“I’m so sorry.” Anne kept her voice low and resisted the urge to take his arm. “My godfather is really struggling.”
“We all are,” Rafe said.
“I know. I just wish this wasn’t so painful for everyone.”
“How can it be anything else?” His voice was flat, and she wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Was he angry, frustrated, something else? Probably all of it at once.
“It will get better.” She gave him a tremulous smile and grazed her fingertips against his.
His fingers clasped hers. She looked up at him as they entered the entry hall and breathed, “Wednesday.”
With a nod, he let her go. She took her shawl from a footman and sent a last, lingering look at Rafe. His stare was dark and intense, making her shiver, and not with cold.
When they were in the coach, Deborah smoothed her hands over her lap. “Thank you for spilling your wine, Papa. I don’t think I could have endured much longer.”
Anne had endured quite enough. “Deborah, can’t you see how awful this is for everyone?”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed to slits. “Of course I can. But I am trying to support my father. He doesn’t deserve to be displaced.”
The earl, who sat beside Deborah on the forward-facing seat, patted her arm. “Thank you, dear.”
“No one deserves any of this. Imagine how you would feel if you’d been kidnapped as a child and denied the life you were meant to lead.”
“Anne is right.” The earl exhaled as he leaned back against the squab. “This is a terrible situation, but there is nothing to do but get through it. I should have stayed at dinner. I just…couldn’t.” He looked out the window.
“It’s all right, Father,” Lorcan said.
“That’s easy for you to say,” Deborah sniped. “You get to keep Kilmaar.”
Lorcan stiffened beside Anne. “And Father gets to keep his house in St. James Square. It will be an adjustment, but from what I can tell, our cousin is going to be very generous when it’s well within his rights not to be.”
The coach drew to a stop in front of Anthony and Jane’s house, and Anne was never more glad for such a short trip. She breathed with relief as she stepped down from the coach.
What a disaster. She only hoped things would improve from here. They had to, didn’t they?
Chapter 7
Rafe climbed into his cabriolet and set out from the Upper Brook Street mews. As he surveyed the world around him, he wondered how things would be different when the news of his true identity became known.
He drove through Grosvenor Square and turned down Davies Street. At Mount Street, he steered left toward the Grosvenor Mews and immediately caught sight of a young man dressed in dark clothing near the entrance. No, not a young man, but a young woman in a disguise. Would she have fooled him if he hadn’t known to look for her? He would never know.
Smiling, he came to a stop as she bounded toward him. She stopped at the cabriolet and pursed her lips.
“Do you need help?” he asked.
“No. This is just new.” She hoisted herself up into the seat and grinned at him. “I think I could get used to it. I feel so light. So free.”
Rafe chuckled. “But you look so fetching in a gown.” He suspected her backside was even more attractive in this costume, but the tails of her coat thankfully prevented his temptation to look.
“Why, thank you,” she said with a nod as he drove them toward Bond Street and then Piccadilly when they would head east. “Perhaps I could commission a more feminine version of this costume.”
“How would that look?”
“I don’t know a thing about clothing design, but probably ruffles.” She made a face. “I don’t love ruffles. Perhaps it’s just the fabric or color. Something like this in a light blue silk? On second thought, I’ve met gentlemen who wear such things.” She sighed. “I suppose I’m doomed to gowns.”
He considered suggesting that she might be most comfortable not wearing anything at all, but that would drive their conversation into a realm best left unoccupied. Especially today when they were alone. Again.
“Your sister really didn’t mind you coming out with me today?”
“She understood that I was going to find a way. She also knows we will be far from Mayfair. And she thought my costume did a good job of disguising that I am a woman. Do you agree?”
“I don’t think I can answer that objectively. I know you’re a woman. I can’t forget you’re a woman. Not even for a moment.” Hell, he’d walked right into that forbidden realm after all.
He stole a glance in her direction and saw that she looked rather pleased. He stifled a smile.
“I was sorry about how the dinner went on Monday, especially Deborah’s behavior. How were Selina and Beatrix afterward?”
Rafe didn’t want to talk about the dinner or his uncle or anything to do with the massive disruption that was about to take over his life. He did, however, appreciate her concern. “They are fine. My cousin is unpleasant. To clarify, I mean Deborah. I think I might actually like Lorcan.”
“He was thrilled about Kilmaar. You are incredibly kind.”
“What need have I for an estate in Ireland?” He’d wondered what it had meant to his father, if anything. He had a hundred questions—a thousand or more, really—about his father. The hope he’d had that his uncle might answer them was thin. The man was in turmoil, and while Rafe couldn’t blame him, he didn’t know if they’d ever be able to have a normal family relationship. Was that what Rafe wanted, some sort of surrogate father?
“Still, it was a lovely gesture, and it will help with the healing, I think.”
With their healing. How would
