The afternoon was winding down, the shade on the porch and the light breeze helping make the heat bearable. Liam searched the horizon for signs of rain clouds, but there weren’t any.
“Back in high school you split up Dad and Enid because you were jealous. Sounds like you dated him out of spite. Why on earth did you marry him? I know rivalries can run deep,” he said, thinking of Lance, “but didn’t you realize you were taking it too far?”
“I was a teenager,” she pointed out. “I wasn’t thinking through anything clearly back then. Graduation was looming, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do other than get married.” She looked down at her hands. “That’s what most of my friends were doing.”
Liam frowned. “You didn’t want to wait to see if someone you liked better came along?”
“Your father was a nice guy.” She smiled wistfully. “Maybe I wasn’t head over heels in love with him, but I liked him just fine, and I thought we could make a go of it. I was restless. I didn’t know what to do with that feeling. I guess I figured settling down and having a family would fix it. I didn’t give Enid a whole lot of thought, if I’m honest. Seemed like she was always raring to take on the world. Figured she’d make her way just fine. I guess that was a mistake.”
“You stuck here with Dad a long time.” He took a long drink, and the tart liquid soothed his parched throat. His mother’s glass was almost empty. He probably should have asked if she wanted a refill.
“Once you have a family, Liam, you do your best to keep it together. I guess ultimately I failed at that, but I didn’t set out to.”
Liam supposed he could relate. It was easy to get in over your head. You made a commitment you thought you could handle, and by the time you found you were wrong, there was no way out. Football had been like that. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t been quarterback—and captain. If he hadn’t had so much pressure on him, maybe he’d never let his drinking get out of control.
“Things are never as cut and dried as you might think,” she went on. “Don’t think I was never happy, either, because I loved all of you, even your father—even when I left him.”
“Don’t,” Liam said, his fingers tightening around his glass. He didn’t need her to bullshit him. “If you loved us, you never would have abandoned us.”
“I hope you’re never in a position to have to make a choice like I did,” she countered. “It’s easy to sit where you are now and throw stones. Talk to me twenty years from now when you’ve done a little more living and life’s thrown you a few more curve balls.”
“You walked out on us.”
“I asked you to join me as soon as I could,” she shot back. “You didn’t want to.” She waved off his protests. “Has it ever occurred to you I did you a favor, leaving when I did?”
“No.” Of course it hadn’t. How on earth could that count as a favor?
“I never liked living in Chance Creek, but all you kids took after your father. You and Noah always lived and breathed the ranch, and even Maya and Stella were more interested in riding and line dancing than anything I could do with them in the city. I couldn’t stand to stay here anymore—even before I thought your father cheated on me. If I’d stayed, my bad attitude would have poisoned Chance Creek for all of you.”
“But…” Liam couldn’t think of what to say. It couldn’t be right to leave your kids, but it was true that in some ways life had become easier when she was gone. It was as if all the rest of them understood each other—understood what it meant to be a Turner—in a way she never had. He’d breathed easier after a while, knowing he wouldn’t walk into a fight between his parents when he got home from school or being out. Knowing the ranch would keep running, everyone would do their chores and no one would complain all the time about the heat, the flies, the lack of exciting things to do in town.
“When William cheated, or whatever it was he was doing”—Mary waved a hand, as if it didn’t matter, putting Liam even more on edge—“I figured I didn’t owe him anymore, and it was such a relief. I could go where I wanted. Do the kinds of things I like to do, without anyone putting me down for it.”
“When did anyone put you down?”
She looked askance at him. “All the time.”
“Name once.”
“Remember our vacation to Washington, DC?”
Hell. Liam did remember that. He’d never spent a worse week in his life. They’d driven overnight, crammed into his father’s old Chevy truck, and stayed in a cheap hotel in a part of the city that had seen better days. Liam hadn’t been able to sleep for all the traffic noise and sirens that went on outside all night. During the day, they’d walked endless miles between monuments and government buildings while their parents bickered about the cost of everything.
“All I wanted was one day at the American Art Museum. One lousy day. We’d done the National Air and Space Museum, the natural history museum, everything everyone else wanted to do. You all couldn’t give me one single day.”
Shame washed through him. She was right. They’d been worn out by that time, overwhelmed with too much culture, too many museums, too many lines and crowds, all of them out of their depth. They’d outright rebelled at the thought of going to look at stupid pictures, as he’d summed it up at the time, if he was remembering
