He was in his skin form right now, and saliva instantly rushed my mouth at the offering of blood, but I shook my head. “I can’t take your blood when you’re weak from no nourishment.”
“I’m okay. Really. Take what you need.”
The throbbing in my fangs intensified, and I felt venom drip down the sides and land on my lip. His dark eyes followed when my tongue darted out to lick the venom away.
“Give me a kiss, and I’ll give you a drink.”
I stared at him, horrified. “What? No.”
He chuckled. “One kiss. One sip. That seems fair.”
Gods, I was thirsty. I was aching to find out if he tasted as good as he smelled. Even my spider wanted me to taste his blood.
“No.”
He tilted his head in that thoughtful way of his. “What have they forced you to do?”
“What?”
“You’re scared to drink from me. And it’s more than you simply worrying about me being too food-deprived to give blood,” he decided. “So is your blood thirst tied together with how your demon feeds?”
All the humans I’d fucked and killed flashed before my eyes, and I felt the blood drain from my face.
“The Spector man who ordered us in here mentioned watching you feed. What do they make you do?”
The tips of my ears went red hot. I didn’t want to tell him, but he persisted.
“I’ve heard talk,” he said carefully.
My eyes flashed to his. “So you know?” I asked, both angry and embarrassed. “You know how they make me feed?”
“I’m asking.”
“Fine. I feed off of energy. Someone’s life. But I can only get it once I’ve been…”
“Been what?” he persisted.
“Penetrated,” I said with shame, dropping my eyes. Admitting it out loud made me sick. It sounded so fucking wrong.
“So that’s what they make you do? They bring you humans to fuck and then you feed off them and kill them?”
I nodded miserably. “Yeah, happy now?” I asked bitterly. “You’re stuck in isolation with a fucking monster.”
He cocked his head to the other side. “Is that what you think? That you’re a monster?”
“Aren’t I?” I challenged. “Aren’t all of us?”
“If that’s the way you choose to see it. But I personally would have to disagree.”
I stared at him incredulously. “How? How can you deny it?”
“Power doesn’t make a monster. A monster makes himself.”
I shook my head, feeling irrationally angry. “You haven’t seen what I do. What my spider makes me do. As soon as someone...well, as soon as they enter me, I latch onto their essence and drain them dry. It’s vicious.”
“You have to feed,” he answered with an annoyingly calm tone. “Just because it’s a different way than you’re used to, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I’m fucking killing people,” I snapped. “Of course it’s wrong. And you’re delusional if you think otherwise.”
“I’m not talking about the end result. Obviously, that’s something you need to learn how to control if you can. But if you can control it, then simply feeding off of one’s essence wouldn’t make you a monster. It’s no different than feeding off of someone’s vein, right?”
I opened my mouth before closing it again like a gaping fish. Could I learn to control it? Could I learn to feed without killing them completely? The thought never crossed my mind. My spider was always in total control, draining until there was nothing left. But maybe he was right. Maybe I could cut it off.
“Let me give you some advice, from one monster to another,” he put in.
“Fine. What advice?”
“Stop fighting her,” he said simply.
I tensed at his words. “I can’t do that. She’s a demon. Wrong. Unnatural.”
“She’s a part of you,” he interrupted. “Whether you like it or not, you and your spider are joined together now. The sooner you stop fighting her, the sooner you can learn to work with her and control your new abilities.”
I looked down at my lap and picked at my dry, cracking cuticles.
“If you want to fight against Spector, you’re going to fail. Unless you embrace what you are and use it to your advantage,” he said firmly. “Stop treating your demon like a tumor you want to pluck out. Let her thrive inside of you, and you’ll thrive right along with her. She’ll make you stronger if you let her.”
I let his words sink in for a moment before letting out a long sigh. “Let’s see if you still feel that way in a couple more days. My spider is already hungry, and you’re the only person here,” I replied.
I expected fear or unease to cross his features, but instead I was greeted with a smile.
“I look forward to it, Widow.”
Chapter 7
I was fucking hungry. Starving. Ravenous. Dying. Again.
Just like when I first arrived at Spector, I couldn’t tell time in the tank. I wasn’t sure how many days had passed, but I knew I’d gone long enough between feedings that I felt hollowed from the inside out.
Tomb didn’t seem scared of me, despite the growing manic frenzy building in my chest. We spoke some, but the hunger was beginning to be too much. It took most of my concentration just to hold it and my spider at bay. Every once in a while, I’d realize that she’d come out, watching Tomb in her predatory way. She was fascinated by him. And just like with Crow, there was something else too. A deeper craving that went beyond the need to feed. It scared me.
“You don’t look so good,” Tomb said from his corner of the room.
He’d been doing push-ups for the past half hour, tempting me with his chiseled, sweaty body.
Every slick of sweat that dripped down his muscles made my tongue dart out to lick my lips. Every masculine grunt made me hold in a whimper. My spider wanted him. I wanted him. It was getting harder and harder to hold back.
“I’m fine,” I gritted,
