Even worse than when I told him his parents were in on it the whole time.
I push myself up off of the floor. This big house filled with funeral flowers is suddenly so unwelcoming. I’m like a stain on the curtains, just hanging out until I’m irritating enough to make someone want to do something about it.
I’m useless. I’m just as helpless as the day he met me. Just as helpless as the day he brought me here. I wish I would’ve just stuck to the contract and stayed far away from him.
I go upstairs to our bedroom and stuff a bag with some clothes. I look at my engagement ring one last time, slipping it off and setting it on his nightstand. I’ll never be able to look at that thing without remembering how good I had it. It would serve as a constant reminder of the fact that I don’t deserve it. It’s just a hunk of metal, but to me, it would always be a sad reminder at how badly I ruin everything I touch.
Serafin’s trust, however… that is everything.
I betrayed him by trying to keep him safe, over and over again. All the man really needed was a person to be honest with him, a person who he could rely on to be upfront with him, for better or for worse.
And I betrayed that. Over and over again. I tried to build our relationship on lies even when he brought out the best in me. Over and over again.
I tiptoe down the steps, choking back tears, hoping I don’t run into anyone on my way out the door. Even just seeing Maria would send me into a spiral. This place is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a home in my whole life, but I’ve overstayed my welcome.
I walk out the front door, shutting it as softly as possible behind me. The cool night air stings the tears on my face, but my body is burning up hot. I walk down the long tree-lined driveway, not really sure where I’ll go. Maybe I’ll stay for awhile with my parents. They’ll probably put me in the goat pen, but maybe that’s exactly where I belong.
Headlights shine up the pavement, and I jump over into the bushes, crouching down. My heart beats fast in my chest, and I take a few deep breaths.
You can’t leave him like this.
You can’t just walk out and leave.
I’ve spent my whole adult life walking out on things that are important to me because I didn’t want to deal with the consequences. I let Serafin’s parents run me out of town. I left my paintings, my reputation, and my belongings behind because I didn’t want to have to stand up for myself. I completely abandoned my morals because I thought Janka could solve all my problems. I lost myself so many times, I forgot who I was.
I’m not that person anymore, and Serafin is the key.
He’s my freedom.
He’s the only person who ever let me be myself.
I stand up from the bushes and dust of my clothes, picking a few stray branches out of my hair as I walk out into the driveway before the headlights can pass me.
I stand off to the side on a rock, waving my arms.
As the car approaches, it’s obvious it’s not him. The green dented up VW sends a chill down my spine. That was my car. A husband and a lifetime ago, that’s what I drove.
I lost that car in the divorce.
The only reason why it would be here is because…
The sound of rubber squealing on the pavement sends me back into the bushes.
The car door slams and I crouch down as low as I possibly can, planting my hands and feet into the ground so I can crawl away if I need to.
“I saw you, you fucking slut,” Bartek’s voice echoes in my ears. “Come out of there right now. Your little boyfriend isn’t gonna come and save you now.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. What did he do to him? How long has he been here waiting outside? If he laid a hand on Serafin, I’ll fucking kill him myself. I don’t care what the consequences are.
“Come on, Mia, it’s time for you to come home. No more stupid games. You had your fun.”
I never asked Serafin what he did to Bartek to get my paintings back. I guess in the back of my mind I was okay with him doing whatever it took to get rid of him once and for all. I just assumed he made him disappear.
Assumptions. Those nasty things are what got me in this place to begin with.
“Come on, Mia, I need you baby,” he pleads, and I realize he’s drunk. He never calls me baby unless he’s a bottle of vodka deep. The pleading and the crying were his way of making me pity him, but after that, he would get even more violent than usual. When he’s blacked out drunk he has no concept of consequences. He’d beat me within an inch of my life without even batting an eye and then deal with the aftermath when he sobered up. Drunk Bartek scares me, even now.
“I have nothing without you, Mia. I got fired from my job because of Serafin. I lost the house. Nobody will even look me in the eye anymore. I need you to come back. I need you to tell everyone what he said wasn’t true. You know I love you. You know the only reason why I ever hurt you is because I love you so fucking much.”
He begins to sob loudly, but I don’t feel an ounce of pity for him.
Instead, I swell with pride, knowing that Serafin didn’t just beat Bartek into a pulp and leave him for dead.
He handled Bartek by telling the truth.
He’s not a monster like this parents, he’s a
