“Fuck. You are so wet, Lily.” He pushed a finger into me and I arched off the wall with a gasp. Only he had that effect on me.
He removed his finger again and opened his zipper. My core tightened with anticipation and need. I heard the rip of a condom package and then his tip pressed against my opening and he started to slide into me. My walls yielded to his hot length until he’d sheathed himself completely in me. We peered into each other’s eyes. This felt so right. Why did it have to feel so right?
“You feel so fucking good, Lily. And so fucking tight, good God.”
Our lips found each other again. It had been too long. Romero thrust into me, driving me higher up against the wall. I moaned when he hit a spot deep inside of me. “We have to be quiet,” he murmured in a low voice, then his mouth swallowed my next sound. I wrapped my arms even tighter around his neck. It felt like we were one, inseparable.
I dug my heels into his butt, driving him deeper into me as I stared into his brown eyes. Eyes so full of emotions they threatened to unravel me. I loved him. How could I live without him, without this?
Romero didn’t take his eyes off mine as he plunged into me harder. Pleasure surged through me and I came apart. Romero kept pounding into me until his own orgasm hit him. We clung to each other, still united. I kissed the side of his neck. His familiar scent flooded my nose and I closed my eyes. I wanted to stay like this forever.
Distant sound of laughter dragged me back into the realm of reality. Romero pulled out of me. I loosened my hold on him and let my legs slide down until my feet hit the ground. I couldn’t even look up at him as I straightened my skirt. Romero threw the condom into a nearby bin before he returned to me. Neither of us said anything. From the corner of my eye, I saw him reaching for my cheek. I backed away. Bracing myself, I lifted my gaze. “This was a mistake,” I whispered.
Shock crossed Romero’s face, then it became emotionless. “A mistake.”
“I’m going to marry Benito soon. We can’t do this again.”
Romero gave a terse nod, then he turned on his heel and walked off. I had to resist the urge to run after him. I waited a couple more minutes before I headed toward the restroom. I needed to clean up before I returned to the party or people would realize something had happened. To my relief, there was no one in the restroom when I stepped in. I checked my reflection. My hair was all over the place and my makeup needed touching up. Sweat trickled down my back. But worse than that was the telltale prickling in my eyes. I couldn’t cry now. That would ruin everything. I took a few deep breaths through my nose before I started to redo my makeup. When I left the restroom twenty minutes later, I looked like nothing had happened, but my insides were twisting. I’d thought I’d made peace with my marriage to Benito, had hoped my feelings for Romero had lessened, but now I realized that was far from being true.
The moment I stepped onto the dance floor, Luca was there and asked me for a dance. I knew he wanted more than that. He steered us toward a part of the dance floor where there weren’t as many dancers before he started to talk quietly. “You are still going through with this marriage? You and Romero were gone for a while.”
“Yes. I will marry Benito, don’t worry,” I said tiredly. I couldn’t even blame Luca for being so insensitive. He’d invited me into his home and taken care of me, and I’d paid him back by making one of soldiers break his oath.
“You don’t have to stay married to him forever,” Luca said casually.
“Father would never agree to a divorce.” Father would kill me before that ever happened.
“There are other ways out of a marriage than divorce. Sometimes people die.”
“He’s not that old.”
Luca cocked an eyebrow. “Sometimes people die anyway.”
Was he really suggesting that I should kill Benito? “Why can’t he die before my wedding?”
“That would look suspicious. Wait a few months. The time will pass quickly, trust me.”
I wanted to believe him but months sharing a bed with Benito, of having him inside of me, like Romero had just been, sounded like hell.
“Romero won’t want me anymore then.”
Luca remained silent. He knew it to be true. Why would Romero still want me after I’d spent months sleeping with another guy? I was already disgusted by the thought, how much worse would it be for him? “There are good men in the Outfit too. You’ll find new happiness. You’re doing the right thing by marrying Benito. You’re preventing war and you’re protecting Romero from himself. That’s a brave thing to do.”
I nodded, but I wanted to cry. Luca and I returned to our table. Aria tried to talk to me again but she gave up when I barely said anything. I needed to survive this day somehow and then my wedding, and the months thereafter, and then maybe I’d get another chance at happiness. I searched the room until my eyes settled on Romero. He was pointedly not looking at me. I loved him, loved him so much it hurt. I knew there would be no happiness for me without him.
* * *
Aria and Gianna helped me with my dress. It was white of course, with a veil that trailed after me. I wore my hair down because Benito had wanted me to.
“You look beautiful,” Aria said from behind me.
I checked my reflection but I could only
