Strong arms lifted me up. Gentle birds settled on my limbs. Warmth brushed across my cheeks, making the wetness from my grief turn to steam.
“We’ve got you,” they said again.
And they did.
The darkness of sleep claimed us.
Pain swept over me like the sharp, brittle ends of a broom. It raked over me, scraping me into consciousness.
“Easy, baby,” a voice said as my eyes opened.
I blinked around at Risk’s bedroom before my eyes trailed to my body. I was naked and sore, but fully healed. My mates hadn’t pressured me at all, just let me be in my grief, but at some point during the night, the bullet wounds and other injuries I’d sustained had become too much. I slipped between the three of my mates on the bed and pleaded with them to help me forget and to heal.
They were tender. Slow. They gave me soft kisses and reverent touches and gentle love. Every time a tear would trail down my cheek, Crow’s lips were there to kiss it away. Each knotted muscle was massaged by Tomb’s sure hands until my body uncoiled and relaxed. And every sorrowful shiver that threatened to rack my body was pushed away with the warmth of Risk’s body pressed against mine.
They took care of me in every possible way, slowly bringing my body to pleasure again and again, until every physical wound was healed and my mind was able to sleep.
It was nice to forget for a little while.
But now I was awake, wholly consumed with my mourning, wishing that they could heal my emotional wounds too.
Aunt Marie was dead.
The agony of that fact was stuck in my mind on repeat. I couldn’t stop seeing every memory of what had happened—of the moment when her life was ripped away from her in careless violence.
“They killed her,” I whispered, like the realization was still sinking into my brain.
I’d always tried to take care of her. But it was her connection to me that had gotten her killed. I hated Spector, but most of all, I felt a distant hate with myself. I had wanted a steady job so desperately that I willingly signed my life away, which led to a chain of events that killed the one person I treasured most in this world.
“We won’t let them get away with this,” Tomb growled while stroking my tear-stained cheek.
“How? How are we going to do that? How am I still alive? My spider… She killed…”
I refused to feel guilty about what I’d done. The guards earned every bit of wrath they’d gotten. I could still hear their screams, their pleas for help. I could still taste their blood.
“You’re too valuable to Spector,” Risk answered. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, his dark hair a delicious mess, like he’d been anxiously running his hand through it all night. The dark circles under his eyes seemed out of place for his usually carefree and handsome face, and his tie was gone, leaving just his dress shirt which was unbuttoned at the top. “They sent us in to calm you down. Fucking Collector. Every time you killed a guard, he grinned, like it thrilled him. I think he was intrigued at your ability to fully manifest into your demon’s body. That took an incredible amount of power. He’ll be interested in that. Will probably want to determine if he can get you to do it again so he can learn how to control it.”
Tomb and Crow stiffened at that, and I grimaced. No, no, no. I couldn’t even think about Belvini trying to control us like that.
“What are we going to do? How are we going to fix this?” I knew in my gut that there was no fixing this. I couldn’t bring Aunt Marie back to life, I could only resurrect the pain. Over and over and over again.
“We don’t have to talk about that right now, Little Spider. You need to rest,” Crow replied tenderly. He reached out and placed a hand on mine, rubbing my cold skin with his thumb.
“We don’t have time to rest. We don’t have time to cope,” I croaked. “What they did was wrong, and they’re about to have more power. We need to get them shut down.”
“We’ve got it handled. Stiles is working with his contact to go public. Right now, you are our priority, Motley. What happened yesterday...we almost lost you. It was like you weren’t going to come back,” Crow said, his violet eyes intent.
The three of them went silent, and I felt a twinge of guilt for giving in to the emptiness my spider offered. It was so easy to hide behind her and escape my sadness. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Don’t you fucking say it,” Risk gritted while standing up. He started stomping across the floor of our small safe haven, muttering to himself and clenching his fists. “None of this would have happened if I had stayed with you.” He paused and turned to look at me, regret written all over his face. “I’m sorry. It was my responsibility to see you safely back in our room, and I didn’t do it.”
“Risk—” I began, but he cut me off.
“No. Don’t,” he warned, anger flashing in his eyes. “Crow’s right. We almost fucking lost you, and if that had happened…” He whirled around. “Fuck!” he yelled through clenched teeth before throwing a blast of fire crumbling into the drywall.
Flames flared up, and smoke filled the room, but it was Risk’s guilt that permeated through the air. I stood up, clutching the sheets
