“Look at the two of us!” Douglas threw an arm around Angus’s shoulder and turned to the others. “Still twins, just like the lass said!”
“What… are you doing here?” Angus’s voice sounded strangled, as well it might. All the crew members in the bunkhouse had focused their cameras on this scene. Soon the whole world would see him faltering and fumbling his way through this surprise. He hadn’t made such a fool out of himself since the show started.
“I’ve come to marry your girl!” Douglas exclaimed. “Since you’ve seen fit to toss her over for this new one.” He gestured to Leslie with his free hand. “We heard all about it and figured we’d better keep that bairn of yours in the family. Always thought Win was a beauty. Never did see what she saw in you, but hopefully she’ll see the same thing in me, eh?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“Are you serious?” Angus lunged at him, as if they were still two boys scrapping in his family’s front room, but Clay quickly stepped between them, nearly receiving the punch Angus intended for his cousin.
“Easy, Angus,” Clay said. “I’m sure your cousin is joking.”
Douglas laughed over Clay’s shoulder. “That’s right, cousin, take it easy. Come on, it’ll solve all your problems, won’t it? That’s what your new little lass told me.”
Angus shook off Clay and turned on Leslie. “How do you figure that?”
“He’s the perfect replacement for you!”
“Replacement? How did you even know about him?” This couldn’t be happening, but there was Douglas grinning at him as if the whole thing was a big joke.
“I know how to use the internet.” Leslie looked pleased as punch. “I said to myself, ‘Self, how can I throw my wily rival off my man’s scent?’ And my self said, ‘Ask for help,’ so I did. I put an ad on the show’s website asking for anyone who thought they could keep Win from my man, and Douglas answered. I knew as soon as I saw his photograph he was the one to get the job done.” She turned to Win. “Rival, I bet Douglas here would even let you call him Angus now and then, in the heat of the moment so to speak, wouldn’t you?” she asked Douglas.
Angus couldn’t believe she’d said that out loud.
“Well, now, lass, that’s going a bit too far, I think.” Douglas scratched the back of his head.
But Leslie wasn’t listening. “So, that’s that. I’ll marry Angus, and Win, you’ll marry Douglas, and you’ll never know the difference.”
“Uh… I think I’ll know the difference,” Win said, finding her voice.
“He’s not me,” Angus pointed out, a little stung by Leslie’s inference that the two of them were interchangeable. He was nothing like his cousin.
“And you’re not me, either,” Douglas said stoutly. “More’s the pity. Win here is getting the better part of the deal, that’s for sure.”
“Oh, hush,” Leslie said. “I’ll whip Angus into shape in no time.”
“Whip me into shape?” Did she think he needed that? Angus found his anger growing. Win had never mentioned any shortcomings. Who was Leslie to think she’d discovered any?
“That roving eye of yours,” Leslie said as if reading his mind. “That’s got to go. But it will. We’ll marry and they’ll marry and everyone will be happy, except we’ll have to build another tiny house, which is going to be difficult before the wedding, but maybe you can have Walker’s, except that Avery seems to want it, and now that I think about it I should have found a man for Avery, too, while I was at it, right? She’s been pining way too long, and I don’t think she can forgive Walker for not trusting her, which is interesting because I forgave Angus, didn’t I, but then not everyone is as decisive as I am. I made up my mind to marry Angus, and that’s what I’m going to do, because when I say I’m going to do something I do it, no matter what. Do you have any cousins who look like twins?” she asked Walker.
The man’s eyebrows shot up.
“Well, do you? You know, this whole strong silent type will get you only so far, and it’s probably why you and Avery are still on the outs because how can you expect a woman to stop being mad if you won’t even talk to her? Some women like makeup sex, and that’s probably what you’re holding out for, but let me give you a tip, the makeup sex comes after the makeup talk, so start talking, buster.”
She stared at him for a full five seconds, during which Walker seemed at a loss to find any words at all. Angus didn’t blame him. He was having trouble finding them himself. Leslie rolled her eyes with a dramatic sigh. “Oh, forget I even asked, you’re hopeless. I’ll just ask that grandmother of yours next time I see her. She’s over here all the time.”
Judging by the alarmed looks shared around the room, Angus wasn’t the only one who doubted that conversation would go well.
“Anyway, Douglas, meet Win, your future bride. Win, meet Douglas.”
“I’m not marrying this man!” Win shook Douglas’s proffered hand automatically, but she stayed focused on Leslie. “If you really think this guy is the same as Angus, why don’t you marry him?”
Angus perked up. It was a good question—and it really would solve all their problems.
Leslie shook her head. “I’m not the kind of bird dog that gets shaken off my scent so easily. I came here with a mission. Marry Angus, whip Base Camp into shape and make this place and these people all they can be.”
“You take a lot on yourself, don’t you?” Win snapped.
Color rose in Leslie’s cheeks, but before she could answer, Douglas inserted himself into the conversation.
“Now, lass, don’t jump to rash conclusions about me,” he said to Win.
