James
I looked out my window and up at the moon. It was a crescent moon tonight and glowing orange, part of it was covered by clouds. It was pretty. I wondered what Ali would think, she probably wouldn’t care or would ask if I thought it was prettier than her. She was very insecure. There’s only one person I knew who enjoyed the moon and the stars as much as me and that was Mickey, but I’d lost her and anything we had. That night was kind of like this one and I remembered it crystal clear. It was a very dark night, not many stars shining, only the moon was lighting up the almost black sky. The chilly wind went through the trees every now and then, giving you goosebumps and Mickey, her face when I said all those hurtful words, the way she put a hand to her heart and stood there frozen and then all the tears that came from her eyes and how her lips quivered, they shook so much she couldn’t speak and then, the way I left her like that, crying on my front lawn and drove away with Gert, Tiff and the guys. It was cold, even the guys said I was harsh but they all got what they wanted and didn’t complain, and after a few beers we were all laughing about it and coming up with things we could say the next time we saw her and boy, most of them we did.
I looked out to her room, our rooms faced each other, which used to have been useful because we could communicate by blinds or launching paper airplanes through our windows whenever we got in trouble or just weren’t allowed out, now it seemed like a burden. Her curtains were open and her light was on so I had a perfect view of her sitting cross-legged on her bed. I wanted to ask her what she was doing, just sitting there. I even put my hands to the pulley for my blind subconsciously, we had communicated by them so many times but everything was different now. I quickly shut the blinds before she noticed me staring at her. That wasn’t okay, especially since I was the one who spread rumors about her stalking me. I’d spent more time today thinking about Mickey than I had in awhile and I felt terrible. The guilt ate at me.
“Why are you sulking? It was the first day of school, new beginnings, fresh starts, they’re supposed to be fun and here you are in the dark, frowning and being Mr. Grumpy Gills,” June said, jumping on my bed next to me. As far as sisters went, June and I were pretty close.
“Save your psychiatry for someone who needs it,” I groaned at her, annoyed.
“If you tell me what’s wrong, grumpy gills,” she said in a childish voice, which I was used to ever since she decided she wanted to be an elementary school teacher. I groaned again, if there was one thing about June, it was how stubborn she was. If she had her mind set on something it was sure to happen, even if it seemed impossible. How was I going to lie my way out of this one?
“I want to dump Ali,” I said, surprising myself. I hadn’t even been thinking of her and the words popped out of my mouth but what was more surprising was that it was the truth. I know Ali might be pretty and popular, but she was so whiny and complained about everything and never wanted to talk, it was only about hooking up. She wasn’t real and wasn’t into me, just my looks. We never did anything. God, I felt like I was acting like a girl, if I told anyone this, they would never let me live it down. My sister’s white teeth shone in the dark moonlight, telling me she had a big grin on. “What?” I asked.
“Dump her, you really should. To tell you the truth, I’m surprised you even started going out with her,” she admitted, still smiling a little too big.
“Well then, who should I go out with? Oh, wise one.” I asked sarcastically, even though I was kind of interested in her opinion. She was always looking out for me.
“A nice girl, who’s smart and makes you smile,” she answered easily. I went over the popular people I knew but only one name kept popping into my head and it was off limits. “Oh, how’s Mickey? Did you talk to her? She looks amazing. Man, what one summer can do to you! I barely recognize her,” she said trying to antagonize me. June really liked Mickey, my whole family did. Mickey had been one of us and when she stopped coming over and talking to us, they all took it pretty hard. June had been on my case ever since then, asking me at least once a month if I’d spoken to her and she would always get the same answer, no. Until today.
“Yes,” I said simply, surprising her. She jumped up and looked at me intently through the dark. I guess after almost two years a new answer would be quite the shock.
“What did you say?” she asked, flailing her hands like she was about to do the doggy paddle.
“All I said was that she looked good, okay. Nothing else,” I told her frustrated. I just wanted all this Mickey stuff to end. I’d had enough. I’d thought about what happened long enough and I needed to move on and that was hard to do when you were neighbors and when everyone kept bringing it up. I shooed June away, I’d had enough and I didn’t want to hear any more of her questions. The truth was, she didn’t know what happened, no one in my family did, all they knew is what I told them. That we had gotten
