“After a while, Caro started crying. Said she only wanted to know more. Said it wasn’t fair that she couldn’t even invite friends over, and that . . .” I didn’t want to get into all the reasons she’d thought our lives weren’t fair. “Eventually, they decided it was best if Caro moved out. The MGA bought us a townhouse in Philadelphia. Caro lives there full-time. My parents alternate: One spends two weeks at the house with me, while the other spends two weeks in Philadelphia with Caro. Then they swap places. They overlap every other weekend, when Caro stays at the house.”
Rainbow looked horrified. “Mom and Dad don’t live together?”
“They spend time together while we’re at school. They miss each other, but are glad to have time away from the MGA. And it’s not far; we often have dinner at the house together.” I was probably convincing myself more than I was convincing Rainbow. “Caro’s happier in the city. She’s much less angry. She has friends and sleepovers. She joined the Asian-American Society at school. We don’t have that in West Ash.”
I always felt a blend of emotions when I thought of Caro moving out. Guilt, because it was my shitty situation that separated our family. Relief, because Caro was happier now that I was no longer weighing her down. And loss, because I heard stories about sisters fighting or stealing each other’s stuff, but Caro and I had always gotten along. I missed her.
I offered Rainbow a Welp, what can you do? smile and turned before I could horrify her further. I admired Lina’s Blu-ray collection in a cabinet under the TV, then studied photos on her shelves. Mom and Lina as kids; my grandparents; Lina and Carolyn and me, grinning in a booth at Franny’s; people I didn’t know.
I stepped inside Lina’s bedroom next, where Red was sorting through clothes.
“Aunt Lina is, uh, bustier than us,” Red said, “but her clothes should fit.”
I was checking out the pile of clothes she’d tossed on the bed when Four entered the bedroom, wrapped in a thick bathrobe. SpongeBob pajama pants poked out underneath.
I hadn’t had a chance to study her before. Her hair was the same length as mine and Red’s. The style seemed different, but maybe her hair was just stringy from the shower. Aside from that, the only differences were twin zits on her forehead, red and angry.
The moment I noticed them, Four casually ran a hand through her hair, adjusting two locks on her forehead just so.
Except it wasn’t casual. She was too deliberate about covering the zits. It was so obvious. So . . . so fake.
The thought was unkind, but I couldn’t help it. I recognized the movement; I’d just never seen it from this angle.
“Bathroom’s all yours.”
A nervous smile flitted over Four’s face, revealing too-large front teeth. The smile reached her eyes, but in an awkward way, pushing at her cheeks and lower lids and forming an unflattering crease.
(Why was I noticing—)
“So, is this it?” Rainbow walked up from the hallway. “We’re going to be identical roommates in our aunt’s apartment and somehow save the world? No one thinks that’s weird?”
“Everyone thinks that’s weird.” I’d intended to be funny, but it came out sharp. I needed to stop talking. They’d hate me by morning, if they didn’t already.
“Do you have other ideas?” Red asked.
Rainbow fell silent.
“We could ask your Director Facet.” Four was hugging herself, like the bathrobe provided comfort. “If anything aside from the rift is endangering the world, wouldn’t the agency know?”
“They’d just grab us and Neven to experiment.” Rainbow shrugged. “I don’t have any better ideas. But my family must be worried to death. I straight-up disappeared. On my birthday.”
My fault, I thought with a pang.
“I want to go home, OK? That’s all I know.”
“Yeah.” Four’s head dipped.
I snatched some pajamas off the pile. “Thanks for finding these.” I smiled at Red. (Was that the same fake-awkward smile I’d just seen on Four?) I said something nonsensical about getting out of these wet clothes and, oh gosh, wasn’t that kitten print on Lina’s pajama top cute, and then I was gone, diving into the freshly vacated bathroom. Steam wrapped around me.
I was panting. Why the hell was I panting? I felt so damn hot. I peeled off my T-shirt and my too-tight jeans and flung off my bra and underwear (matching, why were they matching, why bother when no one would see?) and found myself trembling in the center of the room.
Shower. Right. Where was the towel Four had given me? I must’ve put it down in Lina’s room, and now I was already in here naked—
(fires on the lawn)
For some stupid reason, that towel was the final straw. My legs collapsed under me. Tears left burning tracks on my face.
(logs slamming into those agents)
I pressed my fists into my eyes to stop the tears.
(that “Ah” sound Agent Valk made on seeing Agent Holloway in the front seat)
(Rainbow’s hair, that necklace, was that me?)
I took gasping breaths that didn’t reach deeply enough. My chest felt tight and I couldn’t breathe, and maybe this was it, this was the end, maybe I’d choke to death on tears and slime here in my aunt’s bathroom, and I’d never have to face the others or have to do whatever Neven wrongly believed I could do. The thought was terrifying and shameful and welcome, all at once.
(leaving Dad at the hospital, wheezing, wincing)
(agents pleading with me to stay, and, Christ, I’d run away)
(buildings below us like a sprawling satellite photo, except it wasn’t a photo, I was really here and so
