“I’ll be here for the next few days but then I’m leaving to get my apartment set up in London. I’ll be working out of there mostly until the fall,” he explained and I felt my stomach sink even further if that was possible.
“But Christmas…,” I said in disbelief. He nodded, looking equally distraught.
“I know, darling,” he empathized. “I want to be here, but I don’t think it will go well between Alyssa and I,” he explained.
“But what about me?” I asked in a small voice.
“I think you should spend the holidays as much as you can with Gran and the Kirks.” I was so disappointed, dad had never missed a Christmas in the past eleven years.
“And after the holidays, then where do I go?” I asked, feeling so small and alone. Dad held me close, tears hiding in his eyes.
“This is your home, you get to stay here,” he affirmed.
“But they hate me, it’s not home without you.” I teared up, one tear glistened down dad’s cheek and he pulled me into him, hiding my face in his chest and out of view.
“I’m so sorry honey, I wish things weren’t this way,” he said, his voice rough. “It will only be a few months and I’ll come for a few short visits to see you and check up on things and I’m always a call away,” he promised. I felt sad, angry, and a huge array of other emotions, but mostly sad and angry. I was angry this was all happening, especially when I was finally happy again. Now, I was going to lose it all: my home, a piece of my family, dad and maybe even James too. I’d never been overly happy to have Alyssa and the evils in my life but I’d considered them family and it hurt me all the same to be losing them. And dad leaving me with them until the house sold! How could he just abandon me like that! That made me the most upset. But I felt so bad for him and was angry that I couldn’t even be angry with him because I had no idea how he must be feeling and I felt so bad for the pain he was in. I knew he was hurting and that alone hurt me. Things had been going so well, I should’ve known it was all going to go downhill and somehow blow up in my face, it always did. I left dad’s office and escaped to my room, needing some alone time to process all this information and sort through all my emotions. James’ lights were off in his room and I briefly thought of calling him but I was too much of a wreck, I wouldn’t have even been able to form a coherent sentence if I tried. I took a long hot shower, getting off the sweat and grime from the weekend and trying to help soothe my nausea but unfortunately, the water did nothing for my aching stomach and chest. I saw James in him room once I returned to my room. He smiled and drew his blinds, saying hello. I waved, unable to respond in turn. He could tell something was wrong and called me instantly.
“Babe, are you okay?” he asked, worried. I had trouble getting the words out.
“No,” I stated simply, unable to get out anymore. I felt exhausted from everything happening around me and all the change that was to come.
“Okay, I’m coming right over,” he told me, hanging up.
I relayed all the information to James and he held me close to his chest, cuddled up on my bed.
“It’s going to be alright, babe,” he whispered, rubbing my back. “I’m here and you can stay at my place anytime. Hell, I’m sure mom and dad would let you move in if you wanted to!” he laughed weakly, trying to lighten the mood. I wished I could crack a smile, but it was all too much still.
“What’s going to happen to us?” I asked fearful, “After we sell the house, how will we work if I’m in Paris?” It didn’t seem possible.
“We’ll find a way. And you haven’t decided if you’re going to Paris yet, there’s other pastry schools, how about New York? We could for sure make things work from there, I could even go to college there,” he stated positively, smiling at the idea. New York? I hadn’t thought about that before, the dream had always been Paris but I guess it was a possibility.
The next day I stayed mostly at James. Alyssa and dad had told the girls and then they were sorting things out between themselves. So, we all made our escape from the house. James and I played badminton in his back yard, I didn’t want to mope around all day and he had suggested we play and get out minds off the impending doom. I had thought it was a great idea. We were playing and I was focused and determined on beating him, when I heard some shouts coming from my house and the opened window.
“All I ever was to you was someone to look after Michaela and a trophy wife!” Alyssa shrieked at dad. I lost my focus, missing the birdy heading straight for me, it bounced off my chest and landed on the ground but I was too busy listening to the angry words between Alyssa and dad.
“You were never a trophy wife! Trust me,” dad said coldly, “and as for Michaela, you were supposed to be a mother to her! But you never acted like it or showed her a care in the world!” he shouted furiously. It was hard hearing these things and hearing dad talk so
