THE NEXT FEW DAYS WENT by in a blur and I was so thankful that all of this had happened after exams, because I still wasn’t fully all there. I had deleted and blocked Chelsea and Chris from my phone and all my social media. After threatening them both with harassment suits, they stopped showing up at my door and I was able to go through the motions. I ate, slept, did school work, clinical, and then did it all over again. Clinical was the hardest because it needed the most focus and required the most amount of interacting. Even Brody knew something was up.
“You okay Leah?” he asked midway through our session. I nodded, only then realizing that he’d been staring at me waiting for a while now. I had been staring off in space thinking about what had become of my life.
“Yeah, sorry Brody. I didn’t mean to space out,” I apologized for my lack of professionalism.
“It’s okay Leah,” he said, patting me on the back comfortingly. “Do you want me to get the football team to beat the shit out of him?” he asked me completely seriously, his usual smug cocky smile nowhere in sight. I shook my head no but smiled at the thought and thoughtfulness of it, until I came to my senses.
“Wait,” I said, my eyes widening. “You know?” I asked, my voice rising in disbelief. This couldn’t get any worse.
“I think everyone does,” he winced on my behalf. Yep, it just got worse. I felt my cheeks heat with embarrassment, totally mortified.
“Don’t be embarrassed. He’s a piece of shit dirtbag,” Brody comforted. I was so angry and done with it all, I just wanted to get past it but then things like this would just pop up and throw me for a loop. There was no getting away from it.
“What are you thinking?” he asked while I was lost deep in thought.
“I’m reconsidering,” I told him.
“What?” he asked, his eyebrow raising in confusion.
“Your offer.” I smiled at his confused face, making him chuckle.
“Just say the word,” he told me. Oh, I wanted to, it was on the tip of my tongue. Now that I had not only lost my boyfriend but my best friend as well, I had no idea what to do with myself. I usually would have talked to Chelsea about everything that happened with Chris and me, but I didn’t have her and I usually would spend my weekend with Chris but that was over. So now, I had no one to talk to and to vent everything to. I had no one to spend my free time with and distract me from everything at hand. I felt so alone. The thought made me realize that I really needed to make some new friends or take up knitting. I hadn’t been aware of how much I had isolated myself since I’d started dating. I had a few friends besides Chelsea but they were more school friends, I’d never really hung out with them out of class.
I decided that starting now, I was going to go out of my comfort zone more often. I was going to make new friends, go out, let my hair down and have fun. This was a new chapter of my life, and it was going to be about me. I was going to be the main character in my own life, not someone on the sidelines any longer. I was no longer going to let my relationships rule my life or be the shadow in my own story, hiding behind my best friend. I was going to live in the moment and enjoy every second of it. I texted one of my friends, Jenny, from my anatomy class and asked her if she was free to hang out. She replied that she was busy with an essay but she’d be free to go out for drinks on Friday night. I quickly replied that I would love to. This was progress for me, my first step and I actually found myself genuinely looking forward to Friday.
“How about we go to MacArthur’s?” Jenny asked, as we walked to my apartment after class Friday, to get ready for our girls’ night out. I was about to say yes but MacArthur’s was where I always went, it was my comfort zone and I needed to get out of that.
“How about Duke’s?” I found myself asking her.
“Do you think we’ll get in?” she asked, nervous. Jenny was like me in a lot of ways, she was shy and reserved, great in school but didn’t get out too much and definitely a good girl, nothing like Chelsea other than her blonde hair and blue eyes.
“Yeah, I’ve been there twice now. It’ll be fun,” I assured her.
“Okay,” she agreed, sounding unsure. I understood her hesitation and had felt it my first time as well.
“Don’t worry; if you don’t like it, we can leave,” I promised. Unlike Chelsea, I would keep my promise. She nodded, looking more comfortable now. I decided to wear a cute pair of red high-waisted shorts with a black low-cut tank top that showed off my cleavage more than usual but still nothing too excessive. I usually didn’t show off my body and although it was nothing sleazy, it was a step for me and I felt good and looked good too. I put on some moisturizer, a light foundation, mascara, and a cute red lipstick and BAM! I was complete with a light spray of fruity perfume.
“You look amazing!” Jenny gushed, eyes wide and grinning.
“Thanks.” I smiled, feeling good about myself, “I decided to try something different.”
“Well, you should stick with it,” she told me, nodding at me with approval. I think I will, I thought to myself.
