“I’m sorry. I guess I’m just a little on edge. I just moved back to the city and I fully admit I have a chip on my shoulder.”
“Well, I’m happy to be the welcome wagon,” she says. She reaches in her black Gucci bag that probably costs as much as a year’s worth of rent at my apartment, and slides me a shiny black business card. “That’s my cellphone number on there. You ever want to go out for drinks or manicures, I’m your girl. And if you’re looking for work, I think you’d make a great fit at Club Taboo.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Thanks,” I barely squeak out. The wildest sex I’ve ever had in my life was last night in Serafin’s office. I don’t think that’s adequate experience to work at a place like that, but by the way her eyes are planted on my breasts and the way her hand grazes mine as she pulls away from handing me the card, I can’t help but feel like she wouldn’t mind training me.
“He’s fine!” Fabian says as he walks back over to us.
“Did you think otherwise?” I ask.
He looks at me and shrugs. “The man’s known for disappearing every once in awhile. He has a cellphone from 2002. He barely gets service a mile outside the city. He said he’ll be back at the house by midnight.”
I look down at my watch. It’s only 9 PM, and I plan on being passed out sound asleep by then. Even if what Fabian says is true about his cellphone, he still could’ve called me, texted me… anything. I don’t want his flowers or money or gifts. Now that he’s back in my life, all I want is his time. I don’t want to end up like his mother, bought and paid for, well kept, but still kept in the darkness.
“I’ll give you a ride back,” Fabian suggests.
“You don’t have to pretend like you want to be nice to me, Fabian. Seriously, I’m fine.”
“I do want to be nice to you,” he says. “I want the two of you to work out. Without you, he’s a fucking disaster.”
“And with me?” I tease.
“Listen, I’m sure whatever he’s doing is extremely important, at least in his mind. When he gets an idea in his head, he doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants, even if it drives him completely insane.”
I feel a blush running over my body. I know how bad he wants me, and I can’t stop thinking about how much I crave him.
“You’re more than welcome to stay and hang out with us if you want, or I’ll call you a cab so you get home alright, but either way, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Serafin is the most loyal person you’ll ever meet.”
“I know. It’s not just that…” I look at Magda and wonder if she knows exactly how these men earn their livings. I wonder if she’s completely fine knowing at any moment, out of the blue, somebody might come along and take away the thing she cares about more than anything in the world. “I can’t stop thinking about the incident. I don’t want something like that to happen to him ever again.”
Fabian’s eyes light up and he smiles and takes my hand. “Hey, we can’t control the past. We can’t control the future. All we can do is show up every day and try and find these little pockets of love and joy wherever we can. I know it sounds cheesy, but there’s no sense in obsessing about things we can’t control.”
“What he means is, live like you’re gonna die tomorrow,” Magda says, raising her margarita. “and just enjoy the ride.”
“You don’t hate me for what I did?” I ask.
“I can’t hate someone who makes my best friend so happy. I do want to know why you added me on social media, though.”
“You know exactly why,” I say, squeezing in the booth next to the two of them. “I was trying to stalk Serafin without anybody knowing. My husband would’ve killed me and Serafin’s parents would’ve sued me.”
He slides his margarita in front of me and I take a big slurp from the straw.
Magda throws her head back and laughs. “I knew I liked this woman. She’s lived a life.”
I guess I have lived quite the life, but the stuff Fabian said rings true. None of the stuff that happened in the past really matters. I can’t let myself dwell on the future. Serafin’s had my heart all these years, even though we were miles apart, even through the good and bad. Right now I can just curl up in this pocket of love and for once in my life not feel like I’m about to be pushed off a cliff into the ocean. Now’s not the time to fight. Now’s not the time to freak out or imagine the worst case scenario. He is mine. I am his. That’s all that matters.
14
Serafin:
I run up the stairs as fast as my legs allow. I haven’t slept more than a couple minutes here and there in over twenty four hours, but the adrenaline coursing through my veins is enough to keep me awake for another day or two.
On my way back from the country I started getting texts from Mia. I had a feeling she was going to be pissed off because I took off for so long right after our first night together, but some things can’t wait. To my surprise, her texts weren’t angry.
They were the kind of texts that made me wish I upgraded my phone a long time ago. The grainy pictures of her in that red lingerie I bought her made me push the speed limit a lot harder
