“You ready?” I asked her as we stood standing in her room, the last of her boxes all packed away in my car. She looked around the empty space, her face sad and it was hard to see, especially since I was sad about it too.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She nodded, taking one last look around and then out the window to my room. She went to close the curtains and came back, taking my hand in hers, I gave it a squeeze and then kissed her.
“I’m going to say my good-byes to the girls and Alyssa,” she told me.
“I’ll wait in the car while you do that.” I nodded understandingly.
“How’d it go?” I asked when she sat down in the passenger seat beside me, she shrugged.
“It went okay I guess, I said my good-byes and hugged them all, the only one that seemed to care in the slightest was Paix,” she told me. That hurt to hear, I couldn’t imagine how she was feeling, they’d been a family for eight years, a dysfunctional family but still a family and to be so cold and uncaring, it was beyond me. “I think the rest of them were happy to be free of me,” she whispered, breaking my heart.
“Well, it’s their loss,” I told her genuinely, they were crazy not to want her! We drove to her Gran’s, where she would be staying the next two weeks and I would be staying with her, up until the final day when she got on that plane. I was so anxious, I was hoping this day wouldn’t come but time had passed in the blink of an eye. I was terrified how things would work, being so far apart and for so long, three years was a long time. But I wanted us to work more than anything. I hadn’t been accepted into the school in New York and that was fine with me, I’d only applied in hopes I could go there with Mickey, otherwise it didn’t even interest me. I had no idea what I was going to do now. Mickey kept saying the world was my oyster but I felt like the world was terrifying, I didn’t know what I wanted to do or be! How was I supposed to know all this so young? It was crazy. All I knew was I wanted to be with Mickey, I really didn’t care about the rest. Gran was so happy to have us both stay with her and seemed to be in good spirits, all things considered.
“What’s going to happen once you leave?” I asked Mickey, as we lay naked breathing heavily.
“I don’t want to think about that now,” she said, getting on top of me again and completely taking my mind off it. Mickey continued to distract me and avoid the topic for the next week, but as they days got closer, I needed to know and figure it out.
“Babe, how is it going to work once you leave?” I asked once again.
“Do we have to do this now?” she sighed and pouted, and then went to rub my thigh.
“Yes, we do. You leave in five days,” I told her, ignoring her suggestive touch and what I was craving. I lived for her body and how it made me feel. How was I going to be able to go without her for half the year, only to have her for a few weeks when she visited?
“I honestly don’t know James,” she sighed deeply.
“Well, do you think it will even work long distance?” I asked, scared of her answer, I held my breath as she hesitated.
“I don’t know,” she started unsure, “I really want it to work but I think it’s going to be hard and I don’t…,” she said slowly, looking off.
“Do you even want to try?” I asked, needing to know. She looked back at me now.
“Are you breaking up with me?” she asked in shock. What?
“God, no!” I answered fast, that was not what I wanted at all, I just wanted to be on the same page.
“Okay, good.” She laughed, “Yes, of course I want to try! I’m scared how it will go as well, but I think if we both want this, it can work,” she assured me.
“Okay,” I said, still feeling anxious.
Michaela
It was here. The day we had been dreading was upon us. I was leaving today and I still had no idea what was going to happen next. I was also scared. Once I got onto that flight the next chapter of my life would be starting, I’d be on my own. Dad was going to meet me in Paris and help me get settled in the first week but then he’d be gone and I’d have no one but myself. I’d be in a foreign
