If it wasn’t for the fact the bar was a cover for the tables he ran and the other shit he handled, my uncle would be out of business because the place wasn’t that popular. Then again, it’s meant for the seedier people in the area. Like the men who run the drugs he created.
Those nights were nothing compared to the ones when he demanded I do shit for him where I had to get on my fuckin’ knees. It was either that or have the bullet put in my brain from the gun he held to my head.
I’m not proud of what I did, none of it, and I’ll never let another soul know what’s darkened mine.
There is barely any light shining through my black heart. Hell, the only reason I laugh and joke around people is to cover up the darkness that is me.
Letting out a deep breath, I run a hand through my hair. There’s no way I’m getting back to sleep now. Clenching the comforter in my hand I throw it off of me and get up. Strolling across my room, I head for my en suite bathroom and step directly in the shower. Since I was already naked, I didn’t have to take anything off.
After years of having to make sure I wore as much clothing as I could in my sleep, I now sleep in the nude. It’s a freeing moment for me. The confines of the blankets don’t feel suffocating in the least bit.
With the water running as hot as I can take it, I scrub my body the way I do every time the nightmares come to me. Some are like the one I had last night about the dreaded day that today is. Others are about what he’d made me do in the dark of night. Then there were the ones where I’d beat someone up. The worse was the face of the man he’d forced me to kill.
I didn’t even know his name, only that he’d borrowed five hundred dollars from Justin, and he hadn’t been able to pay it back on time. I’d been forced to watch my uncle and two of his men rape the man’s wife before putting a bullet through her head while I held the man down. After the woman fell to the floor my uncle turned the gun on me. “Time for you to show your loyalty, Alexander. Kill him,” he said. The unspoken words in that statement screamed in my head. Do this or I’ll take what I want with your sister and her friend.
“Fuck,” I mutter to myself as I try to get my head to stop bringing up images of this shit.
Shutting off the water, I step out of the shower and grab a towel. I dry off as I move back into my room and grab a pair of sweatpants to put on.
Once I have those on, I slip a hand through my hair and grab a hair tie to pull it out of my face. I was never allowed to have more than an inch of hair on my head in Justin’s house. After escaping, I grew it out. Now I keep it long up top and have an undercut.
Needing to clear my head of the demons, I head to the one room that always does that for me.
My music room.
Although Chaz, Tanner, Hunter, and I live together in our house, we all have our own space. Which works great since Chaz has his daughter, Melody, and now his fiancée, Bethany, who’s carrying his kid. Then there’s Tanner and Alexis, which I might add, is also pregnant. Having two women pregnant at the same time under one roof brings out some protective instincts in us all. Everyone in our house is my family and I’d do anything for them the same as I’ve been doing for Anabelle and Mackenzie.
Since we all have our own space, one of the rooms in my section is a music room for all my instruments. Granted when the guys and I rehearse or record, I’m behind my drum set but I do play other instruments. My second favorite to my drums, is the keyboard.
Opening the door to my music room, I don’t bother closing the door since I’ll be putting on my headphones that are plugged into the back of my keyboard. I sit on the stool and run my fingers along the keys before putting the muffs over my ears.
After pressing a few keys to make sure the volume is where I want it, I close my eyes and let the music take hold as I begin playing the notes to one of our popular songs, “Dark Lullabies”.
A moment later, I start to sing the words to the song as I play, losing myself the way I need to.
A world filled with darkness comes
Through the darkness is a light
A voice as sweet as a melody shines through
Becoming known as a dark lullaby.
A lullaby that can only be heard in the dark of night
Can you hear the melody
The soothing sound of a dark lullaby
In this moment my thoughts about what must be done today are gone and I’m in the now with my music where I need and want to be.
Nothing else matters.
At least for now. Because soon I will have to face Satan, find out what he’ll want now or find a way to break the hold he has on all of us.
One way or another, I will make sure he doesn’t touch anyone I hold close to me.
Chapter Two
Mackenzie
“Get your fuckin’ ass over here, now.” I cringe at the sound of Anabelle’s uncle’s voice through the
