She took my hand and tried to pull me inside. “Let’s stay in. I’m not much of a cook but I’m sure I could rustle something up for us.”
“Nice try, Calamity Jane.”
She dropped my hand and ran her shaking fingers down the front of her dress. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
I took her hands in mine and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Darlin’, I’ll look after you. It’s going to be okay. Baby steps. We’ll leave if you start to panic or feel uncomfortable. I promise.”
She closed her eyes and nodded. “Let’s get this over with.”
Throughout the drive into town, Montana stayed silent, and no matter how much I tried to get her to talk, she barely said a word.
At the restaurant—a local Italian owned by the parents of one of the ranch hands—we sat in the parking lot for over five minutes, neither of us talking.
I broke the silence by saying, “You know you’re one of the strongest, fiercest women I’ve ever met, and that’s saying a lot because the rodeo women are as tough as cowhide.”
She kept her eyes fixed on the parking lot. “I don’t know if being strong is going to be enough tonight. I feel like I need a drink. I feel like I’m going to throw up, and I’m sweating buckets. Any time I went out to dinner, I always got sloshed. Two bottles of white minimum and whoever was unlucky enough to be my date would end up with a glass in his face. God, I was a nightmare.” Her lips twisted into a sad smile. “My mom was right about me.”
She’d only mentioned her parents a few times, and from the small bits I could gather, they’d fucked her up.
“What was she right about?”
“This and that. I know I should let that part of my life and them go. I know I should move on. But it’s like she has her fingers in my belt loops and keeps pulling me back to the past.
“When I was barely twenty, I left her and my dad in my dust and moved in with your cousin. Couldn’t leave my demons behind, though.” She looked up at the roof and squeezed her eyes shut. “I treated him like dirt. Tricia has every right to hate me. I was the Wicked Witch of the West, The Sanderson sisters, and Maleficent rolled into one.”
“You said your parents died?”
“She was drunk.” She forced out a watery, bitter-sounding laugh. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I guess. She killed them both.” A tear trickled down her cheek. She swiped it away before I could.
“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t imagine growing up the way she had. My dad and mom for all their bickering loved one another and loved us kids to pieces.
She nodded her thanks. “On nights like tonight when I’m feeling weak, I keep hearing her voice.”
“You need to see yourself as you are now. How I see you.”
“And how’s that?” She smiled weakly. “A stubborn old mule?”
“A beautiful, talented, loving woman.” I reached across the console and grasped her hand. “Have you thought about talking to someone about everything you’ve been through? Everything you’re going through?”
“I don’t trust anyone but you. I can’t let anyone in. No one needs to know the crap that’s in my head.” She pulled her hand from mine and pressed the heels of her hands beneath her eyes. “I’m depressing myself enough to want to slit my wrists. Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”
“See, not so bad,” I said once we were seated. “You didn’t burst into flames when we crossed the threshold. No one came after you with pitchforks.”
Her eyes darted all around, looking for trouble. When she found none, she said, “Give it time.”
The restaurant was quiet with only a few locals and one or two tourists. If anyone recognized Montana, I couldn’t tell.
Her shoulders relaxed a little. She picked up the menu and scanned it, but I could tell she didn’t see the words.
A little girl with red hair and wide blue eyes came up to our table full of confidence. I looked from her to Montana and back again.
“Excuse me, Ms. Montana, can I have a photo with you?”
A lady I assumed was the girl’s mom hurried over. “Jamie,” the mom chastised. “Let Ms. Chambers eat in peace.”
“But, Mom. She’s right there.”
Montana stood, a little shaky on her feet, and smiled, her eyes filled with gratitude. “It’s quite all right. I’d love to have my photo taken with you, sweet girl.”
“Oh, okay,” the mom said, sounding surprised. “Thank you. I wasn’t sure if she should come over here what with…”
Montana flinched, but not enough for anyone but me to notice. “I’m so happy she did.”
The mom ran back to her table to grab her phone while Montana chatted with the little girl about her favorite song and what she liked best in school. When the mom came back, she snapped several photos, then after a few hugs and thank yous, they both went back to their table.
“Look at that, you didn’t have a panic attack because someone recognized you.”
“She was adorable. I’m surprised her mom didn’t yank her away from me in case I did something that would have mentally scarred her daughter for life.”
“People don’t hate you the way you think they do.”
With every minute that passed, she relaxed a little more.
Near the end of dinner, she set down her silverware and tilted her head. “Now that I’ve done something I really didn’t want to do, there’s something I want you to tell me.”
“The meaning of life? Why are we here? Are aliens real?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, and everyone knows aliens are real. Why are you so determined to win in Vegas?”
