“I missed you so much,” she said and then looked away. I pulled her into me and put my arm over her so we were even closer.
“I missed you too,” I said putting my mouth to her forehead. I felt horrible, I hated seeing her so vulnerable. “I won’t ever leave you again, I promise,” I vowed, wishing I could go back to that day and change everything.
“You’ve broken your promises to me before,” she said honestly. It hurt but I deserved it.
“I know but it won’t ever happen again.” I’d never make Mickey hurt again, life without her was no life at all and I’d wasted too much time already. If there was one good thing about me, I never made the same mistake twice. And honestly even if I wanted to live without her, I knew I couldn’t, I’d tried and failed miserably. We were too connected, too attached, she was part of me and the very best part. The part that gave my life meaning. I held her close to me, afraid she’d change her mind and tell me to leave but she didn’t tell me to go, she didn’t say anything. Her silence worried me now but I was still too relieved to have her and be holding her.
“What the hell happened with you and— James!” Gert shouted, barging into Mickey’s room and seeing me. We both sat up, now I felt awkward.
“Hey,” I said quietly. Mickey squeezed my hand, probably sensing my anxiety.
“Mick, we need to talk,” Gert said, furious, ignoring my greeting. This time I gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it and my hold on her.
“I’ll be back soon,” she whispered, “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t cry if I break a nail,” she said making me laugh. The minute she was gone I began to get curious. Where were all the pictures of us? I still had all of mine, hidden away in my room. I quickly looked through her photo album, nothing. I decided to do something beyond wrong since we weren’t best friends anymore. I opened her bedside table drawer and carefully removed the hidden bottom, where I knew she kept all of her hidden secrets. We used to hide all sorts of stuff in there: letters, pictures, candy, and junk food. It was way out of bounds to look in there but I had to and I couldn’t have been happier with what I found. All the pictures of us together, the letters we’d written each other, and all the memorabilia of our friendship. I found: a necklace whose match I had, a video tape of us at Gran’s seventy-fifth birthday, a comic I had forgotten at her house, along with a ruler and two white marbles. It was all my stuff, all me. I was her biggest secret. I was what she thought about most! I put her drawer back in place, smiling to myself. I lay on her bed, knowing she’d be back soon.
“Why are you smiling like that?” she asked as she re-entered the room.
“No reason,” I told her, trying to stop smiling but unable I was far too happy and felt too good.
“What did you do?” she asked, looking a little anxious now.
“I was just thinking of you and Gert fighting it out, out there.” I chuckled. She didn’t buy it but didn’t press any further. She smiled at me and sat next to me on the bed.
“You know she’d never risk ruining her hair.” I laughed at the truth in that. There wasn’t much Gert would do if her hair was involved. She stayed in when it rained and if she absolutely had to go out, she’d wear a bag over her head, the girl was obsessed with her looks, but then again so were all the girls I dated, all of them the same; vain and obsessive.
I left at dinner time, it would have been way too awkward. It was always somewhat weird because all the girls but Mickey were anorexic and didn’t say a word at the table. Towards the end, Gert started putting her hand on my knee and would keep doing it even when I pushed it off, which was beyond uncomfortable.
“Hey.” I smiled coming into my house. Mom, dad and June all stared at me open mouthed. “I was just with Mickey, so what’s for dinner? I’m starved,” I said, smacking my stomach. They all continued staring, I guess it was the most I’d said at once in a long time.
“Chicken salad,” June answered, smiling so hard I thought her face would crack. Mom and dad’s faces, all became mirror images of June. I hadn’t realized that Mickey had meant that much to them and felt guilty for taking her away from them too. “So, how is she? Did you two have a good time?” she asked enthusiastically.
“Amazing,” I said sharing the feeling. “We played badminton and then talked a lot,” I filled them in.
“Oh sweetheart, you don’t know how happy that makes me,” mom said softly, her green eyes shinning. “You have to have her over for dinner!” she exclaimed. I gulped nervously. The rest of the night went great, everyone was in a good mood and happy. For once, I couldn’t wait for the next day.
Michaela
“What the fuck was James doing here?” Gert asked angrily, breaking the silence at our dinner table.
“Gertrude!” Alyssa exclaimed.
“Sorry mom, what the hell was he doing in your room with you?” she asked again, everyone stared at me, all curious now.
“We were just talking and listening to music, the usual.” I smiled, feeling better than I had felt in a long time and nothing could
