Hamilton let out a lingering, long sigh before speaking to me again. “Mom and Jack were much older when I was born. They were a happy family of three up to that point. Jack was in the height of his career. Mom was in the height of her depression. It wasn’t until the news broke that Jack knocked up some coed and had me that shit went south. I guess Mom had been cool with raising me as long as the world didn’t know her husband was a cheating cunt. I was born a mistake. I’ll probably die one, too,” he said, his voice even, despite the painful words.
“That’s…awful.”
“Joseph liked to remind me every day of my goddamn life how I ruined everything. I used to think it was his only child syndrome, but now I think it’s more. When Mom died…it got worse. Jack let Joseph push me around because he wanted me to suffer for existing, but was too much of a coward to do it himself.”
Jack confused me. He was callous and pretentious, but he cared about Hamilton in a way that felt authentic. I didn’t have all the facts, so I didn’t feel like I had a right to pass judgment. Hamilton was raised by them. His feelings were valid. Still, I wanted to figure out Jack’s perspective since he seemed to genuinely want a relationship with his son, despite Joseph’s blatant hatred.
“Have you ever wanted to meet your real mom?” I asked.
“I had a real mom. Her name was Nikki Beauregard. She was smart. Tenacious. She loved me even when she didn’t have to. She fought through mental health issues. Have you ever wondered if your mother resented you?”
I frowned. “Why would you ask something like that?”
“We’re sharing things about our lives, are we not? It’s why you’re so obedient. You think you have to be perfect to make up for the fact that you exist.”
My eyes burned hot with emotion. “That’s not true,” I choked out.
“Isn’t it though? I should know. I lived that way until the day Mom died. What is it going to take for you to live for yourself?”
“I am living for myself.”
“You’re cute when you lie.” I shook my head and swallowed the thick ball of emotions in my throat. “Have fun tonight. If Jared touches you, I’ll break every bone in his hand while you watch. I know you like possessive fuckers. I’m not one to normally be exclusive, but I’m starting to see the appeal.”
“You haven’t even taken me on a date!” I exclaimed.
“Keep fighting this, baby. It makes me hard.”
I rolled my eyes and ended the call. Fucking Hamilton.
Jared drove a Tesla. He zipped us around town while excitedly talking about a lecture series coming up that he wanted us to go to. I listened and interjected at the right times, but still felt off from my conversation with Hamilton. “You’re going to love this bar. It’s the best kept secret in Greenwich. The craft drinks are strong, and the vibe is legit. It’s painfully ordinary. Cheap drinks. Beer-soaked floors. You don’t have to be a trust fund baby to get in. It’s totally your style.”
I didn’t know what a legit vibe was, but I was humored by Jared’s enthusiasm. We’d been going to school for a week, and he spent nearly every day with me. I liked spending time with him. He was smart, compassionate, funny, and a good study partner. I struggled at first with his constant flirting, but eventually I just realized that it was who he was as a person. He hadn’t pressured me into dating him anymore, but sometimes I’d catch him staring at me with his heavy, heated gaze.
“Are you going to dance with me?”
“I’m not very good at dancing,” I admitted with a grin as he pulled into an old parking lot with potholes and cars filling nearly every available space. Jared carelessly parked his Tesla up on the curb. He said this was the best kept secret in Greenwich, but this place wasn’t a secret at all. Everyone in town was here. Maybe the people of Greenwich liked the painfully ordinary more than they let on.
“Everyone is good at dancing,” Jared insisted.
We got out of the car and walked through the door. I stepped onto the scuffed floor and nearly crashed into a drunk girl dancing by herself. Jared laughed and grabbed me around the waist, easily maneuvering me out of the way. “Let’s go to the bar, gorgeous,” he whispered in my ear before easing me over to a barstool.
The bar was eclectic and cozy. Waiters serving drinks walked around the room with their trays in their hands. A couple in a corner booth was making out, the two women were devouring each other whole. Spit was flying. Trembling hands were groping one another. A man sitting by himself was taking shot after shot after motherfucking shot, and a table of fraternity guys waved at Jared the moment I sat down. “Can you stay right here for a minute? I’m going to say hello to my friends. Be right back. Order whatever you want.”
I nodded at his back as he walked away. It was kind of curious that he didn’t want to introduce me, but maybe he didn’t want us to lose our seats. I placed my purse on his stool and stared at his back as he said his hellos. After a few bro hugs, some of them turned to face me while whispering to Jared. I wondered what they were saying.
“This is why I don’t date men. What an asshole,” Jess said. Wait. Jess? She was on the other side of the bar top, wiping it down with a rag and glaring at Jared. “He just left you here to go say hello to his frat assholes. Why didn’t he introduce you?” The fact that she was saying my thoughts
