“That was your first murder, right?” I whispered.
Luca’s eyes, which had been lost in another time, focused on me. “Yeah. The first of many.”
“When did you kill again?”
“That same night.” He smiled humorlessly. “After that first man, I told Matteo to hide in my closet. He protested, but I was bigger and locked him in. By then I’d lost quite a bit of blood, but I was high on adrenaline and could still hear shooting downstairs, so I headed for the noise with my gun. My father was in a shooting match with two attackers. I came down the stairs but nobody paid me any attention, and then I shot one of them from behind. My father took the other down with a shot in the shoulder.”
“Why didn’t he kill him?”
“He wanted to question him to find out if there were other traitors in the Famiglia.”
“So what did he do with the guy while he took you to the hospital?”
Luca gave me a wry look. I gasped. “Don’t tell me he didn’t take you.”
“He called the Doc of the Famiglia, told me to put pressure on the wound and went ahead and started torturing the guy for information.”
I couldn’t believe a father would let his child suffer through pain and risk his life, so he could gather information.
“You could have died. Some things need to be treated in a hospital. How could he do that?”
“The Famiglia comes first. We never take our injured to a hospital. They ask too many questions and the police get involved, and it’s an admittance of weakness. And my father had to make sure the traitor spoke before he got a chance to kill himself.”
“So you agree with what he did? You would have watched someone you love bleed to death so you could protect the Famiglia and your power.”
“My father doesn’t love me. Matteo and I are his guarantee for power and a way to keep the family name alive. Love has nothing to do with it.”
“I hate this life. I hate the mafia. Sometimes I wish there was a way to escape.”
Luca’s face became still. “From me?”
“No,” I said, surprising myself. “From this world. Have you never wanted to live a normal life?”
“No. This is who I am, who I was born to be, Aria. It’s the only life I know, the only life I want. For me to commit to a normal life would be like an eagle living in a small cage in a zoo.” He paused. “Your marriage to me shackles you to the mafia. Blood and death will be your life as long as I live.”
“Then so be it. I’ll go where you go no matter how dark the path.”
For a moment, Luca held his breath, then he gripped the back of my head and kissed me fiercely.
* * *
I’d thought Luca would want to sleep with me again soon after our first time, but he didn’t push me. Even though I tried to hide it, he could tell that I was sore for a few days after. He pleasured me with his tongue a few times, never even entering me with his finger, and I made him come with my mouth in turn.
I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for an okay from me but when he came home one night a week after he’d taken my virginity, looking exhausted and angry, I wanted to make him feel better. After he’d showered, he stumbled toward the bed in only his boxers, his eyes filled with darkness.
“Bad day?” I whispered as he flung himself on the bed beside me. He lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling with empty eyes.
“Luca?”
“I lost three of my men today.”
“What happened?”
“The Bratva attacked one of our warehouses.” His lips thinned, chest heaving. “We’ll make them pay. Our retribution will make them bleed.”
“What can I do?” I said softly, my hand stroking his chest.
“I need you.”
“Okay.” I slid my nightgown over my head and pushed down my panties. I knelt beside Luca. He got rid of his boxers and his erection sprang free. Gripping my hips, he made me straddle his stomach. Nerves twisted my insides. I’d hoped that for my second time Luca would still be on top. The thought of lowering myself on his length after how much it had hurt last time terrified me, but if Luca needed me, then I could do it. I cried out in surprise when Luca gripped my butt and hoisted me toward his face, so I was hovering over his mouth. He pressed me down and I screamed out in pleasure, my hands coming up to press against the headboard. This was more intense than anything Luca had ever done to me.
His tongue slipped into me deeply and he massaged my butt with firm fingertips. I peered down into Luca’s eyes as he closed his mouth over my clit. I rocked my hips, pressing myself against his mouth. He growled. The vibration sent pleasure through me and I started rotating my hips, riding Luca’s face. I closed my eyes, let my head fall back as Luca fucked me with his tongue again, humming all the while. And then I shattered, rocking against Luca’s mouth and screaming his name. Somewhere deep inside, a part of me wanted to be embarrassed, but I
