Sage and I would still respect Atlas.
That nice moment Mom and I had could have stuck. Now she’s looking at me like I’m a live wire who does nothing but bring chaos to our household. Again.
Never ending list of terrible things.
Yay me.
“What the hell is wrong with this toothpaste?” I mutter, spitting it out and picking up the tube. “Sunscreen. Perfect.”
A rinse of mouth wash later and I’m back in our room, ignoring the fact that Celia is still staring at the ceiling. As soon as I flip the light switch off, she says, “Was it any good?”
Pulling up the covers I gnaw on my cheek, because she’s asking about the wrong brother. “It wasn’t worth it.”
The nightlight illuminates her sigh. “I hated hearing the Badger and Jett fight.”
“Me too.”
“So disappointing.”
I stare at her. “Disappointing?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
She bites her lip and turns on her side, resting on her arm again. “Because…”
After a few seconds of silence, I ask, “Because why?”
“If they’d been okay with you and Luke, there might have been a chance for…me and Atlas.” At my horrified expression she smiles, picking at her fitted sheet. “I know there’s an age difference. I’m the oldest of the kids besides Tyler. I get that, I do. But he looks out for me. Remember at the house after I shot that monster? Atlas was my rock as much as you were. It’s always been that way, haven’t you noticed? And we get along so well. I just think…it could be amazing.”
I pull the covers over my head and roll over. She can never know.
“Aren’t you going to say anything? I just told you something I’ve been hiding for a long time.”
“I’ve had a long day, Ceels.”
“But say something!”
“Um, I guess I’m shocked. Atlas is younger on the inside than he acts on the outside.”
“Well, I don’t agree with you.”
“Fine.”
We lay in silence until she whispers, “Don’t tell him.”
Pain twists in my heart as images of Atlas and I haunt me. “I promise I won’t.”
“Night Soph. I love you.”
A tear falls down my cheek as I whisper, “Love you, too, Ceels.”
CHAPTER 19
L UNA COCKER
C armen walks onto the back porch where I’m drinking coffee, my boot on the table and a frustrated sigh on my lips. She follows my gaze to Sofia Sol splitting wood with a hatchet.
“Now what’s she doing that for? It’s not even Fall.”
“Blowing off steam.”
In loose-fitting dark jeans and a brown t-shirt, Carmen sits in one of the old rocking chairs and we watch my daughter beat the hell out of that pine for a good ten minutes. “She’s not tired yet?”
“Won’t stop until her body quits on her. I think that’s the point.” Setting down my empty cup I pick at the frayed hole in my black jeans. “Three weeks since he left and she’s fixed every bike we have, washed the ones Scratch left behind, and cleaned the bathroom!”
Carmen’s soft brown eyes go wide. “She cleaned?”
“I know, right? Oh, and mowed the lawn, but we already talked about that.”
“Her riding all over the property on that industrial mower for six hours almost blows me away more than cleaning the bathroom!” She holds her finger up. “Almost!”
“I saw her going crazy down there by that oak tree, see the farthest one?” I sigh, staring at Sofia’s hatchet swing. “She was circling the same spot like the grass couldn’t get short enough. I’m guessing that’s where they…”
My raised eyebrows finish the sentence.
Carmen stares at it, then shakes her head. “Wow, I bet you’re right.”
“You notice how she’s treating Atlas?”
“Like he doesn’t exist.”
“I’m still trying to figure out why he did it.”
Carmen tucks her bare feet under her, smoothing her t-shirt over her belly. “He and Luke are so close, it makes no sense.”
“You have a hard time believing it was for the club, too?”
She nods, eyes flicking to the screen door as it clatters the arrival of Meg, carrying a fresh pot of coffee and two cups, red hair in a messy bun over comfy jeans and a light sweater. Carmen and I watch her eye Sofia before she gets to us and pours two, and refills mine. Sitting down she glances again to my daughter.
“Thank you,” Carmen smiles, lifting her cup.
Meg gives us a guilty look. “I saw you from the kitchen, and I’ll be honest, I wanted to know what you were talking about.”
I shrug, “Can’t blame you. And I needed more coffee anyway. But you probably already know.”
“Yep.” She blows on her cup, steam billowing up. “I’ve been keeping my mouth shut but…I think she’s in love with him. What do we do?” She’s directing the question to me since they’re our children.
“Has Luke called?” I ask.
“Me? Just once. Barely spoke. He’s angry at us.”
“I would be, too,” I sigh. “I know he hasn’t called Sofia, she barked something about him needing to answer his damn phone, before she tossed hers across one of the parlors. Screen’s a mess now.”
“You were with her?” Carmen asks. “What did you say?”
“Didn’t have to be with her. Could hear it from the next room.” My friends side-eyeball me. “Yes, I was eavesdropping! Don’t act like you’ve never done it.” Taking a sip I mutter, “If I was Luke, I wouldn’t talk either. I remember when I left this house before Jett and I were officially together. This was before your time here, Meg. I’d never been around a place like this, and I ached for Jett, ached for this house, the family it could provide for me after years of…a fuckin’ nightmare.”
Carmen chews on her lips. “I remember that. God, it was so long ago. I wished so bad that I could help you find your way back. I was a baby then. No clue.”
We sit in silence. Sofia swears loud enough for it to travel to us as
