“Something came up,” I mutter, staring after her car.
“So now you’re playing the wait-an-hour game like a high-schooler?”
“If I wanted a mirror up to my face I’d look at one!”
“Sorry,” he mutters, writing it down, “Wait an hour then…”
“Dan! You can’t write without reading it aloud?” He goes silent and I mutter to myself, “I didn’t even put two-and-two together that her cousin is the rockstar Gabriel Cocker. Is Jake his father, too?”
“Let me check.” After a pause, Dan says, “No, his father is the ex-Senator, Justin Cocker. But Jake Cocker does have two sons in addition to his daughter. One is a patented computer technology genius. Says he invented something to do with improving national security. And the other—hang on while I search it—ah, here it is! His other son, Eric, is quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons.”
“Jeezus,” I growl, rubbing my face. “That cocky motherfucker outdid himself in the gene pool. Bet it made Jake’s head even bigger. And I probably should watch sports more.”
“I always invite you to the 49ers games.”
“Why would I go?”
“Because they’re your home team. You own box seats.”
Snorting I shake my head. “To give them away as gifts for business relations. Men jump at them. I don’t have time or interest to watch grown men fighting over an inflated hunk of cowhide.”
Chuckling, Dan can’t stop himself from reminding me, “You don’t like it because you never learned the game.”
“I’ve been too busy making you a wealthy man. Now call Emma.”
“You said wait an hour.”
“Dammit, don’t call her yet!” I hang up, knowing he’s grinning on the other end of the line. “I need to stop being so nice to him,” I mutter while mulling over her family.
“Why did I never learn the rules of football?”
My sister sighs through the phone, voice so clear she might as well be right next to me and not all the way in California. “You were too busy taking over the world.”
Driving around the neighborhood for the fifth time I couldn’t take not knowing anymore. So I called her for answers. “Jen, seriously. How come I never did?”
“I don’t know, Tanner. What made you think of it?”
“Just answer the question.” At her silence, I give a more gentle, “Please.”
She laughs, “That’s better, you big bear. Dad was always working. He was a lot like you. I can’t remember him once throwing a ball to you in the backyard. When was he supposed to teach you, between driving the bus in the daytimes and janitorial work at night? He was exhausted by the time he came home. And then you grew up and didn’t want to be poor anymore, so you focused solely on learning about acquisitions, working day and night, too. You were never at home or spending time together. And then his heart attack…” she trails off.
Driving up an unfamiliar street with no place to go I say, “Yeah, I guess it’s really that simple.”
“Why the interest in football all of a sudden? Are you thinking of buying a team.”
“I could buy one, but no, smartass, there’s no interest. Someone’s brother is on an NFL team, and I realized… You know what, never mind.”
“Ryder’s graduation ceremony went well. Thank you for your gift. He loved it.”
Sun splashes my windshield through rows of trees on either side as I exhale guilt and tell her, “I wish I’d been there.”
Jen’s voice goes gentle. “Me too. But it’s okay. Where are you now? Holland? Russia?”
I chuckle, “I’m at the North Pole and Santa says hello.”
“Did you give him a car, too?”
My smile freezes, replaced by a frown. “Are you angry I got him one?”
Longer pause this time, which doesn’t bode well.
She sighs, “I just want him to work for these things, Tanner. You had to work for what you got and it gave you strong character. The world isn’t easy and giving him a free car won’t help him know the value of earning his first one. I know you don’t see it that way.”
Defensively I argue, “Hey I was just…”
“Feeling guilty about not being there and overcompensating, I know.”
Pulling to the side of the road so I can talk about this with a clear and focused mind, I tell my only sibling, “Jennifer, why am I just now hearing about this, and passively aggressive to boot. If you felt that way, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know you were going to buy it!”
“I did, too…I…”
She waits while I search my memory, finally interrupting, “You didn’t tell me, Tanner. You didn’t have Dan call me either. It just showed up one day with a bow on it. How awful a person would I be if I called and bitched you out for such a generous thing, after the fact? But it bothered me. You know nothing about parenting. I don’t mean that as an insult, it’s just a fact. But I am teaching my son, on my own, how to be a man who gives back to society. That’s really all a parent can do, train their child to be a functioning and happy member of the human race. You respect yourself so much, and I want that for Ryder, too. He has to earn his way.”
My spine bends into the seat as guilt takes hold. “Shit. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
She sighs, “Sometimes, Tanner, I wish you were a jerk. But here you go again, admitting when you’re wrong and now I can’t be angry with you.”
This makes a laugh explode from my chest. “You’re the only person who doesn’t think I’m a jerk.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. You’re just driven. I know Dan thinks the world of you. Every time he calls me he’s got such pride in his voice that he’s your right-hand man.”
“I don’t want to talk about Dan,” I mutter, not good at taking compliments. “Jen, I’m sorry about the car. And about missing his graduation ceremony. I’m in Atlanta right now but when I get back to San Francisco
