“Well, as fate would have it,” Dante began, “I actually know a little about this topic. Out of the two, I would have to say Michael Myers is the more evil of the two.”
“Boom!” Phillip cried, raising both his hands in a faux explosion.
Cam gaped at him, shaking his head. “How, man?!” he blurted. “Jason has a much higher body count than Michael does!”
“It’s not about the number of kills,” Dante replied, “but where he killed them.”
The younger man raised an eyebrow. “I don’t follow.”
“Of course you don’t,” Lily drawled, “because you’re an idiot.”
“I mean, it’s pretty simple when you think about it, really,” Dante continued. “Crystal Lake is his home, and outside of killing Alice at the beginning of the second movie, pretty much every single one of his kills has been people who came to Crystal Lake. Or, in his mind, people who were invading his home. Granted, that case isn’t as airtight as say, Leatherface’s, but it excuses a lot of the murders when compared with Michael, who just hunts and kills all over town.”
The boys looked at each other and shrugged, finally nodding at the answer.
“What are y’all talking about?” Ace asked as he sauntered up behind them, finally fully clothed.
Dante chuckled. “They were having a debate on who the most evil movie character was,” he explained.
“Oh yeah?” Ace asked. “Who won?”
Phillip puffed out his chest. “My pick, Michael Myers,” he declared.
“Eh, not a bad choice,” Ace said, tilting his head back and forth. “A hundred percent wrong, but not a bad choice.”
The younger man raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?” he challenged. “Who is your pick?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” Ace drawled. “It’s Jenny from Forrest Gump.”
Everyone froze and stared at him with blank expressions.
“I’m… almost afraid to ask,” Lily said slowly, closing her eyes. “But why is Jenny the biggest movie villain?”
Ace balked at her. “Are you serious?” he asked. “She raped a mental midget who she knew was in love with her, completely abandoned him afterwards, then showed back up years later to dump an AIDS baby in his lap and then took advantage of him yet again, so she’d have someone to take care of her as she died.” He took a breath, having spouted all the information without breathing. “That’s way more evil than a few dumb sex-crazed teenagers meeting the business end of a machete.”
Lily facepalmed so hard she was sure she’d given herself a minor concussion. The rest of the group was speechless.
“Based on your reactions,” Ace drawled, “I’d say I won that round.”
His cousin sighed. “More like you killed so many of our brain cells that we lack the ability to respond,” she said.
“Before he shares more film history thoughts,” Dante cut in, “do you boys have any coffee?”
They shook their heads in tandem.
“Only thing they had in the house was decaf,” Cam replied.
Lily grimaced. “Now that’s evil,” she said.
“Come on, we’ll get some at the gas station,” Ace suggested. “Need to fill up that dirt bike with gas anyway.”
His cousin furrowed her brow. “When did you get a dirt bike?” she asked.
“Found it yesterday, going through that last house’s garage,” he explained, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. “Doesn’t look like it’s been run in a while, so I need to put it through its paces so it doesn’t break down.”
“If you want to grab that,” Dante said, “I’ll grab my handgun and we’ll start walking.”
Ace nodded. “Yeah, good call,” he agreed. “Grab my knife if you don’t mind. Can’t be too careful these days.”
As the trio headed off, Cam stepped forward.
“Hey, will you bring us back a cup, too?” he asked.
Dante paused, glancing over his shoulder. “How do you take it?”
Cam smirked. “I take my coffee like I take my women,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.
“Then you already have it, since the only women you take are imaginary,” Lily quipped.
He opened his mouth, but then just hung his head, prompting laughter from everyone, especially Phillip, who bumped his shoulder in his mirth.
The trio walked up the street, Dante and Lily up ahead as Ace pushed his shiny new dirt bike a few yards behind them. They walked quietly, just enjoying the peacefulness of the morning.
Dante glanced over at Lily, unable to keep his eyes off of her, and she side-glanced him back, the two blushing a bit and immediately averting their eyes.
Ace saw the exchange and rolled his eyes, speeding up to a jog to catch up to them. “It’s the apocalypse, this ain’t the time to slow play it,” he quipped.
Both of them started to argue as he jogged by them, pushing the bike, but clamped their mouths shut to avoid further embarrassment.
He looked back over his shoulder as he jogged ahead. “You know I’m right,” he called in a singsong voice, “which is why neither of you are saying anything. Now would one of you make your damn move already, so we can get on with our day?”
He turned his back to them and rushed off towards the gas station.
When he was out of earshot, Dante scratched the back of his head nervously. “I… I know it’s only been a few days since we met,” he began, avoiding looking at her. “But I do kind of like you.”
She chuckled, unable to hold in her smile. “I know it’s only been a few days,” she echoed, “but I kinda like you too.”
He smiled down at her, reaching out and grabbing her hand, and she laced her fingers into his. They walked along, enjoying the human contact and the peaceful morning for a few moments.
“Just so you know,” Dante finally said playfully, “I don’t put out on the first date.”
Lily winked. “Just so you know,” she replied, “I do.”
They shared a laugh and were still chuckling when they reached the gas station.
Ace spotted them from his perch next to the bike, the gas pump firmly lodged in the tank. “Well, it’s about damn time,”
