Lea couldn’t help but shed a few tears at the sight, but she nodded toward Nick in respect at what he had done for his mother. It was her desire, and her son had given her mercy. “It takes a strong wolf to do what you have done.”
He removed the knife from his mother’s back and threw it aside, leaving it on the floor still coated in blood. “Taking claim from my father was the hardest thing I had ever done.” He finally turned back to face them, grief written on his face, though it was still set in as calm a mask of iron as he could manage. “This was harder.”
“What would you like us to do?” Lea spoke softly in the room of death, but she was ever ready for a command from or to provide support toward her Alpha.
Nick couldn’t answer for a moment as he gathered his thoughts and tried hard to keep himself from shedding tears. “I would ask the two of you to help seal the foundation of this home as a monument to them. Every sworn follower of this pack will pay their respects between now and the rising moon of the Fulness tomorrow night. By the time night falls tomorrow, I want their memorial to be completed on this spot, never to be moved.”
“As you wish, Alpha.” Lea spoke as they both nodded and paid their respects briefly before it was just Nick left inside.
Zara continued to stand outside the door, but she was crying harder after the second death she had felt within. Are you okay?
No. He didn’t leave the room. He couldn’t. As soon as Lea and William had left, he fell into a chair near the door, leaning his head on one hand. No, I’m not.
She hesitated on going inside, since she didn’t want to make it worse for him or for anyone else simply because she was not Ironborn, but she ended up going inside anyway. Zara walked up to him and then placed a hand on his shoulder. I’m so sorry for your loss. She then placed her other hand on his arm. I’m so sorry.
It’s all on me now. His mind opened up to her without restraint. I hoped he would live. That he would understand the reasons why I had to take his place the way I did. The way he did before his father died. I had hoped they would both live, that I could ask for their advice, use their experience, their support…Nick still wouldn’t cry, but his head was spinning in circles that he couldn’t control. But they’re gone, and I killed them. They’re gone, Aura’s gone…and it’s my…I did…
Zara moved to kneel down in front of him, and she put her hands on his knees waiting for his eyes to look at hers. When they did, she finally responded to his grief. You can do this. You’re not alone, even though they’re gone. Everything they taught you was to prepare you for this. Everyone out there supports you, and loves you. They wouldn’t be here if they didn’t. Slowly she got up and then took one of his hands in both of hers. You’re not alone.
Nick didn’t pull his hand away, but he didn’t meet her eyes either. I’m glad for that much.
She placed her hand on top of his for a moment and then squeezed his gently before she stood up again. I won’t leave you unless you want me to.
He was hurting in every way he knew was possible in that moment, and so her words only made him more suspicious of her. Almost out of instinct, he opened the connection between them to look into her own thoughts, still unable to believe that she was telling the truth about her newfound commitment to his people in general and to him in specific. But when he looked there, he felt only sincerity in what she said. She had no interest in leaving him at that moment, and it was a comfort in a way that he wouldn’t have believed possible before he looked. Then stay.
Zara knew that there was a limit to how close he would let her get, and so she only dared to lean in and give him a quick hug. The need to comfort him, anyone, in grief, was too great to ignore.
He did allow that much, holding on for a moment longer than he normally would have before his flailing sense of decorum came back to him and he let her go. But he did take her hand again when she offered it. Many of the pack members will be grieving together for them both. You should be among them. Maybe their sharing with each other will help ease the hurt of feeling my parents’ deaths. He met her violet eyes finally, letting her feel his genuine concern for her well-being, not just as a friend of his pack, but as someone who was there for him when no one else was. I’m going to stay here until the funeral ceremony.
Zara nodded and squeezed his hand gently once more before she pulled away to do as he asked. I’ll come back later. I promise. Zara went to be among the people, since she knew it would help her as he mentioned that it would. She would also be able to help him if she wasn’t so distracted by the echoes of his parents’ deaths. He needed her, after all.
It was an hour of silence there with his parents before there was any sort of disturbance, and then it was Aura coming through the doors even though the guards were trying to hold her back and prevent her from getting in to see him. “Nick?”
“Let her in.”
