“I don’t buy that. Out here Jett’s not listenin’, so I’m gonna tell you what I see. Sofia Sol has you by the balls, just like she has any single man who comes near her. She’s powerful, capable. When we’re on a job we never have to worry if she’ll carry her weight. And on top of that she looks how she looks. How could you not have done what you did? What I’m saying is, I understand how this went down. Between you and me, I’m surprised you showed as much restraint as you have. But I watched you, son, and I know you care for her more than you should.” He pokes my chest. “Get her out of here. Go find someone like your Mom, that’s what you need. Someone like my Meg. Life is more than I ever thought it could be because of her. You go out and find that kind of woman for yourself. One who’ll stick by you through all the bad shit and make you feel more like a man.”
He pulls me in for a quick, gruff hug, and releases me as quickly as he grabbed me. I give his shoulder a slap and throw my bags over the back of my Harley.
“Let us know where you end up.”
“I won’t stay in one place.”
“I thought the same about Nevada City.”
The strap on my helmet slides into position, and I start my engine. “What if I get the Ciphers out of my system instead? Ever thought of that?”
“Yeah, I thought about it.” He starts for the plantation, fog rolling in over the grass in both directions, the driveway cutting it down the middle.
“And?” I call after him.
He calls over his shoulder, “It’s not possible.”
CHAPTER 17
SOFIA
“T here you are,” Atlas calls out as he tromps through the shallow part of the marsh toward me. “The alligator left.”
Kicking the water, droplets glittering in the light of a half-moon before they land, I mutter, “It could have come back.”
He stands next to me, hooks his thumbs in his back pocket, but says nothing, eyes dull and troubled.
I’m just glad he’s not making a move on me again. Came out here to think, and let my outburst die down in the minds of the others before we all go to bed and forget about it.
“I was thinking about us getting married,” Atlas says through gritted teeth. “We should.”
“What the hell?” I lean over to see if he’s kidding. “Are you out of your mind?”
With his dead gaze locked on the marsh he mutters, “It just makes sense.”
I stare at him a few beats, start laughing, “Yeah, sure, we should do that. I can’t wait to walk down the aisle and fight with you for the rest of my life.”
“We don’t fight,” he argues, looking at me for the first time.
“We would!”
“How do you figure?!”
“When two people aren’t supposed to be married, they fight.”
“We’ve been friends our whole lives. We live the same lifestyle. We already live in the same house, our families know each other. Hell, they are family now! But what we gotta do is keep it quiet for a little while, don’t want to rock the boat just yet.” He stares off, frowning while he searches for more evidence I should be his wife. “And the sex we had was out of this world, and you know it!”
I can’t believe I have to explain, “That all makes sense, Atlas.” Dammit, I can’t hurt his feelings. Have to find a way to show him he doesn’t really want this. “There’s no way it’s a good idea, come on. Just listen to yourself!”
His head cocks away from me. “What?”
With all of my strength I give the murky water a kick, send it flying high, the splash loud before I yell even louder, “God, I don’t know how to talk to you about this. It’s so far from reality, it’s nuts! Look, okay, I don’t know what’s gotten into you but us getting married is the craziest thing you’ve ever come up with. It’s even dumber than the time when you wanted us to steal patrol cars and drag race!” I start to head out, mumbling, “and I just wanted some time to myself out here,” when the sound of a motorcycle leaving our property turns my head. Curious about who it is, I stretch my neck to see through the thick trees. “Who’s leaving, any idea?”
He doesn’t answer, so I keep watching, figuring he has no clue, either. As it gets closer I recognize Luke’s helmet for the diamondback rattlesnake painted down the middle, the rest as black as his long hair flying in the wind.
“Where’s Luke going?” Assuming Atlas doesn’t know, I head for the house.
He follows me out, growing agitated. “We’re already like family, all this would do is make it so we could…”
“So we could what?” I spin around.
“Be official.”
“You mean have sex whenever we wanted, get our own room here? Have little Atlases and Sofias?”
He shrugs, “Sure.”
“You sound so excited about it!”
“Soph!”
“No, Atlas, I’m done with this.”
“Oh I get it, marrying me is weird to you?!”
“Oh my God,” I shout, spinning around and getting in his face. “I need you to wake the fuck up because this isn’t you right now. You’re stuck in some kind of ego-battle that I can’t understand. I love you, Atlas, as a brother or a friend. Both! But I won’t marry you. There’s no way I would, or should.”
Outraged, he barks, “Why not?!”
“Because when I mentioned us getting our own room here and making babies, what did you say? You said, sure.” I touch his chest to calm him. “And when you gave all the reasons for why we would work, you know what was missing? How you felt about me. Why I’m the woman you can’t live without! Atlas, you don’t love me like that. Be honest. Nobody should get married for a sure or a makes sense.” I push off from
