After a few pleasantries, the men forget about me and return to their conversation.
“If you ask me, Red River doesn’t seem like prime real estate for a resort town but hey—it’s not my money circling the drain.” Cannon wears a snarky expression as he speaks.
The man gives my brother a brash shrug. “What can I say? I’ve got a few billion dollars to play around with. I’ve got to do something with all the money I make off of owning the Paragons.”
Cannon cracks up. “You were always such an asshole.”
The men continue discussing small town property development opportunities and business expansion. I quietly slink away from the table. I’m in no mood to witness their billion-dollar pissing contest.
I run into Walker as I’m on the way out of the club. He’s still going around taking pictures, looking weary and exhausted as he does it. “P. Diddy is here,” he tells me lethargically. “Penny loves P. Diddy. I’m going to see if I can get a picture with him.” He shakes his head. “The things a man does for love…”
I say good night, yanking off my tie as I go. Alone in the elevator, I ride up to the penthouse suite Jude booked for the night. There are five bedrooms, one for each of my brothers, plus Dad and me.
When I step into the suite, I find my father slouched on the sprawling sectional sofa in the living room, fast asleep. His phone is clutched in his hand. When the door clicks shut, he wakes with a start.
I give him a nod. “Hey, Dad.”
He straightens up on the couch’s soft cushions. “Hey.”
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” I ask.
Disoriented, he glances down at his phone. “Your mother and I fell asleep video-chatting.” He scrubs a hand down his face and chuckles. “Thirty-eight years and I can’t fall asleep without having her nearby. Even if we can’t be in the same room, I still need to feel that she’s close. It’s sort of pathetic.”
Jessa would argue that it’s romantic. Maybe she would be right. Silently, I imagine what it would be like to have a relationship like that with her, what it would be like to need each other so intrinsically that we couldn’t even fall asleep without being connected somehow.
I guess now I’ll never know.
“How’s the bachelor party going?” he asks.
I drop down near him. “I’m not sure me being at a nightclub is the best idea. I was going out of my mind in there.”
Dad chuckles shortly. “I don’t know why Jude is torturing the poor groom-to-be like that. Walker isn’t a nightclub kind of guy. If Jude really wanted your oldest brother to have a good time tonight, he should have just organized a team of guys to go help him clean out the pig stalls or something.”
I nod my agreement. “That sounds about right.”
After a long, quiet moment, my father scans my face. “I heard about you leaving Kingston Realties,” he mutters, sounding disappointed.
I sigh. “Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys. I just realized it wasn’t the right fit for me. No hard feelings against Cannon though. We’re probably closer when we don’t have to work together.”
Dad snorts. “What are you going to do now?”
“I’m still figuring that out,” I say honestly.
“Well, in any case, I’m proud of you, Eli.”
My head whips around. My father stares at me, a genuine look on his face.
I chuckle. “I can’t imagine why. I’ve made some shitty choices and I’m not exactly a contender for the Son of the Year Award.”
“Maybe not, but I’m proud of the way you put your daughter first. You’re a good dad. I’m proud of how you’re taking charge of your life and making your own path. I’m not sure any of your brothers could go through what you have and still come out the other side.”
All I can manage is a small nod because I know I didn’t emerge from this on my own. I know I had a good woman by my side from day one and she had my back when I was sagging under the weight of my resentment and my anger. She got me steady on my own feet.
And how did I thank her? By discarding her at the first sign of imperfection, at her first mistake. With Jessa, I was thriving, and now, I’m back to barely surviving.
I think Dad can read it all on my face. He pauses. “Are you happy, son?”
My throat clenches hard, and I clear it several times. “I don’t know,” I admit. “I was, I think. But then…”
“Then you fired that girl.”
Shit...
“Yeah,” I croak. We sit in silence for a long moment, and I appreciate my father not grilling my ass. “Nothing feels right since she left. Jessa was more than a nanny, dammit. She was part of the family.”
Dad nods. “She really loved Callie.”
“And Callie loved her.” My eyes drop to my hands. “I…I loved her, too.”
My father’s brows shoot up. “Did you tell her that?”
“Fuck, no,” I mutter. “Do you have any idea what she did to me? She betrayed me. She made me look like a fool, Dad.”
“Okay. So you’re punishing her. How does that make you feel. You feel vindicated? You feel like a man?”
Nope. The truth is, I feel like a turd the dog walker abandoned on the edge of the neighbor’s lawn.
My dad sighs. “Sometimes, you have to fight for the life you want. You have to put your anger, your resentment, your sense of betrayal aside. And just choose love over everything else. Because who cares if you’re right if it means spending every night alone? Who cares if you’re right if it means losing the woman who makes you feel complete?”
I scrub a hand over my jaw. “It’s too late, Dad. I pushed her away. I ended things. I’ve been horrible to her.”
“Then talk to her again,” he says simply. When I hesitate, he
