She smirked and gave him a playful punch on the arm. “Just giving you a hard time,” she replied. “I’ll keep them occupied.” She winked at him and then stood in front of the window, making silly faces at the zombies clamoring to eat her through the wood.
Ace led Dante out through the living room, where the other three were perched on the couch, looking nervously all around.
“Is everything okay?” Katie asked.
Dante nodded. “Yeah, just a few of the neighbors paying a visit,” he said. “We should only be a couple minutes, so you guys hang tight.”
The trio nodded, and the two men headed through the kitchen. Dante grabbed a handgun from the counter as they went, pausing at the back door to make sure there weren’t any more unwanted guests. Ace peered around too, and thankfully the backyard was empty.
Dante inclined his head towards the small wooden tool shed at the back. “So, you got something useful in there?” he asked.
“Oh yeah, and better than that, I already have an idea!” Ace declared.
His companion raised his eyebrow. “Color me impressed,” he admitted, “and terrified.”
Ace laughed and opened the door. The two of them darted over to the shed, the redneck slipping inside while Dante kept watch. There was a clamor in the shed before Ace emerged, holding a giant pitchfork and a sledgehammer.
Dante stared at him for a moment. “Really?” he finally asked.
“Oh yeah, really!” Ace replied with a huge grin on his face. He held up the pitchfork, which had foot-long spikes at the end. He handed over the sledgehammer.
Dante took it and tested its considerable weight in his hand. “So what’s the plan?” he asked.
“Those things are pressed up against the wall, right?” the redneck asked. “Well, I figure if I get up a head of steam, I should be able to punch through them with this and hold them in place while you go all Gallagher on them.”
Dante chuckled. “Little early for a Sledge-O-Matic reference, but we’ll roll with it,” he said.
Ace gave him a little salute and then took a wide turn around the house, Dante close behind. They went out to the far edge of the grass, a good thirty yards away from the zombies that were still stacked at the window.
Ace moved forward, but Dante grabbed his arm, holding him back.
“What’s up?” the redneck whispered. “You see something?”
Dante shook his head. “I don’t know,” he murmured.
“Okay?” Ace asked.
His companion sighed. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Just, when they were running up, the girl zombie on the right side there was moving slow.”
“How slow?” Ace asked.
Dante tilted his head back and forth. “I mean, faster than I would have liked,” he admitted, “but about half the speed as the others.” He watched closely, staring at the ghoul, seeing it was even hitting the window a bit slower than the others who were still at full speed.
“I mean, I got a video camera in the house if you want me to run and get it,” Ace teased quietly.
Dante shook his head. “No, I’m good.”
“Okay, with the way they’re stacked up, I should be able to pin two of them together,” the redneck whispered, miming the motion with the pitchfork. “I’ll hold them in place while you deal with the third. Sound good?”
Dante nodded. “Lead the way,” he said.
The two of them broke out and raced towards the zombies. The grass softened their footsteps, and Lily started to yell as they approached to muffle their noise even more.
“Yeah, you want a piece of this, you limp-dicked dead fucks?!” she bellowed.
Ace held the pitchfork out like it was a jousting lance, picking up speed and aiming it for the torso of the teenage zombie in the back. There were two of them stacked up perfectly behind one another, while the slower ghoul was to the right.
Ace let out a scream as he thrust, jamming the business end of his weapon through the back of the rear zombie so hard that it went all the way through to the front one. They didn’t even notice, continuing to focus on Lily’s taunting.
The slow zombie did notice them, however, and turned to the redneck. Before it could fully lean towards Ace, Dante grabbed the back of its shirt and took several steps away from the window before throwing the corpse into the yard.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ace cried.
“Get them on the ground!” Dante barked.
The redneck shook his head and pulled the ghouls away from the window. He wrenched the pitchfork to the side, causing them to tumble onto the grass. He leaned forward, skewering them into the grass.
Dante swung the hammer down forcefully, driving the weighted end through the back of the top zombie’s skull and right into the second one. The single blow was enough to kill both, and the two corpses twitched before falling limp.
As soon as they stopped moving, Ace jerked the pitchfork free and swung around to face the third zombie. He relaxed and furrowed his brow when he saw that not only was it not running towards him, it was struggling to even get to its feet.
Dante rested the blood-soaked sledgehammer over his shoulder, cocking his head. “Good to see I’m not crazy.”
“Motherfucker, you crazy as hell!” Ace declared. “Just throwing that thing down behind us on a hunch?”
His companion shrugged. “Figure it was worth the risk,” he said.
“How the hell do you figure?” the redneck challenged.
Dante motioned to the zombie. “If these things are slowing down, don’t you think that would be useful information to have?” he asked.
Ace wrinkled his nose, but finally nodded. “How do you know she didn’t just break her leg or some shit?” he muttered petulantly.
“That’s why we gotta watch,” Dante replied, “and see what we see.”
They stared at it, watching as it finally got its legs under it and shambled in their direction. It seemed to be a half-hearted speedwalk, and
