“I think you’ve mentioned them a few thousand times,” was the wry reply.
She laughed again. “They were that good.” She spoke to Pierce again. “It’s almost worth coming to New York to get one from you.”
“You’re in Colorado. California would be closer,” Pierce noted.
“But I don’t have connections.”
“I’ll save two for Jimmy.”
“And he’ll taunt me. Oh, Pierce, there’s so much to tell you! I don’t know where to start.”
“I’ve got a calling plan,” Pierce said with a smile, settling back in his chair. “Bring me up to date, Mack. Please.”
The phone in the kitchen rang on Saturday night as Jacquie was coming back into the apartment after taking out the trash.
It was Brandon again.
“You drew the short straw?” she asked and he laughed.
“Pretty much. Hope it isn’t a bad time. You sound out of breath.”
“The elevator was being used by movers so I had to take the stairs.” Jacquie exhaled and leaned on the kitchen counter. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think I wasn’t in good shape at all.”
“Is that what Mr. Romance had to say last night?”
Jacquie felt herself blushing. “I hope you didn’t call for a confession. I had a date. It went well.”
“Everything else is classified information,” Brandon said cheerfully. “You should know that I was assigned this shift because of my relevant work experience.”
“You’re a bartender.”
“And listening to confessions of the heart is within my skill set.”
“There are no confessions of the heart to be made,” Jacquie said firmly. “It was sex. Really good sex, but just sex.”
“Who are you trying to convince?”
“Everyone, apparently,” she said with frustration.
“Oh, the man wants more.”
“What he wants or doesn’t want isn’t your business.”
“But what you want is, Mom. Hey, I know it seems intrusive, but we all just want you to be happy.”
“I am happy!”
“But you don’t have to be alone.”
“Maybe I want to be.”
“Seriously,” Brandon scoffed. “No one really wants to be alone.”
Jacquie was annoyed enough to admit the truth. “If the price is falling in love again and having my heart broken again, then I do.”
“What?” Brandon demanded.
Jacquie’s reply was fierce. “I will never fall in love like that again. I will never love a man the way I loved your father, because if my heart was broken again, I don’t think I’d survive.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I only survived the last time because I didn’t have a choice. You four were counting on me. I had to pick myself up and keep going.”
There was a beat of silence on the line, then Brandon cleared his throat. “What do you mean ‘falling in love like that’? Like how?”
“Head over heels. Nothing else matters. The world is incomplete without him. All that stuff that’s in the songs.”
“What if you could fall in love better?”
“I don’t understand.”
“What if you fell in love with someone who took better care of you than Dad did?”
Jacquie caught her breath. “Don’t talk about your father like that,” she said softly.
“He chose to leave us, Mom. He didn’t talk to you about it, did he?”
“No.” In a way, it felt good to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
“So. maybe you were all in but he wasn’t. What if you fell for someone who loved on the same terms that you do? It would be pretty incredible, Mom. You’re fierce.”
“That’s an unrealistic hope, Brandon.”
“Is it?”
“Look. I appreciate you calling in to check on me, but I’m fine...”
“How was it anyway?” Brandon asked. “Was it mediocre? Crappy sex? Sloppy lips and a floppy belly? Is that why you won’t give him another chance?”
Jacquie couldn’t stop from smiling in recollection. “It was perfect, really. Candles, music, champagne.” She hesitated a moment then continued. “Sex toys.”
“Whoa! I did not need to know that!”
She laughed. “Well, now you do. I’ll just leave you with that mental image.”
“I need to scrub out my brain.”
“I think maybe you need to get one of these squishy vibrators for Elizabeth. The more it’s pressed, the faster and harder it vibrates. Let me get the name of it.”
“Mom!”
“You can probably buy it online if you don’t want to walk into a store and ask for it...”
“You’re trying to change the subject. What was wrong with last night, Mom?”
“Nothing,” Jacquie admitted. “It really was great.”
“But....”
She frowned. “He’s not the kind of man who has relationships. He’s private. Inscrutable.”
“Oh, I get it.” Brandon had that knowing tone, the one that annoyed Jacquie.
“You do?”
“Sure. You think he might do the same thing Dad did, and you’d have no warning. You wouldn’t have a chance to change his mind or talk to him about it. You could be blindsided one more time.”
Jacquie stood dumbstruck in her kitchen, recognizing the truth when she heard it. “I don’t think Pierce is the kind of man who would kill himself,” she said finally.
“But you don’t know. And you don’t think you’ll find out, since he doesn’t confide in you. Fair enough, Mom. Fair enough. A good defense is the best offense. But people change, you know.”
“Not really. Not down inside.”
“Sure they do. They have to try really hard, but it can be done. Think about it—if he’s not the kind of guy who has relationships, what is this more he wants?”
“A relationship,” Jacquie had to admit. “He says it’s the first time he’s wanted more.”
“And you’re afraid to be hurt again. I dunno. Maybe you don’t want to end the conversation just yet. Maybe you could give him a way to go forward.”
Jacquie smiled. “I did. I asked him for a story and he refused.”
“Okay, but would you listen if he decided to tell it to you?”
She paused and looked around the kitchen, thinking. “I might.”
“You should,” her son insisted. “A wise woman told me once that you don’t get all the good stuff just for wanting it. You have to work for it sometimes.”
“I wonder who that was,” Jacquie said with a smile.
“You
