I look up at Captain Aelon.
“Aren’t you worried Toads are going to Orb-Shift in right now? You speak of conquering the universe together. How can we do that if they kill you? You can’t win every battle, Aelon.”
“So far, I have,” he snorts. “Toads are cowards. They won’t Orb-Shift. Too many ships have been lost to the rift lately, and their species doesn’t have the guts to take any unnecessary risk.”
I’d heard that rumor before, and now it’s confirmed. It means we won’t be able to Orb-Shift out of this system tonight, when Sawoot, Theme and I steal a Reaver.
But I don’t dwell on those thoughts, in case Aelon can detect them through the Bond.
“So, you have the guts, do you? You’d risk everything you’ve just told me about for something as cheap as revenge? Because killing those Toads from your hundred years of service didn’t bring back those sixteen women, did it, Aelon? If that didn’t give you peace, how is going on an endless quest for blood and vengeance going to do so?”
He suddenly stands stock still. Aelon’s blue eyes pierce me.
“You cannot change my nature, Tasha.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I nod. Then, I stand. “I’m going to go, Aelon.”
“Then go.”
He turns his back to me, brooding.
I brought up painful memories for him – but Aelon’s living in the past, reliving the same tragedy of those sixteen women he couldn’t save again and again.
My heart aches for him. How hopeless he must have felt, knowing that if he’d tried to fight the Toads alone, on board their own ship, he wouldn’t have been able to do anything except die alone and unremembered. His only chance was to get his General to agree to an attack – and he’d lost all his faith in the Empire that day, when his General had refused.
Now, I understand why Aelon works for himself and not for the Aurelian Empire.
I cross the room and slam the button to open the door. Garrick is waiting patiently in the hallway for me. The sight of him is welcome and comforting.
There’s no tension with Garrick. There’s no worry about what he’s going to do next. It’s not fair that we can’t choose who we’re Bonded to...
…but, then again, I’d still choose Aelon’s triad.
It hurts, but it’s true. Their pain is my pain, now. The worst part is that I’m going to contribute to it – and leaving them will put a scar on my soul as much as theirs.
I wish I knew how to help them. I wish I knew how to heal Aelon.
Garrick escorts me to my room. There are no Aurelians out in the hallways right now. Most have already left for the surface of the moon, to fight the Scorp, while the others are down on Tarrion preparing to ambush the Toads.
It’s eerily quiet on this old ship. The lights flicker, and I can see panels that are falling off the walls. This magnificent, fearsome ship is in disrepair.
I realize I forgot to thank Garrick for the escort as soon as I’m back in my room. My mind is just too full. I sit on the bed, waiting and plotting.
Rage is boiling up in Aelon – and I’ve only succeeded in making him want to kill Toads more.
Vinicus and Iunia have their own fierce anger lurking in their souls, and it’s just stoked by their leader’s obsession with vengeance. They weren’t there when he saw those women being tortured, but they must have felt his pain through their shared Bond. He must have telepathed what was happening to them. They, too, must have felt his frustration when he tried to get their General to rescue those women – and had their demands ignored.
That General was a real bastard. Some Aurelians are like him, though – too many. They view humans as nothing more than gnats. If he’d been a better commander, perhaps Aelon could have saved those women. He could have lived a happy life.
It just shows how important command is – and how it can affect lives just as the influence of a parent does. For Aurelians – most of whom are born without parents – that’s only doubly so.
My heart aches for Aelon. Seeing those women… that sticks with you.
How could he ever shake it from his mind? How could he deal with the guilt of looking into their eyes and promising them he’d come back… and then failing?
Aelon’s right. Toads are scum. Even the best of their species will swindle you given half the chance. The worst of them are monsters far worse than even Scorp.
I understand Aelon’s thirst for vengeance. I just wish the Bond could have changed him. I wish he’d realize there are more important things that killing.
But the Bond doesn’t change you. It just enhances you. Aelon’s lust for vengeance will only grow fiercer through the Bond.
I’m going to get us away from the captain and his death wish. I’m going to keep the loyal members of my crew alive, even if I have to sacrifice any future with my Bonded triad.
My stomach rumbles. It’s hard to think about food right now, but I need to keep my strength up for tonight.
I step to the replicator. “AI. Food. A sandwich.”
There’s a hum as the replicator in the corner of my room makes a simple sandwich for me. It looks as bleak as the military rations that nourish us on the Wayward Scythe, but food is fuel to me right now. It’s always been like that. There’s never been a budget for a replicator on my own ship.
The Instigator is a battle axe – an old warhorse that’s fought a hundred battles and will face a hundred more under Aelon’s command – so it’s understandable that their sustenance is no more luxurious.
As I wait for my sandwich, I probe the auras in my mind.
I detect an eagerness in the auras of Vinicus and Iunia. Even rational, aloof Iunia is looking forward to killing Toads
