets I kept
