Losing her felt as if I’d lost a part of me. It was when I lost her, I met Chaz, Tanner, and Lex. If not for them, I would have succeeded in my first attempt in taking my life. They brought me into the music shop we now own, where I was introduced into the healing powers of music. The man who owned the place taught us all how to play different instruments as well as read notes.
The second time I tried to take my life, it was Chaz’s daughter who pulled me back from the edge of falling down the rabbit hole. None of us knew about her mom having a history of bone marrow cancer or that she’d relapsed. This triggered something inside me, bringing back visions of seeing Hailey wither away due to her own.
Chaz had to have sensed where my head was ‘cause he’d placed Melody in my arms while saying ‘My girl needs her uncle Hunt, don’t take her chance to know him away from her. Not when she needs you as much as the rest of us need you.’ I remember looking down at her tiny face at two weeks old, Melody was yawning as she stretched her little body, eyes on me. I knew then I’d do anything for her.
However, for the reasons of losing two amazing people in my life, I hate being in hospitals and over the past two years I’ve been in enough of them.
This being one of the worst experiences of them all as we sit around waiting on news of how Chaz and Bethany along with the baby she was carrying are doing.
When Lex got the call Chaz and Bethany were at the hospital, I could already feel myself slipping. Losing them would be too fuckin’ much. Not after everything else.
I’d been in my head, standing with my brothers while they spoke about finding Lex’s woman, Mackenzie, who’d been in the truck as well. From what I gathered before zoning out, I knew this was all due to Lex’s fucked up Uncle Justin.
“Got it,” Gadget calls out, drawing me from the dark road that twists and turns inside me. At the sound of the electric doors, I tilt my head in the direction to find Connors, Gadget and his brother Dragon’s, ol’ lady coming our way. Hopefully with good news. Knowing my luck it won’t be.
“How are they?” I ask, stepping forward along with Tanner and Lex.
“Bethany is in surgery now so they can deliver the baby. Chaz is awake; however, he looks pretty banged up. He has several broken ribs and one of his arms is broken. We won’t know about Bethany until after the baby is out. He’s priority right now,” Connors informs us and I don’t know whether to feel relieved to know my brother would be okay or fall to my knees in dread at the thought of not only him losing Bethany and his baby but all of us. Better yet, anger at Justin for causing this to happen.
“You guys stay here; I’m going to go find Mackenzie. Don’t let Anabelle out of your sight please,” Lex commands, his eyes filled with a fire, we rarely saw. He kept his demons buried deep not letting them out.
I don’t say anything as I nod. Tanner steps forward, pulls Lex into a hug the way he does with all of us. Me on the other hand, I’m different from the others. I can’t do the emotional bullshit. I shut down and can’t stand that shit.
“Do what you have to do. Make it hurt and bring your girl here when you’re done. We’ll be here. We got this. You handle the rest,” Tanner said and though I didn’t say it, I nodded in agreement. Mackenzie was just as important to our family as Chaz and Bethany. Along with Alexis, Tanner’s wife.
Between what happened to both Bethany and Alexis, it nearly drove me over the edge but my brothers needed me to be strong for them and knowing they’d come through it, I was able to keep from taking that last few steps.
“Thanks, Tan. I’ll text you when I’m on the way back,” Lex mutters and turns his attention to Gadget. “Where?” he demands.
“Sent the address to your phone along with my brothers,” Gadget grunts turning to Twister, the president of the Devil’s Riot MC. “Prez, what do you want to do?”
As they go about finishing their discussion my attention is turned back to the dark place inside my head. It’s a demon that can’t seem to release its hold. The demon merely slithers its way forward when anything stressful hits my life, telling me I need to just end it all before anything else can happen or I lose another person I care about.
Movement in my peripheral vision catches my attention. Turning in the direction, I find Annslee, a woman I haven’t seen since the day she moved out of our house after Connors gave Chaz the all clear after he’d been shot, nearly dying in the middle of the street when Bethany was kidnapped.
I couldn’t say I was heartbroken about her leaving. I was honestly more than happy to see her go. Something about her rubs me the wrong way and I don’t understand it. But I do remember the two of us sharing one night where she was in my bed. I’d fucked her until she was nearly screaming the house down. If I hadn’t claimed her mouth when she came, my brothers would have been at my door demanding to know what the fuck was up.
The next morning, she was gone from my bed and our house. I hadn’t seen her since but right now staring at her as she holds a little boy who’s maybe a little
