“We need him,” Sloane said. “If he can break the varga’s null, witches can fight alongside the wolves to keep the humans and the female dire wolves safe.”
I’d seen how pale and weak Jasper looked. I’d noted the tremor in his hands. Breaking that null had taken it out of him and he’d known it would, but he’d done it anyway. He’d done it for me, just like he’d done so many things before.
It was time for me to give back. To give him what he needed.
“No,” Tor said. “Cora, you can’t do that. It’s too risky. You heard what he said. He has no clue what he is. You can’t compromise the seal.”
The fact he’d figured out my thoughts through the emotions filtering to him through our bond told me our connection was getting stronger. A few weeks ago, I’d wanted to block it, but it’d saved lives today, so I’d learn to live with it.
“Jasper is too dangerous,” Tor said.
Annoyance was a burst of heat under my diaphragm. “But not too dangerous to use, huh?” I stared at Tor. “Have I got that right?”
Tor sighed and closed his eyes. “You know what I mean, Cora. You know exactly what I fucking mean.”
I did, but in that moment I didn’t care. “I have to find Jasper and thank him. Something none of us have done yet.”
Leif had the grace to look shame-faced. “I’ll put the kettle on. I think we all need to talk. Properly.”
I headed up the stairs to summon Jasper.
Jasper materialized by the window as soon as I called. He obviously hadn’t gone far, but he was pissed. It was evident in the sharp gleam in his eyes and the tense way he held himself.
For the first time in forever, the urge to hold him swept over me. “Hey.”
He was still ethereal. Whatever he’d done had taken up most of his reserves. I’d seen him as selfish and uncaring for so long because that’s all he’d projected and because…Well, it had been easier to see him as a monster. But his actions told a different story.
Jasper wasn’t a monster.
Jasper was alone.
He was an anomaly like me…Like me.
I approached him, fingers going to the amulet at my neck, heart pounding against my ribs so hard surely he could hear it?
A ripple of confusion ran over his features as I bridged the distance between us.
“Cora?”
I tipped my head to rake his face with my gaze, lingering on his mouth. “Thank you for saving our asses today.”
He slow-blinked, his mouth twisting in a wry smile. “It’s what I do.”
“I know.” I reached up to touch his jaw, but my fingers passed through him.
He closed his eyes as if in pain. As if the absence of my touch was a barb.
My throat ached with the emotions I’d been suppressing for too long. “I want to touch you, Jasper.”
His eyes popped open and locked with mine.
“I want to kiss you.” My voice trembled and I touched the amulet. “Take what you need, so I can take what I need.”
The hard look in his eyes melted to something questing and almost vulnerable. The amulet lit up, sensing my acquiescence, and then the delicious tugging in my chest told me he was feeding, taking what he needed to replenish, to become—
His hand hugged my throat.
Yes.
I allowed my eyelids to flutter closed, head to tip back, as his mouth hovered over mine.
I wanted his kiss. Needed it to show him what he meant to me because I wasn’t ready to use the words. I couldn’t use the words, not without taking our connection to the next level and risking compromising the seal. Because Jasper had the potential to be my kryptonite, and the unsaid things were all I had to protect me from losing myself to him.
His mouth brushed mine, a feather touch. “What do you want, Cora?”
“A kiss.” My words were a whisper.
His grip on my throat tightened a fraction, and my eyes opened a crack to be snared by the tumult of emotions in his emerald gaze. Hunger and betrayal and…sadness.
“Jasper…”
“You want a kiss. You want to be saved. You want your friends, your mates to be saved. You want, you want, you want.” His grip tightened even more. “I want too, Cora. I want respect. I want not to be treated like a fucking pet on a leash. You want me? Then take off that damn amulet; otherwise this thing between us, the thing you pretend isn’t there, is over.” He released me and stepped away, fully corporeal now. “I wonder how your friends would fare with no Jasper to save their asses.”
Ice replaced the heat in my veins. “What?”
“I’m done bailing your friends out, Cora. Until you take that amulet off, you’re on your own.”
He vanished, and for the first time since he’d bonded to me, the connection I’d taken for granted felt cold and empty.
“Well, I guess I deserved that.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“He won’t help, then?” Sloane nodded. “I don’t suppose I blame him.”
Me neither.
“What?” Tor glared at her. “He has the chance to save lives. If he was a decent person—”
“He’s not a person.” I made a sound of exasperation. “He doesn’t even know what he is. He’s been used and bound and trapped all his life. With me, he had some semblance of freedom, some control, and then I put on this fucking amulet.”
“You did what you had to. You were protecting yourself,” Tor said.
“From what?” Honestly, I wasn’t even sure anymore. “Jasper has always protected me. If not for the seal I’d take this thing off and take my chances with him.”
The room was eerily silent. Fuck. I needed to rein in my emotions. Considering other people’s feelings wasn’t my forte. Except when it came to Fee. I wasn’t the kind of person to walk on eggshells.
Tor, Leif, and Rune were my mates by choice. They were connected to me, they cared about me, and there was
