I backed away, completely shaken. How hadn’t I noticed anything? How long had this been going on? I turned and walked away.
“Gemma!” Toni called. “Wait!”
Diego caught up with me and grabbed my elbow. “What are you doing here?” He took in my wet hair and ruffled appearance. “What happened? Did Savio do something?”
I stared at him, then at Toni. She was biting her lip, looking like she was about to cry. Did she think I was mad at her for dating my brother? It was an icky thing to consider, but nothing I’d get mad over. That she hadn’t told me bothered me.
Diego shook me slightly. “Gemma, tell me right this fucking second what happened. Did he touch you?”
Toni approached us slowly.
I shook my head.
Diego forced me to look into his eyes. “What the fuck did he do?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“You don’t look like nothing!” he snarled. “Fuck it. I’m heading over there and talk to him. I swear if he touched you, I’m going to rip his dick off.”
He stormed away. “Stay with Antonia! I’ll pick you up later.”
I stood, stunned. When he was gone, I looked at my best friend.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, Gemma. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not.”
“You look mad.”
I was mad. Not at her. I was mad at myself and Savio, and Diego. “How long has this been going on?”
Toni shrugged. “A few weeks.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we could tell each other everything.”
She blushed. “I was worried about how you’d react.”
I linked our fingers. “You know I’d support you with anything. Even if seeing you kiss my brother makes me want to bleach my brain.” I grinned and finally she smiled back.
“Come on,” she said, tugging me into the office, even if the desk now held disturbing images for me. We sank down on the couch.
“What happened with Savio?”
“Nothing. I mean…” I flushed. “I saw him naked. Not on purpose. He just removed his towel to show me his tattoo.”
Toni’s eyes widened. “You saw all of him?”
I nodded, biting my lip, torn between embarrassment, anger, and giddiness.
“And?”
“Don’t tell me you want me to describe his you-know-what!” I wouldn’t even know where to start. Even that part of Savio had been magnificent and a bit intimidating if I was being honest.
“Was he excited?”
I covered my face with my hands. “Toni…”
“Come on, tell me.”
“No, he wasn’t. Not really.” He hadn’t exactly been soft, but not hard either. But what did I know?
I fixed her with a stare. “Now it’s your turn to answer my questions. What’s going on between you and Diego? I thought you weren’t in love with him anymore.”
Toni shrugged. “I’m not in love with him.. A few weeks ago, he had business here. Dad wasn’t there so we talked. We hit it off, so we met again and then it happened.”
“You kissed?”
She looked away, and my mouth fell open. “Don’t tell me you slept with my brother?”
Toni looked down at her hands. “It just happened.”
“You had your first time with Diego and didn’t tell me?”
The images forming in my head were too disturbing to bear. Toni had slept with Diego. Dread filled me, remembering Diego’s words. He would marry for tactical purposes. Toni’s family had some money due to the Arena, but they weren’t well-respected in the Camorra. A marriage to her wouldn’t improve my brother’s standing.
She nodded slowly. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing to me? You had to sleep with him.”
“I wanted to.” She sighed. “I know that you think sex belongs in a marriage, that your family is traditional, so I was ashamed to tell you. I was worried what you’d think of me, and I didn’t want Diego to get into trouble.”
Diego wouldn’t get into trouble for sleeping with a girl. He’d been sleeping with girls before and Dad didn’t really care. Then part of what Toni had said registered in me. I hugged her tightly. “You are a dumbass, you know that? I’d never judge you for sleeping with a guy, even if that guy is my idiot of a brother. You can do whatever you want, Toni. I love you. If you want to have sex, then that’s only your decision.”
It wouldn’t give her bonus points in our still very traditional society. The mafia didn’t play by the rules of the outside world, even the Camorra.
She released a shaky breath and I realized how much this must have bothered her. “I’m so glad that you know. It was horrible not being able to talk to anyone about Diego and me.”
Diego and Toni. I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
I pulled back. “Are you dating?”
“We didn’t really put a label on what we have, but I think we are.” She didn’t sound certain.
“So how was it?” Then I grimaced, realizing that Toni would have to tell me about doing it with my brother. I really wasn’t ready for that conversation. At least it distracted me from Savio’s impossible behavior.
Toni made a face. “Do you really want to know?”
I didn’t, but Toni was my friend and I could tell that she wanted to share. “Yes, but please be vague.”
Toni giggled and I fell in. Her expression became tender—in love, and suddenly I was worried for her. I’d have to talk to Diego the moment he picked me up. “He was very careful. I didn’t think he could be like this. He kept asking me if I was okay.”
I tried to keep a neutral face, which was difficult, considering I was imagining Diego with Toni. She regarded me with a knowing look. “You’re freaked out, right?”
“It takes some getting used to.”
“I know,” she said. “But wouldn’t it be amazing if we became sisters-in-law?” Alarm bells rang in my head. I wanted nothing more than that, but I wasn’t sure about Diego.
My thoughts drifted back to Savio. Toni had taken what she wanted, without care and worry. She was free to do so. Her family wasn’t traditional.
Not to mention that Diego, unlike Savio wasn’t
