“Now, if you don’t get in that Reaver and leave, I’m going to chain you up, throw you in it, and waste one of my pilots to take you off this ship.”
I lose.
I can’t convince him. It’s not a logical argument. By logic, I’m on his side – Toads are willing to kill innocents, and therefore their kind need to be snuffed out of existence. Giving them the Orbs makes us just as culpable as they are for whoever gets hurt by those powerful objects. We’d be soaking our hands in blood that hasn’t even been spilled yet.
But it will be.
Giving those Toads the Orbs is murder.
It shames me, but I would murder those innocents if it meant I could be with my Bonded triad – but only if they’d put everything aside for me.
Not just their anger and their need for revenge – but their very selves.
Some Aurelians, like Garrick and Aelon, are born to protect the weak and helpless. Others, like the General who’d laughed in Aelon’s face when he’d tried to save those women from that Toad ship, live for their own power and prestige. Their version of honor is twisted with pride – a different pride than the kind that’s set Aelon on this doomed path of vengeance and bloodshed.
Perversely, I’m trying to turn Aelon into the second type of Aurelian – the kind that would sacrifice others for himself. It kills me to do so. It makes me feel like I’ve become something horrible. I can’t believe I’d be willing to let those miners die if it meant getting out with my three Aurelian lovers alive and safe.
Aelon steps forward towards me. He stands above me, but he doesn’t loom over me like he usually does. Right now, he’s not trying to intimidate me. He’s torn – deep in his heart, his aura shattered between honor, vengeance, love, and loss.
“Tasha… Gods, if I’d never met you, I’d already have The Instigator lying in wait for those Toad bastards on the moon. I have to make my own path, Tasha. I’ve done it all my life. Please – leave.”
I’m so ashamed at the wetness in my eyes. I’ve spent the last three years trying to project strength and leadership. I’ve led brutish men who didn’t respect me – and I’ve led them well. I’m not used to feeling so powerless.
Hell, I’m not used to caring about anyone I can’t save. I’ve always been responsible for my crew – but nobody else. I knew I could keep Sawoot and Theme safe, but I can’t save Aelon, his triad, or the crew of The Instigator.
I should have warned them and left. Now, Aelon’s wasting valuable time because of me. Instead of fortifying his defensive position, his triad is speaking uselessly with me.
My presence here endangers him. It endangers them. If I care about my triad, I need to leave.
My triad. They are mine, just as I am theirs. They’re linked to me for eternity. I chose the Bond – and even if I was naïve to its effects, I wasn’t naïve enough to think I wouldn’t be important to the Aurelians. I chose to abandon them. I chose to steal the benefits of the Bond, but ignore the link it forged between us.
I’ve done everything to keep my crew safe, but I’ve failed in keeping my triad safe. I’ve been so selfish. I wanted the three men to change. I wanted Aelon to choose me over his lust for revenge and violence.
But I can see it in his eyes – what he’s chosen over me. There’s no anger in him. He’s passionless in his need to kill the Toads – but relentless.
He can’t choose me over his honor. He can’t choose me over his need to protect the lives of innocents.
A shudder runs down my body as I look up at my honorable mate, and I suddenly see him clearly – as if for the first time.
If he ran away with me – which I know he’d never do - I’d probably never be able to live with myself. I’d have blood on my hands for thousands of years. You can’t take back something like that.
I suddenly realize that if I demand the Aurelians recognize my independence and grant me my freedom, I must do the same for them.
“Okay, then,” I growl. “We stay. We fight. At least let me pilot a Reaver. I can help in the battle.”
If my triad is going to die, I’m going to be fighting there right alongside them. I’m going to fight to the very end for the sake of our future – even if our future is a cold, unmarked grave in space.
Iunia steps forward. “Aelon. We can’t run. Not with the miners we must protect.”
Aelon turns to him. “You don’t think I know that?”
He nods. “I do know that – but I also know how much it pains you. How about this? Give the Toads ten Orbs. They’ll likely kill us and take all of them if we don’t bargain with them, but Tasha is right. They’re cowards. They already have a mothership and a fleet. They could kill plenty of innocents without our Orbs.”
Aelon’s face hardens. Iunia continues.
“Ten Orbs is reasonable. It’s a fortune, but ultimately giving them to the Toads will result in less death and destruction than if we try to fight them. We can fly a single Reaver out to within sub-communication range, so their blockers don’t stop the message, and then we can make them the offer.”
Ten Orbs.
Ten Orbs that would be used for killing and mayhem. A Toad who’d be willing to attack a mining camp is willing to do far worse…
But if the Toads destroy The Instigator, they’ll get everything. They’ll kill us all, take the Orbs as they float in space amid the wreckage of The Instigator, and then destroy the mining colonies regardless.
This bargain with the devil might be the only way to keep the miners
