She smiles at me, and I return it, holding her eyes a second before remembering the rule I just heard. “So, uh, Celia?”
“Yeah?”
“That forbidden thing. That just for…who?”
She stares at me for a second before her pretty eyelashes fall to her lap. “There’s no sex allowed in the house if you’re not married, or going to be. Causes drama we can’t have here.” Meeting my eyes she looks soft, maybe even shy. This girl’s not shy, so her altered demeanor has got my attention. “Like you said, life is tough. Especially out there. We need us to be as strong as we can get. You see how Jett and Honey Badger are! The weird vibe that falls over us whenever we’re reminded who’s missing. I just hope Luke’s okay.”
Taking a sip I flatly say, “He is.”
Celia nods, then blinks at me, cocking her head. “How do you know?”
“This a test?”
“No, why would it be?”
I lean back in the chair and ask her, “Would you tell me if it was?”
She thinks about it. “Maybe not.”
“Then I’m keeping my mouth shut.”
“It’s not a test!”
Bringing the cup to my lips I stare ahead. “Not falling for it.”
“What can I do to make you believe me?”
Eyeing her from my profile I think about it, running my tongue over my teeth as the ideas swing by.
Flash me.
I wish.
Come sit on my lap.
Now you’re just being stupid, Sean.
Finally I say, “Tell me how you really feel about Atlas.”
She sits back like I’ve got bad breath and she got too close. “He’s a friend! And a family member, the way all the Ciphers are.”
“Uh huh. How come I think there’s more to it than that?”
“You’re seeing things, I guess.”
Clicking my teeth with my tongue I go back to eating my eggs, which are cold yet still tasty. Celia stares at me while I ignore her and enjoy my meal. After a good six, seven minutes she stamps her boot on the old wood porch. Eyeing her in the same way as before I smirk, “Something bothering you, Ceels?”
Dark eyes flash as she stews in her anger. She wants the information I have but has to be honest to get it. And that means maybe saying something she’s never told anyone. Scanning the house, she leans forward and whispers, “Fine, I have feelings for him. You happy now?”
Not in the slightest. Hearing it aloud sticks a knife in my gut to a level I hadn’t anticipated. My casually entertained, cocky attitude turns to irritation. Wiping my hands on my jeans I don’t meet her eyes just in case she sees I’m not cool with this. “Alright, I’ll tell you since you finally came clean. No test?”
“No test!”
“I don’t understand why you all keep acting like you don’t know where he is. It was him and Sofia Sol who recruited me in Arizona.”
Dozens of thoughts take turns dominating her face. “She’s with him?”
I grab Celia’s leg, whispering, “Don’t tell. Don’t you dare fucking tell. I don’t want to be the reason they get in more trouble. I thought you knew. Don’t tell!”
She looks at the house again, covers my hand with hers and locks eyes with me. “I won’t.”
“Promise?”
“She’s my best friend, Sean. The only person I’d tell is Atlas and I can’t tell him because…well, I just can’t.” Squeezing my fingers, she reassures me, “I’m not a snitch. You have my word this won’t go anywhere besides here.”
We’re in close proximity to each other but this time there are no mitts on. We’re alone, she’s holding my hand, and a crazy impulse to kiss her overcomes me. I fight it and pull my fingers away. Dragging them over my head to get a hold of myself, I wince as I hit a goose-egg.
Celia sighs, “Yeah, you’re a mess. Probably need some aspirin.”
“No fuckin’ way.”
She tilts her head, “You’re being dumb.”
“Thank you,” I mutter.
“For what?”
“I see you respect me, Celia. It’s in your eyes, even when you mock me I can see it. All I want is to be around people who don’t buy the bullshit the masses feed us. You don’t know what you’ve got here. I haven’t been on a mission with you guys but from the conversations I’ve overheard for the past six days, they’re fuckin’ incredible.” Locking eyes with her I shake my head in disbelief. “I really don’t know how I got such a cool mom but she’s the reason I’m here. She knew I needed this.”
“Do you need this, Sean?”
“Like someone who’s starving needs a lifetime of hot meals.”
She smiles, sits back and stares into the sunny backyard. “You’re right, our life is pretty amazing.”
Celia’s so confident, centered, and I love watching her move. She doesn’t try to look sexy, but she is. So many times I’ve soaked her in when she had no idea I was engrossed in her. It’s the little things, too. When she reached over the arms of her fellow Ciphers for an extra slider two nights ago I was hypnotized by the grace of her angles, the balance on her toes. “How long have you trained?”
“Since I was seven. We all learned how to use a firearm by that age.” At my reaction she becomes serious, “They taught us that the gun won’t do anything you don’t make it do. By misuse, clumsiness, anything. So why not choose to use it with skill. We used tiny twenty-twos.”
I take a sip of caffeine. “Yeah, but age seven?”
“With as many guns as we have in this house?” Celia raises her eyebrows. “You think you want kids not knowing how to use them? What if an accidental—”
“How ‘bout hiding them?”
Her mouth clamps shut. “We’re not a normal family, Sean.”
“No shit.”
“We don’t hide here. And we don’t abuse weapons. We bend them to our will, not the other way around.”
“Look, I’m being the devil’s advocate.”
“I’ve seen the devil, and I shot him.”
Seeing
